24 Hour Gamer UK

Game Over...

2011-10-21T11:30:00.000+01:00

I'm calling quits...

It's becoming increasingly difficult to write about games on a regular basis and still sound enthusiastic, and on top of that there are so many other aspects of my life that I yearn to record on here, so with that, I am declaring 24HG-UK closed.

But wait, it's not over. I've set up a new blog not far from here, with less confinement in my mission statement. It simply exists for me to vent about all the geekery I get up to on a daily basis. Gaming is present, along with Movies, TV, Comics, Books, Music, and even a bit of real life should I ever chance upon it.

I'll leave this blog here for posterity though, sometimes I do like a good read through and a chuckle as I sit by the log fire with my pipe and a glass of brandy, and maybe one day we can all share this site with our grandchildren. Or something.

But for now it's goodbye from here, it's been a good two years, and I hope to see you all over at Professional Crastination as I close the door on 24HG-UK and lock it tight.

This key is useless now. Discard? Y.

I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was, to catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause!

2011-08-28T21:45:00.000+01:00

We're currently in the throes of a midlife crisis here at 24HG-UK towers ladies and gents. It all started with my acquisition of the X-Men Animated Series on DVD, then my rekindling a fondness for the soothing tones of Limp Bizkit. And now, to cap it all off, I've been playing Pokemon.

Not the old versions mind, although I do have both the Yellow and Gold editions and a working Game Boy Colour to hand, but this year's Black version on the DS (the standard DS, puzzlingly enough, as it was released about two weeks before the 3DS arrived, which strikes me as a bit of a missed opportunity), and it is absolutely brilliant. Not that it's any different to the old colours of course, thanks to Nintendo's policy of never changing anything, but that doesn't matter, it's not broken so it need not be fixed, as it were.

I had forgotten how much of an asshole the Pokemon AI can be at times though, upon facing my first Gym Leader's Lillipup, which pumped up it's attack power to astonishing levels right up until it's health was in a critical state, then wiped out all six of my Pokemon in six moves without me getting a turn, the bastard. Not phased though. I just need to train mine some more before I sink further into my youth. Ooh look, Comix Zone is on the PSN store...

More on Nintendo and their unwavering opposition to risk-taking, I've also put a few hours into The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D. I do acknowledge that when the game first arrived on the N64 all those years ago it did radically alter the former Zelda template, but having recently finished Twilight Princess it's glaringly obvious that nothing has changed since then. Once again, however, it's not really that much of a problem because Ocarina is still an incredible game.

One thing though, that really could and should have been altered, is the map in the HUD. Twilight Princess' map switched between floors as you did, making multi-tiered dungeons for more manageable. Ocarina's didn't, and still doesn't, annoyingly.

That's just one minor complaint though, in an otherwise great game, still as impressive now as it ever was, and thanks to a 21st century makeover, it's looking beautiful too. The only thing missing is a touch screen mini game where you catch Link's annoying fairy sidekick Navi in a jam jar and burn the little fucker with a magnifying glass, but no game is perfect, right? Well, not until November anyway.

Hunted has outstayed it's welcome, and as such I've moved on to Red Faction: Armageddon, which ditches the open-world sandbox of it's predecessor Guerrilla for a more traditional underground corridor shooter style that the series was built on. You play as Darius Mason, descendant of Guerrilla's protagonist Alec Mason (Not to be confused with Call of Duty's Alex Mason), a bald man with goggles seemingly surrounded by fellow bald men with goggles (seriously, the game looks like a Chronicles of Riddick convention) who inadvertently condemns the whole of the human population of Mars to life underground by destroying the planet's seemingly solitary terraformer, and then in a completely unrelated event, awakens an ancient race of large surly insects a few weeks later. What is he like?

While the ability to raze buildings to the ground with a lump hammer still... erm... stands, the game seems to have more of a focus on rebuilding and repairing, both of the shattered remains of society that seem to be left every time Darius decides to joke about organizing a riot on Facebook or put a cat in a wheelie bin, and of the environment which inevitably suffers after each hefty firefight, and this concept is seemingly symbolically the franchise as a whole, Armageddon being the closest in tone and concept to the original out of all three sequels. Darius keeps a magic machine on his wrist that unleashes Red Dwarf-style nano-machines to reconstruct anything in it's path, which works as fast as you can run, allowing for some genuinely impressive escapes when things get tough.

Armageddon functions well as a shooter, it's decent. There's no cover system, which would have worked a treat with the rebuild mechanic, and each weapon only has a single function, but everything else is present and correct, if a little old school. The only major problem I have with it is the same thing that bugged me about Halo 2, that you're faced with room after room full of hundreds of bad guys at times, and plugging away at identical aliens for hours on end gets very, very monotonous. And as such, as with Halo 2, I often find myself just legging it past my marauders. Also, as good as Armageddon is (and it is), it fails to live up to Guerrilla's standards. There's still no greater thrill than bombing a 120mph garbage truck into a high-rise building and seeing it collapse on top of you.

Can't help but think though, why didn't he just rebuild the terraformer at the beginning of the game, and avoid all of this hassle? What is he like?

I'll take your brain to another dimension, pay close attention...

2011-08-03T22:04:00.000+01:00

I haven't forgotten to post again, truth be told I've just not been all that arsed about gaming over the last couple of weeks, so I've had little to write about.

I suppose the biggest news is my acquisition of a second-hand Nintendo 3DS, Which set me back a meagre £149.99, less than the proposed price cut and I'll still get the freebies from the Ambassador Programme. Also, the dumbassed previous owners had left an 8gb SD card in the machine, further sweetening my deal. If you're reading this by the way, I deleted your holiday photos.

The only games I've picked up, and indeed the only currently available 3DS games that I'm interested in, are The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D and Super Street Fighter IV 3D Edition (Yes, I'm fully aware that they are both games I already own, I'll buy what I want, you're not my real dad), and I'm saving Zelda for my week in Wales next week, but I'm suitably impressed with SSFIV. It looks better than I ever expected it to, with character models that look almost on a par with it's PS3 counterpart. The backgrounds don't hold up all that well, being made up of layered, stationary 2D sprites, and it gives the whole thing a look like one of those 3D picture box things from Art Attack. The backgrounds are also very low-res, but that's only noticeable in the cutscene before you fight Akuma in Arcade Mode.

As far as gameplay goes, it's about the best version of SFIV I've played (keep in mind I haven't had a go on Arcade Edition yet), must notably because it's got the unreasonably priced DLC costume packs bundled within. Also, the touch screen displays shortcuts to two of your character's Specials and their Super and Ultra, which takes the skill out of it somewhat, rendering them even easier to pull off than Mortal Kombat's all-too-accessible X-Ray moves, but it makes some of the ridiculously difficult moves like Zangief's Ultimate Atomic Buster actually useful, and the charge moves like Guile's Sonic Boom able to be pulled off without being overly obvious to your opponent.

So yeah, good game. The only other thing I've really been playing, albeit at a snail's pace, is Bethesda's Hunted: The Demon's Forge on PS3, and, well, it's alright. I commented the other week on how every game tries to rip off God/Gears of War, but Hunted is the first game I've played that tries to do both. The two lead characters are each equipped with a Bow for cover-based shooting, and a sword and shield for close combat, with sadistic elf Elara specialising in archery and tribal-covered meat head Caddoc majoring in, well, being a meat head. To be honest, the close combat is that dull, boring and most importantly difficult that I've spent just about all of my time behind the cross hairs of the bloodthirsty elf, partly to take advantage of Caddoc's seemingly unlimited reserves of health when under the AI's supervision, and partly because the ranged combat is pretty fun, infinitely more so than the tiresome swordplay.

Occasionally the game attempts to plagiarise a third genre too, the Dragon Age/Dungeon Siege archetype of RPG, with levelling up, short conversational segments and a magic system that is utterly pointless, as it brings nothing to the table. And to say it prides itself on it's split-screen coop multiplayer, it handles that woefully - the fact that even on a widescreen TV the screen is split horizontally, resulting in neither my wife nor I being able to see pretty much anything even on our 40" screen because our letterbox views were too tiny, is unbelievably under-researched, and to add insult to injury the already sub-par graphics are noticeably downgraded too. As this was my first impression of the game, I can't say I was too delighted.

But after a couple of hours with the single-player game, despite it's faults, I find myself strangely endeared. For a game so destined for failure, a surprisingly deep history has been crafted, reminiscent of that of the Dragon Age series. I keep hearing about towns that I'm unable to visit, and discover myself wondering what they look like, how the architecture looks and so on, and with every hint at the fate of the apparently all but extinct Elven race that Elara hails from, at the hands of the so-far-unseen Minotaurs, I yearn to learn exactly what happened and itch for revenge. Yes, Hunted is an okay game, but it's an okay game in a sea of excellent games this year and as such will fall into obscurity.

So, as a parting note as I head off to the Welsh countryside, I put forward a conundrum that has bothered me for some time: Why is it that Bethesda's grasp of the open-world RPG is completely unrivalled - nobody else even comes close to the experience of games like Oblivion and Fallout 3 - yet they seemingly find it so hard to conquer any other genre?

Devil in a Blue Dress

2011-07-06T22:02:00.001+01:00

So last week I commented on the nostalgia factor of Duke Nukem Forever, sequel to an excellent 15 year old FPS from my youth, and it appears we are developing a pattern, as my latest conquest has been Alice: Madness Returns, the sequel to 2000's American McGee's Alice, which follows on from Lewis Carrol's famous fairy tales 'Alice's Adventures in Wonderland' and 'Through the Looking Glass'.

Firstly, Disney this ain't, not even the Tim Burton version. It's very dark, and tells the story of an adult Alice, dealing with the death of her family in a domestic blaze and struggling with her own increasing insanity, of which Wonderland itself is a manifestation. Undergoing psychiatric help to cure her dementia, Alice is slowly forgetting her troubled history, and as such Wonderland is ceasing to be, existing solely in her mind. But when new evidence that her family was murdered surfaces, Alice must fight to preserve her memories and recall what happened that night, and in the process, save Wonderland.

Firstly, the game is as schizophrenic as it's protagonist. At times it feels a lot like a child's game, with old-fashioned style platforming gameplay reminiscent of the first Crash Bandicoot games, or more recently Spongebob Squarepants: Creature from the Krusty Krab. The second world in particular, which takes place underwater (ironically very similar in aesthetics to Spongebob's home town Bikini Bottom, with shades of BioShock's Rapture), revolves around talent scouting for cutesy performers to star in a musical play, and is so juvenile I started to question whether I was actually enjoying it. Then all of a sudden you find a room full of sliced up carcases of anthropomorphic fish, and find out that the show is only a ruse (without spoiling too much), and the story takes a darker turn. It was probably intentional, some kind of comparison between Alice's past innocence and darker current self, but it carries off like that a few times and just seems disjointed.

The action is much more up-to-date though, with the obligatory God of War style combat (it seems every game nowadays borrows something from one of the 'Of Wars', be it the God combat or the Gears cover shooting) performing for Alice as well as any other game, and with some Zelda style projectile weapons tossed in for good measure too. Falling to the lower reserves of your health bar gives you a Fallout-3-Nerd-Rage style rage power too, boosting your attack power exponentially for a short time. And all weapons can be upgraded too, in exchange for collectible teeth, no doubt some reference to the original stories that went over my head.

All in all, there is so much to like about the game. The setting is suitably magical and wondrous, and slowly descends into a Silent Hill style nightmare, with some at-times amazing visuals (Alice's hair alone looked jaw-dropping as each strand moved individually, especially in the aforementioned undersea level), and some great voice acting really drags you in - Alice sounds like a Legend Trilogy era Lara Croft, only bat-shit crazy. And from time to time the gameplay is broken up by little mini-games, from great retro Arrow Flash style scrolling shooter sections and awesome Limbo style physics-based 2D platforming, to ill-advised Guitar Hero bits and some god-awful pinball inspired levels, but the standard is usually high. If I was to sum it up using one other game for comparison, I would call it this year's Darksiders. Really worth a go, and with the (albeit very dated) original prequel bundled with the game as DLC on top of the unusually long campaign, you get a lot for your money.

Also last week I forgot to mention Mafia II, which my wife bought for me in retaliation to LA Noire being a bit limp, and was surprisingly enjoyable. Out of all of the non-Rockstar involved GTA clones, I'd probably rate Mafia II as the current best, with a Bully style evolving sandbox city changing with the seasons (and indeed years in this case) and very likable characters that you actually care for. Sure, the graphics aren't great and the story is a bit linear, but the grit of the story and some awesome montage cutscenes make up for those minor problems, and the speed limiter for when safe driving is a stroke of genius, especially as Empire City's finest actually do enforce speed limits, unlike the flatfoots of Liberty City. And it's worth playing Mafia II just to hear Nolan North converse with himself in the street if nothing else.

Finally, rounding things up, it's finally paying off to be a Windows Phone 7 gamer, with fully achievement-equipped XBox Live Arcade versions of Angry Birds, Doodle Jump and Sonic the Hedgehog 4 hitting the OS in recent weeks, all of which are excellent ports. Speaking of Sonic, I played the demo of Sonic Generations too, and the 3D recreation of the Green Hill Zone from 1991, complete with the classic music, turned me into a 6-year-old again. I'll be watching that one. And I had a quick go on Outland on the PS3, which is trying to be a cross between Limbo and Shadow Complex and falls so hard in the process. PS3 owners, don't waste your cash, just wait for the port of Limbo due in the next few weeks.

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2011-06-28T20:32:00.001+01:00

Aw man, I went and did it again didn't I? Forgetting to post and shit*. It was only like three months this time though, cut me some slack. I'm just going to summarize what I've been playing since we last met.

I'll start with Mortal Kombat, and my god is it special. In terms of a simple, one-on-one fighting game judged solely on gameplay and balance and all that, Super Street Fighter IV is still it's superior, but MK is so much more than that. There's the wonderfully in-depth story mode that takes you through the opening chapters of the saga rewritten by an enlightened Raiden trying to change the future that once was, there's the challenge tower featuring 300 battles with varying parameters (some of which can bring a grown man to tears) and the excellent King of the Hill mode, an online winner-stays-on fight with audience participation for those not currently playing. I could write about it all day, but I won't for your sake.

I'll rope Killzone 3 and Bulletstorm into one paragraph, because the two are intrinsically linked for me, having been bought on the same day and played parallel to each other. Bulletstorm came as a bit of a surprise to me, I bought it on a whim, and it turned out to be absolutely sublime. The carnage you able to, and are indeed encouraged to achieve keeps the adrenaline pumping and as a result keeps the game running at a wild pace without it ever getting boring. And on top of that, the voice acting is fantastic, the script is hilarious and you actually care for the characters, despite them being stereotypical meat head space marines. And Killzone 3 is the exact opposite. Everything great about Killzone 2 is gone, and is replaced by a borderline homoerotic excuse for a storyline and awkward attempts at Uncharted-style humour. It's by no means a bad game, but even though the campaign clocks out after three and a half hours, I was ready for it to end.

LA Noire came and went, and despite the universally positive reviews it just failed to impress me. While cruising the mean streets of 1940's Los Angeles I even began to question myself, thinking that I was missing something, because surely all of those reviewers can't be wrong, but the game just doesn't work, and I can't praise a game for what it wants to be; Two Worlds wanted to be Oblivion, and it ended up being dung. No, LA Noire does not work at all. Take the crime scene investigations; on an early case I went to question a witness before I checked the evidence, and ended up asking him how he was linked to the missing person (that the case was built around) by name, despite not having discovered his ID and learning his name for myself yet. On a later case I found a popcorn carton with a vial of illegal morphine taped to the bottom of it, travelled to the vendor, found the cartons, the morphene and even the tape in his stall, yet was unable to bring this up while interrogating him.

The interrogations are littered with faults like this, you could have a signed photo of the killer performing the act and fail a section because it wasn't the specific piece of evidence the game was looking for right there. And when you do do something wrong, there's no explanation why. I was on the receiving end of a bollocking from my chief at one bit because I arrested the wrong guy, and it took place right outside the door of the interrogation room that I'd just made the arrest in! Firstly, if you knew it was the other guy, why didn't you make the fucking arrest, and secondly, they aren't even in cuffs yet, it isn't too late! Gah. And again, I wasn't told why it was the wrong guy. It's so frustrating. The driving, shooting and fisticuffs are alright, but they should be, they are just stolen from GTAIV, but even though you can only enter a fist fight at certain events, and the environment becomes closed off like a fighting game, you still have to lock on with the L2 button before you can throw a punch, it's unnecessary. And the controls are all wrong, R2 to accelerate and R1 for the handbrake? Nah.

Duke Nukem Forever, on the other hand, received a lot of negative reviews and was actually a joy to play. By no means was it an above average shooting game in terms of running and gunning, but the game excelled in nostalgia for those of us old enough to remember it's 15 year old prequel, and is jam packed with the crude humour, pop culture references and the obligatory half-naked digital ladies of the night we've all come to expect. Duke's antics had me literally laughing out loud at times.

It is painfully obvious that this is an old game you're playing though, the gameplay is virtually prehistoric (no cover system here, folks) and the graphics are at best horrendous, but the whole look and feel of the game takes me back to games like Prey and Doom 3, both absolute classics. The texture pop-in and awful, awful load times (which happen between every death and respawn, and that happens a lot on the later stages of the game) are inexcusable though, and do mar the experience. But overall the game was just what I was hoping for, and the collector's edition was excellent too.

Finally, I owe an apology to Platinum Games. While I stand by my opinion of Bayonetta, that it's vain, sexist, ridiculous and a shit version of Devil May Cry, a shit game in it's own right, I now feel an absolute arsehole for letting that put me off playing Vanquish, which is an absolute blast from start to finish, Sure, it's only four hours long, but it's four hours of action, adrenaline and testosterone. Simply brilliant. And none of that Solid Snake smoking-is-dangerous-please-put-your-cigarettes-in-an-ash-tray health crap either - Sam, Vanquish's protagonist, actually has a smoking button, and when you press it he takes a single drag and then discards the cigarette over his shoulder nonchalantly, only to light a new one the next time you press it. That's two fingers up to the environment, to the NHS and to the recession with one push of a button. If you press square he hosts a cock fight**.

Alright, finally finally, good luck to our Trev, who's left 24HG-UK to pursue his own blog, which I'll provide a link to when it's ready. And check out a couple of new blogs doing the rounds: the awesome 'Square Eyes. Arthritic Thumbs' and the rant-tastic Nerd Kitten that had me laughing my arse off. See you in another three months.

*I didn't actually forget to shit for 12 weeks, it's a figure of speech.
**Nah, they wouldn't get away with that. Only really hardcore M-rated games can do that. Like Pokemon.

Puff the magic Dragon lived by the sea, and frolicked in the Autumn mist in a land called Honalee

2011-04-11T20:34:00.000+01:00

Overtly, for me anyway, 2011 is the year of the Fighting Game. With Mortal Kombat, Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and BlazBlue: Continuum Shift, it's definitely the best year for the genre in a long time. But if you sift through the fisticuffs, there's also an abundance of a genre fast becoming one of my favourites: The Western RPG. Coming to a crescendo with the mighty (we all know it's going to be amazing, why even speculate?) Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim later in the year, we've got lesser beasts such as Two Worlds II, Arcania: Gothic IV and Divinity II: The Dragon Knight Saga to tide us over. But, while they might be met by the eyes of the masses as mediocre shadows of the upcoming social-life-destroyer, one game still stands strong.

That game, for those still paying attention, is the sequel to Bioware's epic, official 24HG Game of the Year 2009, Dragon Age: Origins; Dragon Age... er... II.

Set almost immediately after the first game, DAII sees you in the shoes of a Blight refugee known as Hawke (who can be male or female and have any first name you choose, but must be human. The Dragon Age Commander Shepard if you will), trying to rebuild his/her life in a foreign city after his/her former home was destroyed by the pesky Darkspawn, bumping into lusty Pirates, surly warrior-giants and the most pleasant blood-mage (an art in the DA canon where a mage bonds with a demon to boost their own powers, basically the classic view of satanism) you'll ever meet along the way.

But the thing is, that's it. The story never really goes anywhere, you just waltz into a city, pick up the compulsory rag-tag band of misfits and generally doss around doing stuff for people, and then shit suddenly hits the fan and it's over. And while we're focusing on the negative points, DAII is one of the laziest games I've played in a while. There's only one (admittedly expansive) city and a small handful of wilderness areas, as opposed to the wide variety of settings in the original. The city is littered with warehouses to explore, and each is identical to the last, the same goes for the wilderness and caves, and it makes for some incredibly repetitive gameplay. They've also not bothered with the finishing moves in combat this time, just opting to have your enemies fall apart when you kill them, and while this looked alright in Fallout 3 where the limbs would sever in the middle of a thigh or below the shoulder, leaving a jagged rip in the flesh, DAII's enemies fall into smooth segments, like when you shoot somebody with the grenade launcher in Tomb Raider II. And that looked shit 14 years ago.

But aside from that, the game really excels. The visuals have improved no end over the washed out, low res textures of Origins, to the point that they could even be considered impressive. The combat system has been refined, sped up and simplified in the right areas, and crucially been made real-time in the console releases, and your party members, much like in Mass Effect 2, have been given much more individuality in their appearance (be it Pirate lady of ill repute Isabella's swashbuckling gear or emo elf Fenris' lyrium tattoos). They also have a lot more unique abilities, in Origins your two mages, Wynn and Morrigan, could end up playing exactly the same, or even have their roles reversed should you choose to do so. In DAII, Anders is a designated healer, Merril is a damage dealer and Bethany is an all-rounder.

Mentioning Anders and Merril brings me to my next point, there's a lot here for the nostalgic. Anders himself is now possessed by the spirit Justice, both of which were party members in Dragon Age: Awakening (they were actually my two favourite characters in the game, but now they are one person they, or rather he, seems to have become a self righteous prick), and Merril was a temporary party member in Origins if the player followed the Dalish Elf storyline. Anyone who played the demo will have come face to face with the Dragon-morphing witch of the wilds Flemeth too, sporting a sassy new look, and a bunch of other familiar faces also show up, but I won't ruin things for you there.

I don't like ending things on a low point (once again, as with last week's Dead Space 2 review, I seem to have unwillingly slated the game), DAII does have the 'can't put down' factor and is the closest thing to a Game of the Year for me so far in 2011, but it throws a big middle finger skywards when it comes to consistency in it's continuity. A lot of the races have altered, take the elves for example. In the last game they were just people with pointy ears, and spoke unanimously with an American accent. They are now much smaller and are painfully thin, and their facial structures have changed to resemble the blue guys from Avatar, and while the city elves still retain the Yankee lilt, the wild dalish elves have adopted an Irish tongue (apart from Merril, who is voiced by the unquestionably Welsh Eve Myles, star of BBC's Doctor Who spin-off Torchwood). The Qunari have also metamorphosed beyond recognition, from basically being black guys with white hair in Origins to their new look, resembling Kain from Soul Reaver. It's natural progression as a higher budget is available, I fully understand that (look at the Klingon in Star Trek after all), but for someone like me with borderline OCD over details like this, it kinda twists my melon.

Overall though, it's a great game, more suited to a console gamer than it's elder. But, under the mocking eye of the behemoth that is the upcoming Skyrim, Bioware really shouldn't have cut quite so many corners.

Am I following all of the right leads, or am I about to get lost in space?

2011-04-04T21:26:00.000+01:00

I've decided on a self-imposed gaming hiatus, in a bid to free up some time to get this site up to date, so I'll hopefully be posting quite a bit in the coming week or so. There's so much shit I want to write about, and it seems that every time I fire up a console something is added to the list, so there comes a time when one just has to sit back, catch a breath and put pen to paper, so to speak.

I'll start with Dead Space 2 I guess, it was the first game I played during the 2011 annual laptop disaster so it's only fair. I was extremely late to the party with the first Dead Space, not only picking it up late but developing an irrational hatred of it about a third of the way in (I think I was intimidated by the apparent difficulty of the game at first, it seemed like ammo was very short in supply and the enemies just keep on coming, but things loosened off a bit later on) and shelving it. I corrected myself a few months ago and discovered what an absolute joy the game was to play.

Dead Space 2 then, is more of the same in terms of gameplay. I opted for the PS3 version for the perks of Dragon Age II DLC, Free Dead Space Extraction and not having to swap the disks, and I kinda regret this choice. Firstly, the controls are far better suited to the 360 pad, the chunkiness seems to fit with the way Isaac moves on screen. Playing the game in daylight (I only have a 360 in the boudoir) subtracted from the horror of the experience, Extraction is virtually unplayable without a Move controller, and to top it all off the DAII DLC is non-console specific, linking to your EA account and not through the PSN store or XBL Marketplace.

I suppose the biggest difference to the prequel is that Isaac, the main series' alien-zombie stomping protagonist, now has a voice, and consequentially refuses to shut the hell up. And suddenly this silent sentinel, this extension of your own psyche stuck in a deep-space hell filled with terrifying (albeit overly brittle) perversions of nature, suddenly has his own personality. And boy oh boy, is he a cock. He's informal, macho and at times bratty, totally the opposite of the Gordon Freeman archetype silent scientist, and what that conjures in the imagination.

But it's still a great game though, these aspects only lightly tarnish the refined Resident Evil 4 style engine, and the incomplex but engaging narrative. Being set in a colonial space-station set out like a city, as opposed to the Space Hulk/Nostromo/Discovery One/Red Dwarf hybrid of the first, the Bioshock similarities of the first (the uninterrupted gameplay and Isaac's aesthetic reminded me of 2K's opus the first time around) seem all the more apparent: echoes of Rapture are everywhere. There's also a bit of Silent Hill thrown in with cliched trips through a hospital and school, the latter throwing some relatively unmutated child-like monsters that could have been ripped right from the foggy ghost town itself if I didn't know better.

So original Dead Space 2 isn't. Visceral aren't really known for their originality though, Dante's Inferno anyone? There are a few new enemies and a couple of new mechanics, such as hacking minigames and being able to blow out a window to suck enemies into space, before closing it again before the vacuum consumes you (A bit like on Star Wars: The Force Unleashed actually), but it's mostly just a refined version of the original, gameplay wise anyway. I read somewhere that the game reminds the writer of Resident Evil 2, in that it's just like the original but bigger and better in every way, and I think that just about sums it up. Although as far as I'm concerned, Dead Space is still superior to it's sequel. Same goes for Resident Evil actually.

Mortal Kombat then. I've absolutely caned the demo since it became available to the masses the other week and to say I'm excited is like saying Hitler was a bit of an arsehole. The thing that is immediately apparent, once you've taken in the unrivalled violence and brutality anyway, is just how unique the game is; since the 2D fighting game revival we've seen Street Fighter IV, Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and BlazBlue as the most dominant in the genre, and as far as first impressions count, all three of those are very similar experiences. Mortal Kombat still retains the feel of the series since Deadly Alliance, matching speed and fluidity with character-specific combos and signiature moves. The new X-Ray moves are wince-inducing too (Johnny Cage's actually made me want to go and have a little cry), and although easy to pull off, they require some expert timing; performing such a move consumes (sorry, konsumes) a full special bar, and they are very easy to evade it seems.

Finally, we've got the fatalities. It's been 5 years since we've had a real, true Mortal Kombat game (Mortal Kombat: Armageddon), and even that didn't have true fatality moves. 2008's Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe was toned down to achieve a teen rating at the request of Warner Interactive, so said moves were far less grotesque, and as a result we've been starved of the privilege of a satisfying way to murder our aggressors since Mortal Kombat: Deception in 2004, seven whole years ago. The sheer brutality of the finishers on offer here makes it worth the wait. If the whole game maintains this level of intense violence and joyous gameplay, then the Mortal Kombat series is back where it belongs, as the second-best fighting game franchise on the market. Flawless Victory.

2011-03-30T22:05:00.000+01:00

Still Alive! Laptop took a bit longer than I would have liked to get repaired, I touched on the late collection by the courier last time I posted. Well, after it was collected a week late, another 10 days later they sent the fucker back untouched, claiming that the damage wasn't covered by the warranty (I did have a look in the warranty booklet, and indeed accidental damage is not covered, which gave them a small point in their favour until I realised that they'd given my a Hewlett Packard warranty booklet when my laptop is a Packard Bell machine, derp), despite the fact that they knew what was wrong with it before it even left my house. And to top it all off, some pikeys got hold of our details from the Curry's system and called us twice trying to rob us.

So I ended up getting an independent repair company to do it for me at my own expense, although I won't divulge how much here because they guy was really helpful and did a great job, and, let's be fair, gave me my life back after about 5 weeks of being bored and having to use the Internet browser on my Nokia N97. Moral of the story: don't buy anything from Curry's, they're arseholes.

So, with the gap in posting, where do I start? I've got Dead Space 2, Dragon Age II, Diabolik: The Original Sin, Bionic Commando and Killzone 3 behind me with Red Steel 2, Wii Sports Resort and Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit in progress. I also wanted to talk about the fantastic Mortal Kombat demo and the not-so-fantastic Motorstorm: Apocalypse demo, a small anecdote about BlazBlue and maybe a mini unboxing of the Killzone 3 Helghast Edition. Thanks to a bonus from work I've also got Two Worlds II, Doctor Who: Return to Earth, Dead Space: Extraction (both versions in fact), Prince of Persia Trilogy, LittleBigPlanet 2, Bulletstorm, Arcania: Gothic 4 and Motorstorm: Arctic Edge all lined up for the coming weeks.

It's also been my 26th birthday in the last week, which has allowed me to upgrade my personal gadgetry with the Samsung Galaxy Player MP3 player and the HTC HD7 mobile phone, powered respectively by Android OS and Windows Phone 7, and both respectable gaming platforms in their own right, especially the phone, which is XBox Live compatible and plays a bunch of XBLA games, achievements and all. That's still on it's way to me though, but watching gameplay videos of Need for Speed: Undercover, Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles HD and Earthworm Jim HD have me very much excited. So it's all go at 24HG towers at the moment.

I suppose I'll start with the games that haven't left enough of an impression with me, less to write about, so I can get more in. Diabolik: The Original Sin wins the prize for the most aptly titled game ever, as playing the point-and-click crapfest was like spending a short time in hell. The graphics are piss-poor, like a high-end PS1 game, the voice acting is primary-school-nativity standard and the logic of some of the puzzles is frankly baffling, and this is from a man who finished Secret Files: Tunguska. Finally, the inventory system is terrible, especially with the copious arsenal of gadgets that your protagonist is equipped with before you even start. Diabolik? 'Dire bollocks'.

Bionic Commando wasn't much better, combining a bog-standard shooter with a rubbish version of the PS1 Spider-Man games. The visuals are nice, a bit Metal Gear Solid 4 reminiscent, but that's the only redeeming feature about the dull, uninvolving game. If you want to fly about on a grappling hook, Just Cause 2 does it better. Come to think of it, it does shooting and melee combat better too, and a ton of other things that Bionic Commando doesn't even attempt. What was I talking about again?

I'm going to leave it there for now, but I'll probably post again before the end of the week with a more in-depth look at some of the bigger games I've played. I think Trev's working on a new video too, so it's business as usual again here at 24HG. See you soon.

Nobody touches Oghren's junk and lives!

2011-03-08T11:00:00.000Z

Apologies for the quiet spell, my Laptop's gone the way of Old Yeller, and while I'm waiting for the good people of Curry's to repair it for me under warranty (postponed by a week thanks to the efforts of the workshy courier who was supposed to pick it up last week and claims I wasn't home and that he left a card, despite not seeming to have noticed that I live in a flat and not a house), I'm left without the benefit of the Internet. So I'm just checking in using the missuss' Vaio again, mainly to explain why I've already broken my weekly post promise, but also so I haven't got too much to write about when I do get my machine back in a couple of weeks.

Firstly, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening. Thanks to the lack of the Internet's temptations to while away hours staring at Memebase or YouTube, I was able to polish this off in under two days. It's a hell of a lot more fast-paced and a damn-sight easier than the base game, and if anything the story is a lot more gripping, and the characters (of which only the Dwarf Oghren returns) are definitely more interesting and charismatic, from the dry wit of an apostate Mage on the run from Templar oppressors to a benevolent spirit trapped in the body of a fallen Grey Warden (for those out of the loop, the Grey Wardens are an elite band of warriors, like Spectres are to Mass Effect, or the Blades to Oblivion). Every party member you recruit becomes a Grey Warden this time around, but that only makes me ask myself why nobody took the oath in the base game, when Wardens were at their most needed and in very short supply?

My main problem with it is that the story is a little too similar to the Legion/Geth side-story in Mass Effect 2, just as the Origins story is very reminiscent of the main story in the first Mass Effect. I hope Dragon Age 2 shows a bit more originality and individuality. Speaking of which, I've played the demo on the PS3, and am glad to report that the combat system, as well as being a lot more fast-paced, is completely real-time in the console versions, which is excellent. The graphics have also seen a major improvement, so that's both of my least-favourite aspects of the original addressed. By the time I next post, I'll have had some time with the full game, so I'll hold my tongue until then.

Split/Second has reached the inevitable point in all racing games (apart from R4, which I was genuinely good at) where it becomes too difficult for me (other racers were using Burnout tactics and ramming me off the road, as well as blowing me up at every opportunity), so I returned to Divinity II, and came to the conclusion that the game is complete, undiluted shite. The gameplay, graphics, voice-acting and everything, top notch. But about 8 hours in, three quarters of the map become covered in toxic gas, rendering them off-limits for the duration of the rest of the game, which in an open-world RPG is absolute bollocks. Not even Two Worlds pulled that one on me, so I'm back onto trying to 1000gp Bully: Scholarship Edition on the 360.

Finally, this setback has kinda dashed my chances of doing a video review for MVC3, so I'll give a very brief account of how I feel about it. Well, it's a Capcom fighter, so it's obviously technically sound, it is what Capcom does best after all. But the simplified controls, the poor character roster and the ruinous cell-shaded graphics (of which I have never been a fan, they can be used to good effect, like in The Wind Waker, but a lot of the time, as seen here in No More Heroes, they only serve to dilute genuinely great visuals) just push it down in my esteem, and as a result I still see Super Street Fighter IV as it's superior in virtually every way. I also got a feeling that the controls were quite unresponsive, I was failing to pull off moves that I could perform every time in SSFIV or Tatsunoko vs. Capcom, but I don't know if anyone else has noticed this. I do like how some characters interact with each other though, such as Chris Redfield and Wesker, or Magneto and Wolverine.

And to sign off, I've been very quiet about The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim so far. I think this video sums up my feelings on the matter. See you in a couple of weeks.

I'm a 21st Century Digital Boy, I don't know how to read but I got a lot of toys

2011-02-25T11:52:00.000Z

You know how sometimes life hands you a lemon and you make lemonade? Well, gaming-wise anyway, this last week life handed me a bottle of lemonade. Not that cheap shit either, I'm talking 7-Up. With Vodka in it.

Firstly, there's my new friend Dead Space. HMV, in it's infinite quest to make no profit whatsoever, had the Limited Edition of Dead Space 2 (The one with Dead Space: Extraction) on the PS3 marked at £24.99. I've not really had much time on it just yet, so more on that next time.

Secondly, I've upgraded from The Sims 2 to The Sims 3 on the PC. I played it on the PS3 at the tail-end of last year and was very impressed in the open-endedness of what was essentially finally a true Sims game on a console, but as far as it burns me to say it, the PC version is still far superior. Initially there's the mouse controls, instantly accessible to a long time Sims gamer where the Joypad controls seemed overcomplicated and baffling at times.

Then there's the memory limit, restricting how many items you can place in your digital self's home. It's plagued console Sims games since day one, but was always honest about what it was. It the console version of The Sims 3 it was disguised as a fire-hazard meter, a name which made me wonder if it was prevalent in the PC version too. I was very relieved to find it isn't. Then there's the seamless transition between the neighbourhood and house views, eliminating the need for a loading screen, and finally the already copious amount of free user-made costumes and hairstyles available for download, compared with the EA-sanctioned £7.99-price tagged packs on the PSN store, and I kind of wonder why I even bothered with the console version at all.

The only gripe I have with the game itself (other than that obvious things, such as pets and weather effects, have been intentionally left out to make way for expansion packs later on) is that the aesthetics of the characters themselves are a lot more serious looking, away from the over-emotive, hyper-expressive look of The Sims 2's titular heroes, and in turn make them less endearing to me. Plus, every male Sim I try to make ends up looking like Jack Black, and all the women look like Down's Syndrome sufferers, but aside from that it's great. The Sims 2 isn't quite obsolete yet, one of the big thrills of The Sims for me is having multiple households going, and in The Sims 3 you can only have one playable family in each neighbourhood.

The console version isn't different enough from it's PC sibling to warrant owning both, so my second HMV trip saw me re-homing it for £23 of store credit (they were selling the game new for £27 too, it's as if they don't actually want to make a profit), which I put towards Split/Second Velocity on the XBox 360 and BlazBlue: Continuum Shift on the PS3, both of which were on a '2 for £30' offer. Split/Second is excellent, I find myself actually really looking forward to playing it, and by trait I'm not a fan of racing games. It's not as good as Burnout really, but it's still got that same level of over-the-top mayhem, and the adrenaline rush of beating your opponent by two hundredths of a second is incomparable to any other feeling.

I haven't tried BlazBlue yet, but I've heard great things and I was a big fan of it's spiritual predecessor Guilty Gear. I've mainly got it to bridge the gap between the upcoming Mortal Kombat and Marvel vs. Capcom 3: Fate of Two Worlds, which I bought last Friday. I'm not going to say much about MVC3, as I'm building to a video review that I'm hoping to have ready for next week's post. In true fashion though, me and Raz7el had a showdown over PSN, and just like Dead or Alive 4 before it, I tanned him pretty soundly. I'm just trolling you man, we were pretty evenly matched. At least we both looked like we knew how to play, unlike when we stunk at Street Fighter IV over XBox Live.

Deadpool, as well as being a useful character, also provides genuine comedy to the game

And to bring it all to an end this week, I finally finished God of War: Ghost of Sparta on PSP. Without giving away too much, the moral of the story is that nobody gets to kill a member of Kratos' family but Kratos. Otherwise, he just gets angry. Well, angrier.

Demo-lition - Plowing through the Dragon Age 2 demo!

2011-02-24T19:06:00.000Z

Downloaded the Dragon Age 2 demo last night on PC and what can I say, it's Dragon Age but shiny and new!

Started off as a Mage, and this game is A LOT faster let me tell you, within the first 5 minutes I had notched up around 30 Darkspawn kills at least! You can still pause the battle though, so you don't really get overwhelmed, I found it more manageable than DA:O, it just felt smoother giving commands to your party members saying that I didn't have a look at the tactics interface so maybe there will be no need to micromanage your team what so ever if that has been updated too.

Graphics are (Like I said at the start) shiny and new! Effects are more spectacular now, and characters now seem to have emotion on their faces too, plus the main character has............found a voice! I find you get more connected to a main character if they are more animated and involving, instead of just silence when you pick options from a list, in fact you can look at it more like Mass Effect now conversation wise, things aren't so grey anymore as in the first game, you can choose Nice - Funny/Sarcastic - Evil/Aggressive and investigate through conversation trees.........JUST LIKE MASS EFFECT. So you have a main character who has personality, and a beard.

So to sum up, I played the PC version, loved it, no slowdown or glitches that I found, played as a mage and it was very enjoyable. The ONLY problem I had is that everything I killed with my magic just exploded, which is great at first, but when EVERYTHING is exploding, you lose the novelty. Saying that it was the first 5 minutes of the game, and if you play the demo you will understand too that it won't be like that for the whole game.

I have recorded some footage from the demo for your viewing pleasure below, I was going to make it into a video commentary (I am thinking of creating a feature called DEMO-LITION where it is a commentary through a demo, just have to see how it would work) but alas my computer crashed when writing a summary of the review on notepad last night, then this morning when I actually recorded some audio the best describing words I used were "Good" and "Better than the first one" so I scrapped it, I was mucho tired!

Yo Dawg, I know you like Dragon Age II, so if you play Dragon Age II, i'll put more Dragon Age II in your Dragon Age II!

2011-02-19T22:56:00.001Z

So I heard that if 1,000,000 people download the Dragon Age II demo, we all get free stuff for the game when it comes out. So it's win win WIN! Win because you will play the demo, win because you will have the game and WIN because you have free stuff.

Oh Bioware, like you had to bribe us to play the demo...You guys!

Return of the Prodigal Son

2011-02-19T09:11:00.000Z

Hi guys and gals!

Sorry I haven't been here for what must be ages, but someone struck me down, and now I am back more powerful than you can possibly imagine.

I bring to you a gift, a gift of video! Hopefully you will enjoy the first video I have ever made....on the computer!

Let me know what you think, and also ideas on future videos, because damn, this shit is fun!

ENJOY!

In your bedroom at night with the lights off and your headphones on... everyone can hear you scream...

2011-02-18T11:16:00.003Z

Like I said last week, I've grown tired of Fantasy RPGs of late, and felt that the well-above-average Divinity II: The Dragon Knight Saga deserved my attention at a time when I can bestow it fully upon the game. I even tried the simple, accessible Fable II (not a typo, I've just played Fable: The Lost Chapters and intended to play the three of them in sequence), but just couldn't muster the enthusiasm. The heroic adventures of Nobhead (descendant of Arseface) will have to wait.

All the while, the soundtrack to my RPG lethargy came in the form of The Smashing Pumpkins' whingey teen anthem 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings', a song (and band) I absolutely abhor, yet one that worms it's way into your subconscious like the T-Virus. The vessel for this song? The TV advert for Dead Space 2, a game that was so far off my radar it might as well have been Women's Murder Club or something. I've had the original Dead Space for so long, and it must be said I have never liked it, I just haven't ever gotten rid of it because of it's poor monetary value (I bought it for a tenner a couple of years ago, I'd be lucky to get £3 back on a trade-in). The reason for my disdain was the lack of positive reinforcement for your actions as a player, every little thing you did had a negative impact on the story, and every cutscene was just one of your companions telling you to go somewhere and do something, and the other, a bratty annoying bint of a woman, telling you it won't work. Then you do it, and it doesn't work.

But the TV spot for DS2 made me want the game so badly, for no reason other than that I couldn't get Billy Corgan and his group of misfitted pricks out of my head. And I felt like, as it is such a major player in the still fairly niche Survival Horror genre, I should really like it. So Divinity II took a temporary bow and my trusty 360 Elite became the subject of nightmares for a few days. And I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Bulbasaur used Vine-Whip! It's not very effective...

Actually, that's a lie. There's this bit where you have to shoot asteroids out of the sky before they hit you, and that had me on the verge of snapping my controller in two through sheer rage. But apart from that, it was excellent. None too original (Think Half-Life's Gordon Freeman complete with Gravity Gun, fused with Silent Hill 2's James Sunderland, on board Red Dwarf, fighting Zombies, directed by Ridley Scott and you're pretty much there), but that hardly matters when you are so preoccupied with being terrified that you daren't take your finger off the aim button to press a switch. Later in the game, the developers seemed to have forgotten that the game was supposed to be scary, with the whole endgame taking place in broad daylight, but that's just cleverly there to lure you into a false sense of security before chucking the ending at you, which had everyone I've spoken to who's finished the game collectively shit their pants.

So I'm on board for DS2 now. I'll no doubt pick it up in a month or so, I was planning on getting the 360 version to continue my night terrors, but the prospect of a single disk, a free copy of Dead Space Extraction and some armour for Dragon Age II (which my wife is to purchase on the PS3), I'm being swayed to the PS3 version, but I'll see. Speaking of Dragon Age, the Archdemon finally fell last night. I've got Awakening, Witch Hunt and The Golems of Amgarrak to do before DAII, but for the minute I'm enjoying the light-hearted and simple Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

Here at 24HG, if you ask us what the manliest game in the world is, chances are you'd be told Ghost Squad. Sega's Wii Shooter does have you high-five the President after rescuing him from the clutches of an evil homosexual terrorist after all. but this week it's been surpassed by... EA's girl-friendly casual gaming champion The Sims 2?

Now, Ghost Squad may be manly. But it will never be Pyramid Head, Kratos, Barry Burton and The Punisher in a Hot Tub talking about Baseball manly.

Finally, I was asked over Formspring what I have against Bayonetta. Good question. One that I will answer the next time I don't have anything better to do, like oh, go and buy Marvel vs. Capcom 3, which is what I'm going to do right now. Bye for now.

The Fate of Two Worlds...

2011-02-09T11:03:00.000Z

No, I haven't got my grubby paws on an early copy of Marvel vs. Capcom 3, before you ask, you'll have to wait another two weeks for that. The title is in fact referring to the game, Two Worlds II, and it's fate, the reason it got pushed back again, as detailed here. This is the latest (although arguably unavoidable) setback in a long line, which keeps pushing the UK release further and further back, slowly earning the reportedly redeemed and quite well-received by critics sequel the same kind of laughing-stock reputation of the first. The release date of Two Worlds II (or Two Worlds Forever as some people have started calling it) now rests tentatively on the 25th of February, but if I was going to get any game that day it would be Killzone 3, or failing that The Conduit 2. Two Worlds II wouldn't get a look in. As it happens I'm going to hoover all three of them up (Plus LBP2 and maybe a couple of minor games) come April, when my real job grants me my end-of-financial-year bonus.

So, I took all of my TWII money (all £32.89 of it) and skipped merrily off to Blockbuster like a gay (happy) child on pocket money day, determined not to be left gameless on this dark day. Ten minutes later I left the shop with chief Two Worlds substitute Divinity II: The Dragon Knight Saga on 360 for £19.95, Bionic Commando on PS3 and Diabolik: The Original Sin on Wii for £4.95 each and Sega Superstars Tennis on 360 for the bargain price of £2.95, with 9p change and a feeling of relief for having something new to play.

The only game I've had a go on so far is Divinity II, which is very good but hard going. Happily in the middle between the expansive, open world Oblivion and the closed in areas of Fable, DII sees you in the boots of a Dragon Slayer hunting the last of the Dragon Knights, powerful beings with the ability to take the form of a Dragon. The Dragon Knight, in her dying breath, transforms you into one yourself, and teaches you of their apparently noble quest to save the world from the demonic 'Damian' (original name for a demon).

I'll admit, I'm still getting to grips with the game, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. The levelling up process is simple, gain XP from killing enemies and completing quests and pile them into different aspects (as a warrior I'm diverting it all into Strength and Health, but there's also things like Magic and Archery), then level up a particular skill, like dual-wielding or regenerating health. The only problem I'm having is with the difficulty spikes, one minute I'm wading through enemies taking barely a scratch as they crumble beneath me, the next I'm dead at the hands of a single Goblin, because he's two levels ahead of me. I think I'm a bit tuckered out by fantasy RPGs at the minute though, I'm still plodding through Dragon Age, so maybe Divinity will have to be moved a bit further down my pile to be rejoined at a later date.

So that's that then. I've been in talks with my cohort Trev, who will be returning to the site imminently, and both of us are working on some exciting new features for the site. We'll keep you posted. Once again, please 'like' us on our Facebook page, there's not only news about the blog there but news about our friend's sites and blog postings and general gaming news. See you later.

No trust, all I got is lies, boring, alright...

2011-02-02T11:51:00.001Z

Once more, such is the peril of playing RPGs, I haven't had time to play anything new and interesting. In fact, I only finished Fable last night, and I'm still knee-deep in Dragon Age, my newly acquired Angry Birds addiction has further hampered my productivity.

To avoid abandoning my weekly schedule and slipping again, like I did last year, I began planning this week's post almost immediately after uploading the last one. I had thought of possibly doing a 'what if?' post, detailing games I would like to see, however unlikely (my favourite of which being Batman: Shattered Dimensions), But scrapped that as the list became dominated with crossover fighting games. Then I had the idea of a look into the upcoming games that excite me, which initially seemed like a great choice, until I realised that between Mortal Kombat, Uncharted 3, Mass Effect 3 and Skyrim, I could write and speculate for about a week without even considering the other impending releases.

I've been thinking about what I would consider Game of the Year for the years before I started this blog, so I decided to try my hand at Game of the Decade, taking the single best games from each year and ranking them against each other, only to abandon the idea when some of the games I wanted to include were far outshone by better but more obvious and boring games released in the same year, case in point: Animal Crossing and The Sims 2 were both released in 2004, unfortunately the same year as GTA: San Andreas. Piss. It was going to go to Oblivion anyway.

All is not lost though, I finally got around to downloading the Kane and Lynch and Legacy of Kain character packs for Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, which were simultaneously better and worse than I thought they'd be, if such a thing is possible.

They failed to live up to my expectations in regards to how they operate. You can't just use the character to your content, pairing up Lara with Raziel, or, amusingly, Kain and Lynch. Kain and Raziel have to be together, Kane and Lynch have to be together, Lara and Totec have to be together. I was also hoping the characters might play differently, like the Vampires having their respective Reaver swords and being able to use Telekinesis, but to be honest I expected reskins of Lara and Totec and wasn't too underwhelmed when that's all I got.

But the great thing about the character packs is that they aren't just reskins. They have their own stories, which is why they can't be paired off with other characters. Starting a new game plays the ending from the main campaign, cleverly spoiler-free, as Lara bids farewell to Totec after a job well done and comments that the ruins she's leaving behind will likely never be found again. Famous last words, as the fantasy realm of Nosgoth shares an identical temple, and a meddling duo of Vampires once again releases the villainous Xolotl, who drags them to Earth with him, meaning that they must work together to return to their homeland. Or, if you like, Death Row's favourite miscreants Kane and Lynch will stumble on the temple a meager two days after Lara's departure, once again unleashing the demon unto the world, and adopting the heroic role to save the day.

The characters are fully voiced, bringing back the iconic double-act of Simon Templeman and Micheal Bell as Kain and Raziel, and Brian Bloom and Jarion Monroe are back as Kane and Lynch. There's also an air of humour to the game too, as every sentence that spews from the mouth of Kane or Lynch is littered with bleeped-out expletives for comedy effect, and Kain and Raziel's introduction is instigated with the Star Wars style line: 'Meanwhile, in another world... And kind of in the past...'. Made me chuckle anyway.

I personally can't wait to play through the LoK story, it's the closest I'm going to get to a new Legacy of Kain game for a while anyway. I'm a bit disappointed that they just re-used the character models from Legacy of Kain: Defiance, I was hoping to see how a proper, current generation Kain might look. Oh well, when it comes to being a Legacy of Kain fanboy, you get what you're given.

Last off, a glance to the right will show you our new Facebook page. Be sure to 'like' us on there. See you guys soon.

See, I knocked up this hot woman friend of ours that I fuck on the side so as to not be all the way gay, but my tubby husband here is 100% queer. He LOVES the cock.

2011-01-28T10:40:00.002Z

Firstly, sorry about the late post. Truth be told, I've not really had anything to write about, all I've played in the last couple of weeks is Dragon Age: Origins - Ultimate Edition on PS3 and Fable: The Lost Chapters on the XBox 360, with the magic of backwards compatibility.

Dragon Age, I've gushed about enough really. My only new discovery this time through was the incredible 'Arcane Warrior' class for Wynne, effectively turning her into a battlemage that can not only heal my companions and myself, but she can also now don armour and a blade instead of firing that piddly little staff from afar, limiting herself to elemental attacks and fearing the inevitable badass enemy harbouring an immunity to the chosen element. If anything it was a relief to get her creaky old bones out of those hideously inappropriate mages' robes that I think were possibly designed for Morrigan. It was like having Kim Cattrall in the party. Uncomfortable.

Speaking of uncomfortable, in my quest for Trophies I decided to explore every romantic option for my male Grey Warden, which inevitably led me to the open tent of the Hispanic bisexual man whore elf, Zevran. Where the heterosexual and indeed the sapphic sex scenes in Dragon Age were very tasteful and gracefully made, well, there's nothing graceful about two male elves licking eachothers' nipples and, erm, 'sneaking in through the fire exit'. My character didn't even look to be particularly enjoying it. And so, for the second time (my first being the achievement for kissing boys in Bully), my reluctant homosexuality is recognised in a videogame.

Enough about that. Fable. Fable still holds up really well, the graphics are still great just as long as you excuse the close ups on the faces and the story and system are still accessible yet fresh enough to not be boring. Also, the magic system is a lot more in-depth than that of it's sequels, although when it comes to games of that nature I'm a sword-and-armour guy through and through. Well, sword, axe, club, warhammer, lump of wood with a nail in it (Final Fantasy VII for those who thought I was exaggerating on the last one). And it's very notable that I'm still finding new things out about the game so long after it's release, last night I became the Mayor of Bowerstone for the first time ever, after finally being bothered to investigate the villainous Lady Grey. Not exactly in the same league as becoming king in Fable III, but I got a nice big house out of it.

In other news, I finally remembered to try out the demo for Divinity II: The Dragon Night Saga, and quite enjoyed it. It merges the visual style of Sacred 2 with the combat of Fable and some of the more forgivable parts of Two Worlds (Speaking of which, I've tentatively put a preorder down on Two Worlds II for release next week, wish me luck), only with far better voice acting than the former and latter. And as a bonus the game comes packaged with it's expansion pack too, so I can probably see myself picking it up in my March/April spree.

I also downloaded the demo for Faery: Legends of Avalon on the PS3, which immediately took me back to my teens, when the demo disks on the Official Playstation Magazines had full games that users had created on the using Net Yaroze, a simplified PS1 developers' kit that was released commercially. One title, Terra Incognita, was a Zelda inspired RPG, and, for it's poor translation and sometimes awkward controls, the charm of this quaint game reeled me in at the time. A few years back, while toying with homebrew on my PSP before Sony cracked down on piracy, I discovered somebody had ported the game across, much to my delight. But I digress.

Faery has that same appeal, scruffy, poorly translated and unpolished but my god is it trying so hard to worm it's way into my affections. The main twist on this RPG is that you are completely airborne, flying around as fairies do with your wings. The conversation is ripped straight from Mass Effect, with dialogue choices on a wheel and even blue and red choices for if you want to please or antagonise people. There's even an option for a romance within the game. It's not all Bioware fanboyism though, the fights are traditional turn-based affairs, like in the Final Fantasy and Breath of Fire games of old. I enjoyed it, but I don't know if I want to spend £11.99 on the full game (says a lot about digital downloads really, when I'm willing to pay £35 for Two Worlds II having already been stung by it's prequel). We'll see. Truth be told though, I'm not much of a fan of the fantasy genre, and with this, Divinity II, Two Worlds II, Dragon Age II, Skyrim and possibly Gothic IV: Arcania if it ever comes out, I don't want to overdo it and hamper my enjoyment of any of them.

And finally, Angry Birds. I've seen the game played on both my wife's iPhone and Raz7el's Android powered HTC, but until last night had never had the thing in my clammy paws, so I downloaded the PSP Mini version from the PSN Store. Just thought I'd try it out for a second before transferring it over to my PSP, and was still sat there like an hour later. It's absolute gaming Heroin, impossible to put down. Brings to mind a discussion that Raz7el and I had around the water cooler one day, that the Pigs, Angry Birds' prime antagonists are stealing the Birds' eggs, effectively moving in on their territory and raping them of their resources, and the Birds respond to this by, well, suicide bombing them and flying into their buildings. Hmm... So with that, I'm off. Managed to write a fair bit in the end, despite not having anything to write about...

My top 10 games of 2010!

2011-01-18T17:02:00.003Z

Foregoing the 2010 roundup (I'm going to stop unveiling my plans in advance, because I never keep them) as I found that writing about 27 different games and keeping the post down to a 'light read' size was proving difficult, I'm moving on to the official 24HG top 10 games of 2010! The only games that I've been halfway bothered about playing that have eluded my grasp last year are BlazBlue and CoD: Black Ops, but I doubt that either would have dented the list in any way (I do love fighting games but have trouble adjusting to new systems, and CoD really isn't my thing).

2010 has been an absolutely amazing year for games. I've revised this list a number of times, because the consistently great videogame experiences throughout the year, coupled with my tendency to back the underdog, have made choosing incredibly difficult. I think I've got it down though. So as with any great ranking list, I'll start from the bottom.

10: Silent Hill: Shattered Memories - Climax Studios - Wii (PSP, PS2)

Shattered Memories was a game I played early in the year, close to it's release, and spent the rest of the year clinging on to the hope that there weren't that many games that beat it, because it deserves honouring too much. I know the number 10 spot suggests that I did take pity and slap it in regardless, but the game it beat to get this far was Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, and it is doubtless a much better game. Forgetting the Resident Evil inspired gameplay of the series so far, and adopting a Heavy Rain-esque approach to the series, this re-imagining of the original white-knuckle terror-fest succeeded in not only being the best Silent Hill games ever, but also one of the greatest Wii games to date. I just hope they can work the magic again with Silent Hill: Downpour this year, Homecoming was a travesty.

9: Darksiders - Vigil Games - PS3 (360, PC)

Darksiders is cruelly lumped in the 'God of War Clone' category too often, when in reality it takes the best bits from so many games and mashes them together into one expansive, original and utterly gorgeous work of art. Taking cues from Zelda, Soul Reaver, Fable, Portal and more, and throwing in a Mark Hamill led voice cast, Darksiders was something of a surprise for me, and had me hooked to the very end, despite the difficulty. An absolute must play, if you haven't already. It can be scooped up for less than a tenner now, you've no excuse.

8: Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - MercurySteam/Kojima Productions - PS3 (360)

Before I get into the gameplay, LoS is by far the best looking multi-platform game there is. Reportedly no texture in the game was reused, making each new scene look breathtaking and fresh, also accounting for the game spilling over onto a second DVD on the 360 version. But aside from being a visual masterpiece, the game is also an incredible experience, bolstered by the strong double-act of Patrick Stewart (who's Oblivion references are hilarious) and Robert Carlyle providing the major characters' voices. The only thing holding it back is that the developers don't seem to have mastered the GoW formula in the way that others have, as the story and rebooted mythos have me craving more and the ending was phenomenal in the eyes of a gamer still pining for more Legacy of Kain.

7: Enslaved: Odyssey to the West - Ninja Theory - PS3 (360)

Bland at first, this Uncharted meets (once again) God of War soon becomes a masterpiece in storytelling and the importance of companionship. A retelling of the classic Chinese fable 'Journey to the West' (or the TV show 'Monkey' if you're a Sun reader), Enslaved puts you into the shoes of a loner known as Monkey as he is forced to escort a young girl named Tripitaka through a post-apocalyptic New York, all the while evading marauding robots and slavers. Led by the fantastic Andy Serkis, it's the unfolding narrative that pushed the game strongly into my affections, and it draws upon the tried and tested (yet surprisingly underused) Boy-meets-girl, blossoming friendship mechanic, as seen in the likes of Ico, Prince of Persia and to a lesser extent Resident Evil 4, which really endears you to the characters.

6: God of War III - Santa Monica Studio - PS3

And so the game that the last three have been leading up to... There's little to say about this game other than it carries on the solid gameplay of the first two games in the series (why fix something that isn't broken), augmenting it with breathtaking visuals and the most epic cutscenes and boss battles ever witnessed. Kratos is at his brutal best (some of the executions are stomach-churning to say the least) and this 'conclusion' to the story never once disappoints. I'm almost willing to put money on him making a comeback soon though, away from prequels and cameos, especially after the ominous ending.

5: Fable III - Lionhead Studios - 360

What came at first a slight disappointment at the changes made from the previous games in the series became a magical adventure that reeled me in like the original did years ago. With a refined combat system and a star-studded British cast with the likes of Stephen Fry, Simon Pegg and Jonathan Ross, the charming world of Albion has finally reached the industrial age, and tyrannical rule from a renegade King necessitates a revolution - and that's where you come in. Plenty of quests (every character in the game has the potential to send you on at least one quest, however simple), with far more variety than the last game, will provide the would-be adventurer with many a sleepless night, and the choices you have to make are far more impacting than any game before it. A 100% improvement over Fable II.

4: Red Dead Redemption - RockStar San Diego/RockStar North - PS3 (360)

I'll admit, the whole 'Cowboys and Indians' thing kind of put me off at first, and on their joint release day I opted to go out and buy Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands instead, but a few weeks later I subsided and my wife, in all her pity, bought me a copy of Red Dead. If I only had to say one thing about this game, it's this: IT'S BETTER THAN GTAIV. More likable characters, a more interesting open world, an even more shocking and emotive ending and more of the familiar RockStar humour and self parody make the game one of the most immersive and expansive titles this year. Couple this with the crazy-enough-to-work Undead Nightmare DLC that came out later in the year and you are on to an absolute winner. GTA needs an Undead Nightmare too though.

3: Mass Effect 2 - BioWare - 360 (PC)

The sequel to one of the best games of this generation came and, while it oversimplified the system and took the story in a direction that I wasn't too comfortable with initially, it still completely blew me and the collective gaming community away. The fact that it was the very first game I bought last year and it still holds such a prestigious place in the list is a testament to it's quality, and the fact that BioWare managed to make every single decision made in the first game impact the events of the second was nothing short of ingenuity. Looking back, the only thing I can think of that hampers the game is that the cast of characters aren't as fresh and emotive as those in the last game, and of the two that do return, why pick Tali? She's boring as hell. Still, incredible game, but with a sequel out later this year, I just hope EA can resist making it a yearly franchise.

2: Heavy Rain - Quantic Dream - PS3

Love it or hate it, you can't ignore the fact that there isn't a game in the world quite like Heavy Rain. Amazing graphics, a thrilling and brutally mature storyline and an outcome that nobody saw coming all make for a completely unmatched gaming experience, as down on his luck dad Ethan Mars struggles to find his abducted son Shaun, with the help of an investigative journalist, an aging private detective and Fox Mulder. The only problem I had with the game was with Mulder's magic future glasses, which dragged the sombre and engrossing story kicking and screaming back out of the realm of realism every time he put them on.

1: Fallout: New Vegas - Obsidian - 360 (PS3, PC)

Yeah, so what? So it isn't as good as Fallout 3, well, neither are Heavy Rain, Mass Effect 2, Red Dead Redemption or REAL LIFE. Granted, FNV is absolutely infested with bugs, but not a single one made the game unplayable in my experience (well, apart from the one that corrupted all of my saves, but I only lost out on a few hours play), and it isn't a Bethesda RPG if it hasn't got more than it's fare share of glitches. Truth be told, no other game this year has swallowed up quite so many of my gaming hours all year. A lot of people were expecting more from the game, but it delivered exactly what I wanted: more of Fallout 3. The new party system was easy to follow too, and with such great companions (I opted for the robot dog/schizophrenic old lady trapped in the body of a Super Mutant combination) the fun was endless. Sure, getting stuck in the ground every so often is a bit of a ball-ache, but as long as you save often there's no problem. And if I learnt anything from Oblivion and Fallout 3, it's SAVE OFTEN.

So there you have it, I can hear the cries of disgust at my choices already. Ah well, life goes on. Looking to the future I can already predict that next year is going to see Bethesda snaffle the top spot again with the delicious-looking Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim on the horizon, backed up by future classics such as Uncharted 3, Dragon Age II, Mass Effect 3 and dare I say Mortal Kombat? Who knows? I'm looking forward to finding out, that's for sure...

And for those wondering where their games were, here's the rest of the games I played in 2010, in ranking order:

11. Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light - Crystal Dynamics - PS3 (360, PC, iOS)
12. The Sims 3 - Visceral Games - PS3 (360)
13. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood - Ubisoft - PS3 (360)
14. Bioshock 2 - 2K Marin - 360 (PS3, PC)
15. God of War: Ghost of Sparta - Ready at Dawn Studios - PSP
16. Alpha Protocol - Obsidian - PS3 (360, PC)
17. ModNation Racers - United Front Games - PS3 (PSP)
18. Perfect Dark - RARE - 360
19. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands - Ubisoft - PS3 (360)
20. Tatsunoko vs. Capcom - Capcom - Wii
21. Limbo - Playdead Studios - 360
22. Alan Wake - Remedy Entertainment - 360
23. Super Street Fighter IV - Capcom - PS3 (360)
24. Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock - Neversoft - 360 (PS3, Wii)
25. Dante's Inferno - Visceral Games - PS3 (360, PSP)
26. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands - Ubisoft - Wii
27. Just Cause 2 - Eidos - PS3 (360, PC)
28. Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions - Beenox - 360 (PS3, Wii, PC)
29. Halo: Reach - Bungee - 360
30. Dead to Rights: Retribution - Volatile Games - PS3 (360)
31. Star Wars: The Force Unleashed II - LucasArts - 360 (PS3, PC, Wii)
32. Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker - Kojima Productions - PSP
33. Batman: The Brave and the Bold - Wayforward Technologies - Wii (DS)
34. GoldenEye - Eurocom - Wii
35. Metro 2033 - 4A Games - 360 (PC)
36. Bayonetta - Platinum Games - 360 (PS3)
37. The Whispered World - Daedalic Entertainment - PC

A look back: My top 10 games of 2009

2011-01-14T10:42:00.002Z

I said I'd repost it, so I've dug it from the depths of Videogame Space and slapped it on here for your pleasure. Note that I hadn't played Assassin's Creed II by this point, and that would have nestled nicely in third place, and in my disorganisation I'd forgotten about the release of the epic Street Fighter IV somehow, which would probably have slid in nicely between Batman and Killzone 2. Tekken 6 wouldn't have placed higher than Borderlands, so with the other two additions isn't really worth mentioning. I assure you, I've been working on 2010's GOTY since the first of January, so there will be no schoolboy errors this time around. So, for posterity, enjoy.

Originally posted on the 15th of December 2009.

As the year is coming to a close and a lot of people are complaining about the lack of great games over the last 12 months, I decided to compile a list of games that have made 2009 a great year for me, and why. So without further ado, ten must-have 2009 games that have rocked my little world.

10: SoulCalibur: Broken Destiny - Namco, PSP.

Far from just being a port of SoulCalibur IV, Broken Destiny took the already impressive fighting game and expanded on it, adding two new characters (including God of War's charismatic hero and all-round nice guy Kratos) and a handful of great new features including a continuous play system based on Tekken: Dark Resurrection's Arcade Mode. The character creation facility from SCIV also makes a return, and it is possibly better than it's parent game's offering. Namco have definitely proven that they are the kings of PSP fighters, Capcom need to sit up a bit.

9: X-Men Origins: Wolverine - Raven Software, XBox 360.

Movie adaptations are usually kiddie-friendly rushed for release pieces of horse shit, and it was utter boredom that drove me to download the demo for Wolverine from the PSN store. When I later received the game bundled with my XBox 360 Elite in September, I expected it to get boring very quickly. It turned out to be an absolutely thrilling God of War style slash-em-up with bucketloads of gore and no sign of Ryan Reynolds anywhere. It's hard to imagine how this game could have been better for what it is.

8: Borderlands - Gearbox Software, XBox 360

Borderlands is a rare game, in that it completely polarizes it's audience. On one hand you have those that love it, and on the other those that hate it, and you'll find it very hard to find anyone sitting on the fence between. In a nutshell, Borderlands is a MMORPG, but without the MM part (although it still plays like one). Then take the fantasy setting and change it into a barren planet full of rednecks and mutants and liberally scatter about a thousand different guns around the game world and you've got it. Throw three friends into the mix and it all spells great fun, if you're at the same skill level that is.

7: The Conduit - High Voltage Software, Wii

The Conduit is actually the most recent game that I've played, and it really impressed me in a way that I didn't think anything on Nintendo's pre-school toy could. It's an awesome FPS that tells the story of an alien invasion orchestrated from within America's own government, and apart from the shitty ending and the fact that at times it's so fucking hard it can drive a grown man to tears, it's great from start to finish.

6: Ghostbusters: The Videogame - Terminal Reality, PS3

When I was a child I had a huge suitcase full of Ghostbusters action figures. I watched the cartoons religiously, loved the films (apart from the library ghost, that scared the shit out of me) and was so jealous of my friend's firehouse play set. I played the Megadrive game so much that me and my friend had written lyrics to the background music. So every second of this game was a fanboy delight for me. And I had my chance to finally get revenge on the library ghost. Just don't cross the streams...

5: Killzone 2 - Guerrilla Games, PS3

I had never even played Killzone 1 until this year, so the series was entirely new to me. Where Killzone impressed me, Killzone 2 absolutely blew me away with it's absolute chaos and phenomenal graphics. Where Gears of War is very organized in it's 'walk to an area, have a fight, repeat' mechanic, Killzone 2 just throws panic and constant action at you at every turn. There's even an attempt at emotive storytelling too, but it gets lost under the machismo and buzzcuts, which are more important in a military FPS.

4: Batman: Arkham Asylum - Rocksteady Studios, PS3

What, as low as number 4? Yeah, Batman is a fantastic game and would probably be at the top spot in a lot of people's lists, but I can't help feeling that it got caught up in the hype of The Dark Knight, which was hyped for a lot of wrong reasons, but let's not get into that. Arkham was, for those who've been living at the Earth's core for the last year, stated as the ultimate Batman experience, melding combat and detective work with a look that stays true to the comics and yet doesn't look too dissimilar to the more recent films (and indeed those from 20 years ago), and features the voices from the incredible Warner Bros. cartoons. Although not that original it sits at the top of the field in everything it does do, and as with Ghostbusters I'm a bit of a fanboy. The collector's edition Batarang was shit though.

3: Shadow Complex - Chair Entertainment, XBox 360

A surprise for me, I tried the trial version of this game on a whim, and it absolutely blew me away. I immediately got me some Microsoft Points and downloaded it. The game is a side-scrolling shooter/platformer in a similar vein to Super Metroid, but with less aliens and more evil subterranean masterminds. Aside from great shooting and simple yet effective melee combat, the platforming is like a 2D Tomb Raider, it actually reminds me of Generations Lost on the Megadrive. And with the platforming element, the only voice that could be used for the main character is Nolan North, which brings me to...

2: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves - Naughty Dog, PS3

I was a huge fan of the first Uncharted where a lot of people understandably overlooked it due to it's zero media coverage and exclusivity to a console that looked like it might die on it's arse, so in the 10 months between Uncharted 2's announcement and release I was practically shitting myself on an hourly basis. I think (I'm pretty sure) that the first one is better in my eyes anyway, but that doesn't stop Among Thieves being a fucking incredible game in every way that kept me hooked from start to finish with it's amazing graphics and Oscar-worthy narrative and voice-acting. The game is an absolute thrill-ride and aside from a pretty annoying train ride and an underwhelming last boss it's pretty much perfect.

1: Dragon Age: Origins - Bioware, XBox 360

No game this year has had me hooked so badly, especially as I'm not an RPG gamer by trait. While not as widespread and welcoming as Oblivion, the game I was hoping that DAO would fill the hole left by, it's expansive main quest and numerous side-quests keep dragging you back for more. Aside from the quests, the relationships that you build up with your entourage through gift giving and social interaction, like a perverted Animal Crossing, and the different paths you can take with every different decision made just compel you to carry on playing, and I found that even before I'd finished it I was already planning my second playthrough. It was only the amassing pile of unplayed games mounting up and my running out of things to blog about that forced me to move on. A slightly underwhelming collector's edition is all that tarnishes this masterpiece.

So that's that then. What, no Modern Warfare 2? No, while I acknowledge that a lot of people love it, it's just not my cup of tea. The campaign was pretty good but not fantastic, but the game was mainly multiplayer and that just doesn't interest me. And, perhaps criminally Left 4 Dead 2 and Assassin's Creed 2 have both evaded my grasp so far. I was very tempted to add Monkey Island SE and God of War collection, but I figured that involved a bit of rule banding, with neither being strictly 2009 releases. Well, until next year then, with it's fine bounty of Mass Effect 2, Fallout: New Vegas, Batman 2 and potentially a new Tomb Raider. I'm very much looking forward to it.

Is that a cartoon pig?

2011-01-11T11:43:00.000Z

First things first:

Yeah, I left the price on intentionally. The more awake of you will remember I reviewed MW2 on the arse end of 2009 with full intentions of hating it, but actually ended up quite enjoying the game, as far fetched and Bond-like it was (which causes me to diverge and note that while playing GoldenEye on the Wii the other week, my immediate reaction was that it was like 'a shit Call of Duty'. Back on track). I had all intention to pick the game up once it hit the fabled £10 mark, but for that price with a pair of actual Night Vision Goggles I couldn't really pass it up. It was from Morrisons if anyone's interested, but I doubt you'll find any now. Our store only had four copies sent.

The goggles themselves are great. They look and feel a bit plasticky, after all they are made of plastic, but once I got the buggers on I was incredibly impressed. They are able to switch between long and short range, have adjustable eyepieces and manual focus, and even let you apply a green filter to your vision, just like in the movies. Now it's just left for me to find a suitable use for them, instead of following my cat around in the dark. I can't wait until I next go camping.

I've had a better time with The Sims 3 now I've learnt to cheat (press start and hold all shoulder buttons for those interested). The port is actually pretty faithful (I say without actually playing the PC version of The Sims 3), and the fire hazard meter is a lot more forgiving than on previous generation consoles: I was able to move into the biggest house in town and fill it with junk and barely even scratch the surface. Sure, I'm not getting any Trophies for my troubles, but it's hardly having a negative impact on my enjoyment of the game, whereas having to cope with poverty and finding a job while still trying to keep myself entertained and happy, well, it's a bit too much like real life.

I finished Fable III with my evil princess, and with a bit of patience (and leaving my XBox on all day to earn as much as I can) I think the next time I should be able to play through it as a benevolent character. I intend to do the trilogy fairly soon, as Fable III really got me in the mood to redo the first and, through my rose-tinted spectacles (I actually own some once, found them on a wall in Derbyshire, true story), best in the series. Been playing Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions too, which is a nice little distraction. A standard God of War clone, the game sees you step into the shoes of four Spider-Men from varying Marvel Earths to battle evil and reclaim fragments of a broken stone tablet with the power to undo all realities, all the while quipping to yourself in a typically carefree way.

It's mostly a standard brawler affair, with the occasional Force Unleashed II style freefall section in the Spider-Man 2099 bits, but the action is broken up by the Spider-Man Noir levels. Set in the 1930s, Noir sees an incarnation of Spider-Man as a darkly-dressed vigilante stalking the night, clinging to the shadows and striking terror into the cowardly, superstitious criminal element. Totally not like Batman. In fact, the Noir sections are nothing but a homage to Arkham Asylum, in which you swing around rafters silently picking off your enemies and fleeing to the shadows when spotted. Even the Spider Sense mode is a bit like Batman's Detective mode.

Having reached the Nolan North powered Deadpool level last night, and hearing the man himself deliver probably his best role since last year's Uncharted 2, I am inclined to think that I've possibly reached the highest point in the game, for me anyway. But at no point have I been bored with it, I just haven't been blown away. It's a solid game, and a lot better than Spider-Man 3. Actually thinking of picking up Web of Shadows at some point now. I heard you can decapitate Wolverine in it. Sweet.

And finally, I've conquered my fears of Fuck Off Dragons and restarted Dragon Age: Origins, the time the Ultimate Edition on PS3, in anticipation of March's Dragon Age II. A Dalish Elf this time, I'm determined to play all of the DLC too. I completed Leliana's Song before starting the main game, and it was pretty good, if a little shallow and pointless. It just tells how Leliana, our Orlesian Rogue, was betrayed by her mentor Marjolaine, as she touches upon in conversation in the main game, mainly through combat, which wasn't DA:O's strong point. It only took a couple of hours to finish anyway, and it was fresh and new, so I can't complain.

Alright, so, my Top 10 of '10 has been ultimately drafted, and I just have one more game to play from last year, so expect next week's post to be a bit of a 2010 recap of the 25 or 26 games that didn't get into the highest echelon, followed by the Top 10 the week after. I'll probably recap last year's 10 too, as it was never posted on this site. Bye for now.

Here you go, create another Fable...

2011-01-04T11:57:00.000Z

Firstly, hope you guys had an awesome Christmas and New Year. I personally spent the former with God of War: Ghost of Sparta and the latter with Fable III, but I'm sure you guys have a much more bustling social life than I. Secondly, I've made a new year's resolution to get back into regular posting here at 24HG, so hopefully most Tuesdays will see a post from me. I tried a more lenient approach to posting, but I rack disciprine.

I'll start with a short roundup of a few of the games I've been playing but don't have much to say about, initially with the aforementioned GoW: Ghost of Sparta. There really isn't much to say about a GoW game that I haven't gushed before, but one thing that jumps out at me about GoS is the visuals, and that it's clearly the most gorgeous game on the PSP yet, and actually visually surpasses the PS2 GoWs, which is no mean feat. A stand out moment was seeing the rain actually run down Kratos' body (totally not gay), something that is rarely seen on a full-on next-gen game.

On Christmas Day I had a go with the gift I bestowed on my Nephew: Batman: The Brave and the Bold on Wii. It was a pleasant surprise, and a nostalgia trip in two ways: The gameplay harks back to the SNES and Megadrive Batman games, particularly The Adventures of Batman and Robin, and the writing style and humour are reminiscent of the 1960's Batman TV series. But most importantly, it was providing the 4 year old budding geek beside me with a better introduction to the DC Universe than I ever had, teaching him of characters like Captain Marvel, Catman and Booster Gold, who I didn't know anything about until my late teens. And that's why it's the most important game in the world right now.

Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock has also been on my radar, and has somewhat restored my faith in the series. It's probably the best GH since GHIII, and the strongest setlist since World Tour, but the best thing by far is that some effort has actually gone into the single player mode, and it's not just a hub for online play like GH5 and Band Hero were. It's genuinely exciting to see what each character's warrior form looks like, and the unique ability each character possesses adds a new dimension to the gameplay. I'm not sure about the character-specific setlists though. I'd expect pop-rock queen Judy Nails to play songs from bands such as Paramore, Evanescence and Avril Lavigne, not Queen and The Cure like she has, and for resident goth Pandora to have My Chemical Romance and Fallout Boy in her set is a bit criminal. There are differences between goth and emo, Neversoft. One cries and writes poetry, the other cries and self harms. Not sure which is which though.

Moving on to the big names, Fable III is something of a departure from the series so far. It still retains the same core gameplay, but with a few changes such as a refined combat and conversation. The former sees the melee, ranged and magical combat all assigned to a single button each, meaning that regular attacks, special attacks and blocking are all placed on the X button, but it actually really works well. And with the conversation, you actually have to snap to your recipient with the A button before engaging them, instead of just wandering into town and gurning at people until you draw a crowd like on Fable II. Also your hero speaks, a feature that really rubbed me up the wrong way at first as it drives a wedge between you and the character, not letting you fully see them as you because it doesn't leave you to put words in their mouth. I got over it though.

The most curious thing about Fable III is the apparent moral of the story is that being, well, moral will get you nowhere. A lot of the side quests have no positive outcome, and later on, without spoiling anything, every positive choice you make will cost you literally thousands of your precious gold, which you need to end the game in any way successfully. Historically I always have played through games like this once as a benevolent male, then on my second run through as a female who's a bit of a bastard (I'd love to hear what a psychiatrist has to say about that one), but the impending failure of my male hero drew me to up sticks and unleash the bitch onto the world early. Overall it's a great game, but it took me a while to get into it, and while it's better than Fable II, the first Fable still holds a very dear part of me. I'll say this about III though, no other game has ever seen me fight off a horde of Zombies side-by-side with Simon Pegg and Jason Manford.

Between Kratos and the Princess of Albion, I headed off to 15th Century Italy once more to spend time with my old mate Ezio in his latest outing: Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. ACB is set directly after ACII, in terms of Ezio's timeline and the background events in 2012, and sees Ezio take the fight to Rome after the Pope's son Cesare destroys his Villa, and Nolan North and the Scooby Gang looking for a new hideout after being compromised at the end of the last game.

For the first couple of hours, the game is a near carbon copy of ACII, and honestly failed to impress me, but it really gets good when it comes to recruiting and commanding your own guild of hoodies; a touch of the L2 button while an enemy is in range sees them quickly dispatched by one of your own. The coolest instance of this was when my prey was passing by a hay bale, and was just swept into it in a split second without any of his colleagues or passing civilians batting an eyelid. Your yobs can also be sent on missions all around the world, presumably to hang around in shopping malls and intimidate old ladies, all the while earning you money and levelling themselves up to greater aid you in time of need.

The game rides on a high for quite a while after that, but falls at the final hurdle when it finally allows you full use of the Apple of Eden, which turns out to be a boring and poorly executed game mechanic, turning combat into a tedious waiting game as you are reduced to watching your enemies fight each other, unable to just draw your sword and sort them out yourself. Coupled with the suitably retarded ending that I've come to expect from an AC game, Brotherhood virtually kills itself in the last couple of hours. But for a while, in the middle of the game, it was awesome.

Last thing I wanna talk about is The Sims 3 on the PS3. I was delighted when I learned of it's release, because I've been wanted a true, undiluted Sims game on a console, and thought that this generation would finally be the one to run it. Well, the gameplay is there, albeit heavily adapted obviously, but the furniture limit that haunted the PS2 Sims games is there, to stop the console running out of memory, thinly disguised as a 'fire hazard meter'. Derp.

I also realised that The Sims is nothing without cheats, forcing you to play through hours of awful, dreary poverty before the game gets fun. A quick scan on GameFAQs shows me that there are in fact cheats for the PS3 version, so before I trade it in for Batman: The Brave and the Bold I'll give it another chance, fully cheat enabled, and see if it grabs me.

So, lastly, before I head into Sim City once more, the 2010 Game of the Year post is coming, along with a 2010 roundup of the rest of the year's games, or at least the ones I've played. I just need to get to grips with a few more of 2010's games first. I'll try and post before January is through. So, with that, I'll see you next Tuesday. Probably.

We don't speak anymore of War...

2010-12-14T12:23:00.000Z

As an avid Mortal Kombat fan and an avid God of War fan, I saw last weekend's new trailer for the upcoming Mortal Kombat game unveiling Kratos as a guest character, and promptly went mad. Heading over to the old Mortal Kombat forum that I used to frequent a while back, I found that, to no surprise whatsoever, the franchise's 'fanbase' were less than happy, as they have been for every new MK release since I joined the boards, back in the days of MK: Deadly Alliance.

Upon telling them all they were overreacting, as a response to one guy trolling the threads with Kratos spam-hate and another hypochondriac claiming that this single character addition, who might I add has no bearing on the storyline whatsoever and is simply there as an Easter Egg, had sent the 'good' (obviously ignoring the sales figures and the fans' own reactions to the series for the past decade or so) name of Mortal Kombat 'down the drain', I was informed that I have 'no respect for the series' that I have followed since the age of seven, and have bought and still own at least one copy of each game in the series in some form or another. So, I feel prompted to write in support of Kratos' appearance.

Financially, we'll begin with. Kratos himself is a household name. He's starred in six of his own games over four systems (look it up, there was a GoW for Mobile Phones), and made cameos in others such as LittleBigPlanet, Modnation Racers, Heavenly Sword (in a fashion) and SoulCalibur. Despite being a PlayStation-exclusive series, each God of War game has drastically outsold the Mortal Kombat that was released nearest to it's own date. So really, it's an honour that such a high-profile name should make it into a series which has fallen so far, and the GoW fans it will draw into MK, which no doubt greatly outnumber it's own fans (who all seem to hate the games anyway), will help ensure financial success and spur WB Games into funding the continuation of the series. But of course, if Mr. Ed Boon wants to make any money out of the game, then he's instantly a sellout.

Right then, my second point. Kratos fits in with the Mortal Kombat universe. I'm hard pressed to think of another videogame protagonist that is as brutal and visceral as the War God himself, and MK seems to be trying to push the boundaries of violence and brutality with the new release. Not only that, but Kratos is on a mission to destroy the Gods, and MK features no less than three Gods as playable characters throughout the series. In SoulCalibur he was potentially wasted, because of the lack of gore, and he didn't fit in with the uber-clean and shiny look of an eastern-made game. MK has both bases covered.

It's come to my attention that since the Kratos bombshell dropped, Epic Games' Cliff Bleszinski and Mark Rein have showed interest in slapping a Gears of War character into the 360 version, which is sure to rub salt into the wounds of the pent-up masses. I'm hoping for the Cole Train, not only do I love him almost as much as Kratos, but his carefree, comic relief attitude is sure to ruffle the feathers of many a rectally clenched MK 'purist'. I can't wait.

So, as a little bit of fun, I set up a petition urging David Jaffe to include our beloved Kratos in every game he possibly can from now on. I would love to see him manually decapitating a Chimera in Resistance 3, applying sandal to Hig in Killzone 3, high fiving Lara Croft after helping her uncover some ancient Greek treasure or kicking back and relaxing after disemboweling the Grim Reaper for trying to interfere with his indoor barbeque in the next expansion pack for The Sims 3. You can view and sign the petition here, so go for it, just for a laugh. Get your pets to sign it too, and your gran, she loves a bit of dismemberment.

And to sign out, I thought I'd prepare a little something for you guys.

Not the biggest MK collection going, but not bad for someone who has no respect for the series. See you guys later.

Carry on camping! - 24 Hour Gamer hits the fields...

2010-09-28T17:02:00.000+01:00

Yes, this last weekend has seen Me, Trev and our respective other 'alves Susie and Katie took to the North Yorkshire Moors with nothing but a few canvas sheets and grim determination on our side. As usual, gaming was involved, but the weekend wasn't limited to that alone. So without further ado, our weekend.

SATURDAY, 25/9/10: Here I am, Rock you like a Hurricane...

The ride over to Whitby went without fault, aside from the customary return to Sheffield 10 minutes into the journey to lock the front door, but that's a given. It wasn't until we were around three quarters of the way there that the sky turned a threatening shade of grey, and by the time we'd got there our moorland home for the weekend had seen a fair amount of rain and the wind was blowing at over 30 miles per hour, making tent-pitching a bit of a nightmare to say the least. We picked a spot behind a group with a large trailer-tent, hoping that it might provide a bit of shelter from the elements, and after three hours of wrestling with tents and a quick change out of our mud-soaked clothes, we headed into Scarborough, only to hit a fresh disaster when Katie's car dropped dead as we were looking for a parking spot.

Mechanic called and dinner eaten in a local pub (in which a guy at the bar was knee-deep in Just Cause 2 on his laptop), the four of us headed down to the sea front, where Trev and I quickly ducked into the amusements. Unable to coax Trev into a game on Guitar Hero Arcade, we ended up taking up arms against a bunch of not-extinct-enough dinosaurs in Primeval Hunt, a light gun shooter from experts in the field (if ever there were) Sega. The game is centered around hunting certain species of dinosaur in the way a big game hunter would hunt an animal nowadays, stalking them through the undergrowth and taking them down. Of course this comes with an element of danger, one example of which was when a boisterous Triceratops took offense to being shot up the arsehole and charged, and in the later hunts a few unwanted guests arrive in the form of the ever-present Spielbergian T Rexes and Velociraptors, the former of which arrived twice and were taken out with a rocket to the head from each of us.

The weapon in the players' hands in Primeval Hunt is a pump-action shotgun, which can also double up as a rifle and a crossbow in-game, and the guns feature speakers in the barrels to give realism. And to give the game a free-roaming quality, the arcade cab featured a touch-screen map near the shotgun holsters which we could use to pinpoint and travel to our prey. Overall it was an excellent shooter, really fun and the guns were as accurate as they come, especially for shotties. The game is screaming out for a Wii conversion, and the Shotgun layout is perfectly suited to the Wii Zapper, the front trigger of which could double up as the reload pump and the Nunchuck's Z button could be used to fire. Throw in DS connectivity for the touch-screen and they'd be on to a winner. I'd get it on release anyway.

After a quick stint on the 2p pusher machines bore fruit by dropping me a Mario plush and some creepy racist-looking Voodoo Doll, we headed off to get a taxi back too our blustery haven, where we were delighted to find that our tents were mostly still there, and after a brief bonding session with a lovely bloke in a camper van who pulled in next to us for the night (of who's luxury we were definitely not jealous), we spent a few hours drinking in Trev's tent before retiring to our beds, where Trev found that playing Half-Minute Hero in a monsoon isn't particularly possible, and Susie and I were kept awake all night by the drunk Geordie bastards in the trailer-tent.

SUNDAY, 26/9/10: Come with me if you want to live...

We awoke to find that the wind had died down quite a lot overnight, although it had had it's toll on our tents, both of which had suffered pole damage and ours was starting to come apart at the seams. Unfazed, we headed into Whitby early for breakfast, where we made a hasty retreat from the cafe we settled on after they undercharged us by about a fiver. The more astute among you will notice that on this day last year I was actually getting married in Whitby, so the wife and I had planned to have our dinner at the Magpie cafe, our favourite eatery in the town. But unfortunately, it's everyone else's favourite too, for good reason, and neither of us really felt like queueing to get in. So we carried on along the seafront, and Trev and myself once again found ourselves in the amusements as the girls had a walk down to the beach.

We found a dusty old Time Crisis 2 cab in the back of one arcade, and had a couple of goes on that, where Trev got his own back after my domination on Primeval Hunt by handling the game like a pro, after I waited ages at the start of the game for my 'turn', forgetting about the foot pedal that pops you out from behind cover, and then spent the rest of the game catching bullets and missiles with my face. We pondered the other machines, and looked for another Primeval Hunt machine unsuccessfully. When Susie and Katie returned, The ladies had a go on Ford Racing: Full Blown (which, once again, I've been instructed to mention that Susie won), while I once again donned my hunting cap for the more conventional Big Buck Hunter. The game has more or less the same premise as PH, just with more likely prey and a lack of touch screen. I chose to hunt the moose, and did pretty well, again sparking a stampede after shooting a buck up the arsehole. After passing all of the trials, I was treated to a bonus round shooting turkeys, of which only four out of the whole 25 escaped my pump-action retribution. The shotgun really is my weapon of choice.

Following that, my wife and I celebrated our first anniversary by taking up arms against the machine army in the excellent Terminator Salvation: The Arcade Game. The game is a standard lightgun shooter, but the weapon in your hand is where the game shines. A full-sized assault rifle with real recoil, it is weighty and effective, and during the game I picked up a chaingun, which actually altered the speed and intensity of the recoil. To reload, instead of shooting off-screen, you tap the bottom of the rifle's 'clip', as if you were actually slamming in another magazine. And under the barrel is a grenade button, where an attachable grenade launcher would be found. We didn't last long, but what we did see of the game was amazing fun, and the visuals were great, with so much happening on-screen at once. And the cabs were readily available all over Whitby and Scarborough, so if anyone chances across it, give it a go. Trev tried to gamble for a knock-off Wii-style console for a bit, but ended up settling for the minor prize he could have had from each go, and walked away with a Machop Pokemon toy.

A cream tea and a walk around later, and we headed up to the whalebone arch to have our photo taken, as we had done the year before following the wedding. The weather, cold, blustery and wet, was a stark contrast to the gorgeous sunshine of last year, so we quickly boarded a taxi back to the site. The wind was now manageable, so we built our kites and spent an absolutely amazing afternoon flying them on the field, before a storm I'd been watching in the valley below swept around and we had to dash inside. Once it had passed, we fired up a barbecue and before long we headed into our beds, where I finished off Def Jam: Fight for NY - The Takeover, then slept a little while before another storm beating against our tent put an end to my rest.

MONDAY, 27/9/10: Country road, take me home...

We awoke to good news, Katie's car was going to live and a new clutch could be affixed before the day was through. Both Tents had to be thrown away, the elements had been unkind once more and Trev and Katie's tent had let in a fair bit of rain. We packed our things and waved goodbye as Trev and Katie headed into Scarborough to get the car, and set off home ourselves through the thickest fog I have ever seen. Upon our return, we split the unspent holiday cash, which amounted to £100 each, and I spend my lot on Halo: Reach, Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker and a preorder was placed for Enslaved: Odyssey to the West, which if the demo is anything to go by is both beautiful and brilliant, a perfect marriage of God of War and Uncharted, with the same kind of decayed beauty as Gears of War. So that gives us something to look forward to over the coming weeks. Hasta luego, fellas.

Hey little sister, who's your Superman?

2010-08-24T15:01:00.000+01:00

We haven't forgotten you, oh no. I've been caught up with brushing up on my bass guitar skills (sic) and finally discovering this Facebook thing, and my cohort Trev has been busy playing Guild Wars with his siblings none stop, and there are simply not enough hours in the day (hence our still-present title). In the relatively small time I have spent gaming though, I've managed to polish off a few more noteworthy games.

Firstly, I've had another run through Ghostbusters and Batman: Arkham Asylum, two of last year's best games. I've been itching to replay Ghostbusters since I saw the credits roll the first time around, and as I had just finished watching the two films, it seemed like fate when I opened the shame box (the pile was getting a little untidy) and the digitized faces of Murray, Ramis, Aykroid and Hudson met my gaze.

For the absolutely criminal amount of people who ignored the game upon release, Ghostbusters is a continuation of the movie canon, set in 1991 and focusing on the impending threat of a Gozer cultist intent on bringing the asexual flat-topped deity back to the big apple. You play as an unnamed recruit (I say 'unnamed', you get called everything under the sun during the game), hired to test the team's experimental equipment, and retread some classic environments such as the New York City Public Library and the Sedgewick Hotel in a Gears-style 3rd person shooter.

It's a standard affair most of the time, shoot enemies until they drop, that kind of thing, but it really shines when you come up against 'proper' ghosts, who must be whittled down and trapped, just like in the films. There's a real feeling of weight when you're trying to reel in your quarry, and they are thrashing about and generally being unruly, and it's often quite tricky, and thus rewarding, to finally lock the little blighter away. And the whole thing is carried on the shoulders of the awesome comic stylings of the original cast. Plus, the graphics are still great, a rendered Ernie Hudson actually fooled a friend of the wife into believing it was filmed footage. With it's loyal fan service and easter eggs (dancing toaster anyone?), Ghostbusters is essential for any child of the eighties.

Arkham was more strategically placed in the shame box, as the teasers for Arkham City made me salivate with anticipation. Not going into too much as I've already covered B:AA in the blog, but it still looks amazing and I really immersed myself in the combat system this time around, reversing moves, beating up thugs with their own weapons and silently picking off terrified inmates left right and centre, whereas last time I was just hammering the square button until my thumbs bled. I don't think I've seen a combat system this fluid, except maybe in Assassin's Creed, but compared to Arkham the fights in AC seem lifeless and slow. Bring on Arkham City, and soon.

After tiring of Oblivion once more, after another 100+ hours trudging through Tamriel, I skipped a few games in the box until I got to the first 360 game in there, a lovely little game known as Prey. Prey is a 2006 FPS, focusing on a Cherokee alien abductee known as Domasi 'Tommy' Towadi as he gets up to all kinds of hi jinks on board an alien mother ship as they try to go about their business, the cheeky little scamp. Of course, the aliens' business is naturally the abduction and consumption of entire races, so Tommy's interfering is a noble act.

The game is relentlessly old school, forgetting the two-gun system and regenerating health seen in just about every FPS since Halo, instead focusing on a more Doom-like approach. But before you go into flashbacks of having all of your health sapped by a Cyber Demon and running around screaming, frantically searching for a health pack, Be aware that Tommy, being a Cherokee, is very attuned to the spirit world, which regurgitates him back into the world every time he pops his clogs with a refilled health bar and a warm fuzzy feeling inside. But that's also Prey's downfall, after the first couple of levels death isn't even an inconvenience, and it makes the game far too easy even on it's hardest difficulty setting, on which I was able to polish the game off in 8 hours.

But where Prey is physically easy, mentally it's a very difficult game. The environment is often sickeningly gruesome, with the alien ship's seemingly biological parts glistening as if slimey, and mutilated people, some dead, some alive, litter the halls. Tommy's main objective is to rescue his girlfriend Jen, and when you finally find her, you will probably witness one of the most powerful and emotive set-pieces in videogame history. You can get hold of Prey now for about £3, and I thoroughly recommend it. It's nostalgic to a simpler time in FPSes, but pioneered some features that later games took all the credit for (Portal springs to mind, for one). You need Prey, and I need you to have it.

Last, but not least, after seeing the incredible teaser for Bioshock: Infinite, I decided that it was High Time I returned to Rapture and procured a copy of Bioshock 2, for the tender price of £7.99 from GAME. I enjoyed the first one, but felt it didn't need a sequel, and as such dismissed BS2 as a mere cash-in, but truth be told I'm enjoying it far more than I ever thought I would.

Where BS had you playing as a normal man caught up by chance in the ruined atlantian city of Rature, BS2 straps you into the oversized boots of one of the first Big Daddies, bio-mechanical monsters that stalk the streets with their ghoulish little girls extracting a substance known as ADAM from the lifeless bodies of the ill-fated. The extra strength a Big Daddy commands means that every weapon can be carried in one hand, leaving the other open, meaning that a Plasmid ability (a special power such as Telekinesis or Pyrokinesis gained from rewriting your DNA with chemicals) is always at the ready, eliminating the need to switch between them mid fight and making the battles a lot more streamlined. Aside from that, nothing else has really changed, but I'm still waist-deep in it so I could be surprised like I was with Red Dead, no doubt minutes after I post this. But why fix something that wasn't broken?

Okay wrapping it up. Finally gotten around to downloading Alan Wake's first bit of DLC, titled The Signal, but haven't had a go yet. Will do soon. And I've had a good go on the trial versions of Limbo and Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light, both of which are fantastic pieces of software. The thing is though, I only have the Microsoft Points for one of them, and I can't decide which I should get for the life of me. I'm tilting for the bleak, soul-crushing but ultimately beautiful Limbo though, as I think Maybe I could coax official 24HG commenter Paul into a bit of co-op once Lara hits the PS3 next month. Any views on this via the comments section, please and thank yous.

So yeah, we're still here. Trev's possibly going to crop up at some point with reviews of Nier and Castlevania HD (which is shit by the way, as far as the trial goes anyway), and I'll try and make my visits a bit less sporadic. Buhbye xx.

When two tribes go to war! - 10 Crossover fighting games to keep you occupied!

2010-07-29T20:54:00.001+01:00

With the newly announced Street Fighter X Tekken, the strongly hinted Tekken X Street Fighter and the upcoming Marvel vs. Capcom 3 on the horizon, and the relatively recent and hugely playable Tatsunoko vs. Capcom and Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe still on the shelves, it would appear that the Crossover Fighting Game genre is making a bit of a comeback. So if, like me, you're just counting down the minutes until you can bray Thor as Chris Redfield, or shatter the jaw of Kazuya Mishima with Chun Li's unfeasibly huge thighs, here's ten games in no particular order that might help pass the time.

This is simply the greatest screenshot. Ever.

Capcom vs. SNK 2: Mark of the Millennium 2001 (2001 - Capcom - DC, PS2, GCN, XB)

If you were to ask a fighting game fan what the best 2D fighter was pre-2009, it's a 50/50 chance you'd be told without hesitation to seek out this absolute gem of a game. Featuring 49 characters from across the board of Capcom and industry rivals SNK's respective catalogues and an accessible Street Fighter style fighting system, it's virtually unbeaten even now, nearly a decade after it's release. And it provided me, at least, with a means to get to know SNK's cast with a familiar control method, instead of admiring them from afar in the past.

Marvel vs. Capcom 2: New Age of Heroes (2000 - Capcom - DC, PS2, XB, PS3, 360)

The other half of those fighting game fans would direct you to this stroke of genius from a year prior. MVC2 featured an even larger roster of 56 fighters including three original Capcom creations and 28 of Marvel Comics' expansive roster of heroes and villains, and an over-the-top fighting system featuring screen-filling special moves, strikers and tag fighting and a higher y-axis for super-fast midair combat. It's a little bit rare and pricey to find on disk now, but was re-released on XBox Live Arcade and PSN last year with a shiny HD filter, so it's readily available without even leaving the house. Nope, you have no excuse.

Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe (2008 - Midway - PS3, 360)

I was convinced my home was bugged for a while after this was announced, as Mortal Kombat and DC Comics are too of my favourite things. Almost a polar opposite to the last game, and 8 years too late really, this 3D fighter pits the furious, visceral Scorpion, Sub-Zero and co against the heroes and villains of DC comics, led by the iconic trinity of Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman. The game was derided by players for the unlikely setting (because MVC2 was far more believable) and toned down gore, but was actually a very solid fighter, the best in the Mortal Kombat series in years in fact. It featured a cinematic story-driven single player mode, a solid multiplayer only flawed by a certain Superman move, and some fantastic universe-bending artwork in the endings. And most of the people who sneer haven't even played it, so give it a chance.

And before that, this was the greatest screenshot ever.

Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Ultimate All-Stars (2009 - Capcom - Wii)

The latest in Capcom's versus series features a smaller cast of 26, but is the first to make the transition into 3D visuals. At first it seemed there was little chance of seeing this game released in the west due to licensing issues, but when it finally arrived we got an updated game with extra characters and a more refined system. Capcom draw on characters from games new to the Capom vs. series, such as Lost Planet, Dead Rising and Viewtiful Joe, And the Tatsunoko side is filled with legendary characters from classic 70's anime like Hurricane Polymar and Science Ninja Team Gatchaman (Battle of the Planets to us). The gameplay harks back to the MVC2 system, so if you're a Nintendo purist it's unmissable. But you really need a classic controller to get the most out of it, so things could prove pricey.

SNK vs. Capcom: SVC Chaos (2003 - SNK - PS2, XB)

Much like Namco is threatening to do, SNK released this retaliation to CVS2 using their own system and mechanics. Although it featured a drop in the roster count and was less in-your-face presentation-wise, SNK showed a willingness that Capcom hadn't by redrawing all of the characters' sprites, and drawing from a more fantastical cast including Metal Slug's Mars People, Red Earth's Tessa and Darkstalkers' Dimitri. I'll admit, I still haven't gotten my head around the SNK system, and they don't seem to have gotten the Capcom characters' personalities right in the conversation scenes, but it's still enjoyable, especially if you appreciate the art style.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl (2008 - Ad hoc - Wii)

Still one of the best Wii exclusives, SSBB pits characters from all of Nintendo's franchises against each other, from major players like Mario and Zelda, to lesser known games such as Mother and Fire Emblem, and even some from 3rd party games like Sonic the Hedgehog and Metal Gear. The game offers a unique fighting experience, focusing on ring-outs instead of KOs, the chance of which happening is displayed as a percentage instead of a health bar. Characters can also pick up and use powerups and weapons in the field, and the action is broken up by some absolutely beautiful FMV sequences. And it's another good reason to own that classic controller too.

But before that one, this was the best. Ever.

SoulCalibur II (2003 - Namco - PS2, XB, GCN)

Though not technically a crossover game, SCII has one exclusive character for each system, all from other franchises. The PS2 version has Tekken's Heihachi Mishima, the XBox homes Image Comics' Spawn and the Gamecube version naturally features Link from The Legend of Zelda. Most of you have played a SoulCalibur game, so you'll know all about it's weapon-based combat and genre-crossing story modes, but for those who haven't, think Tekken with swords and ring-outs. If you're looking for something more recent, check out SoulCalibur IV on the PS3 and 360, which features Darth Vader, Yoda and Galen Marek from Star Wars, and SoulCalibur: Broken Destiny on the PSP, which plays host to God of War's Kratos.

Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects (2005 - EA - PS2, XB, GCN, PSP, DS)

Basically Marvel vs. EA, this game was largely forgettable on all versions except for the PSP, which dropped the scrolling fighter levels in favour of an experience similar to Power Stone and Ehrgeiz, and gave the Marvel Characters more of an iconic look. The EA side of things, the titular Imperfects, weren't classic EA characters, but rather a team of superhumans created by EA specifically for the game. Possibly not an essential purchase, but it is still the only fighting game that features Marvel characters such as The Thing, Elektra and (in the home console version at least) Daredevil, unless any of them make it into MVC3.

Jump Ultimate Stars (2006 - Ganbarion - DS)

A Japan-only release due to similar licencing hell to TVC, JUS would have fallen through the 24HG net had it not been for the absolutely monstrous character count; 305 (56 fully playable, the rest as strikers and support characters) of the protagonists and antagonists of the insanely popular (in the west also) Shonen Manga label, including Dragonball, Naruto, Bleach and One Piece, are crammed onto a single DS cart. The game plays similarly to Super Smash Bros., only with a completely baffling (especially so considering the Japanese text) card-based system. Even thinking about it makes my head hurt, but this is a grade-A fanboy wet dream.

MUGEN (1999 - Elecbyte - PC)

Apparently, to those pedantic competitive fighting game purists (read: wankers), MUGEN is an unbalanced abortion. But to the rest of us, it's a wonderful bit of freeware. Out of the box, so to speak, it's a basic 2D fighter with only one character, the generic Ryu-alike Kung Fu Man, but MUGEN offers those with a little bit of know-how to download and import a plethora of user created characters, some ripped from other games, some edited to become new characters, some created from scratch, and all with AI and a quality only limited by their creator's expertise. This is, however you look at it, the only place where you can see Sub-Zero decapitate Knuckles the Echidna, or Lobo stove in Thundercats' Lion-O's face. And that should be enough to sell it to anyone interested in the genre.

So, there are ten games to keep you occupied until Spring rolls around once more. There are more if you look for them too, like Capcom Fighting Jam (Capcom vs. Capcom), NeoGeo Battle Coliseum (SNK vs. SNK) and Spectral vs. Generation (Spectral Force vs. Generations of Chaos, me neither) all worth a play. So go forth, fight fans, and collide some worlds. Excelsior!

What's in a name?

2010-07-21T12:45:00.000+01:00

So as the site increases in popularity (We had 300 hits in one day the other week, so it's either that or Michael J. Fox was stuck on the refresh button), It's come to my attention that, well, 24 Hour Gamer is a popular name. A quick search on Google returns 24-HRGaming.com, 24HRGamer.com, and, perhaps the worst of them all, 24hourgamer.com, which all spell disaster for our little bastion of constant gaming when it comes to the inevitable task of getting a proper domain name, and possible clashes over intellectual properties in the future.

So, the burning question is; should we here at 24HG towers give up the name we've been lovingly referring to ourselves for over a year, confuse our Twitter followers and annoy the NowGamer forum staff into changing my user name once more, for the sake of keeping the future bright? I think, as much as it pains me, the answer is pointing to yes, swiftly followed by registering a domain name and copyrighting the fuck out of it. But what do we call ourselves then?

That's where you guys come in. I'll be having talks with my counterpart Trev about it, but every suggestion sent to the usual channels is wholly appreciated. 24hourgamer.co.uk is still open, but I think a bit of individuality goes a long way. That's all for now.

STOP! Warhammer Time! - A Dawn Of War II Review.

2010-07-17T23:26:00.002+01:00

Firstly let me just say, I used to be a big fan of Real-Time Strategy games; Command and Conquer was one of my favorite games, and Red Alert really improved on the series. One of the things I enjoyed most was creating a absolutely huge army and taking over the map. At the time, I did not think "Wait a minute, this isn't really strategy is it?" although "Create maaaaaaahoooosive army and take over the map" is a strategy in itself.... Anyway back to my point, things have changed in RTS world. This was first apparent to me when I played Company of Heroes, gone were the "build massive army and absorb map" gameplay types; you now had to constantly think - DEFEND - ATTACK - REGROUP, constantly on the move. Well I loved this for while, but I began to feel anxious in missions, thinking "Can I actually do this?" About a year later, enter Dawn of War II... Which may have roused me from my RTS slumber.

Gone are the days of base building and hording, say hello to smaller much more customisable teams. Want your force commander to take out cover and terrain like a bad mofo with a missile launcher? No problem! Want him to crush skulls with a thunder hammer? Go for it! For this game think "What if an RTS mixed with Diablo?" and you have a pretty good understanding; there be stats to increase and loot to grab, creating a stronger team as you make your way through the game.

If you like Warhammer, you will love the story in DoWII, also as usual the voice acting really shines through, and your armies feel "Alive" as they comment on situations at hand, and the evil that must be crushed. Another great aspect of the game is the cover system, terrain can give you various bonus to cover when you are positioned there, but don't think you're safe if your in heavy cover, sure you won't be taking much damage, but a well placed explosive and that cover is GONE (Although the same applies to any enemies that feel safe, until a demolition charge flies over the wall into their laps lol), you can blow up quite a bit of the world in DoWII - Walls, sandbags, trees, buildings, everything really, as these things also make cover, so if you can use it as cover, it can be destroyed.

Your "Squads" also have special abilities, which can dramatically change how a fight is going. These can range from something simple like the "Rally" command to break suppression on your units while increasing their health regeneration to an almighty orbital strike raining fire from the sky scorching the land (And anything on the land) into dust. Also bringing back the RPG feel, we have end of level bosses, no really! These monstrosities can REALLY do some damage, and you can see how well you are doing by a bar on screen letting you know how much life this boss has. And believe me it helps as these guys have a LOT more health than regular enemies, and also have their own powerful abilities, but you always (More often than not anyway) have time to get out of the way of an ability due to onscreen hints or troops saying "GET OUT OF THE WAY, IT'S GONNA CHARGE", which makes it much more fun than just guessing when things will happen; which would also lead to dying many....MANY times.

Missions take place on various worlds, which also have strategic points you can capture during missions. Taking these points leads to bonus abilities, for instance taking Imperial Shrines gives you an ability that shields your squads for a few seconds from all damage whereas every Automated Foundry captured grants you the ability to call in gun emplacements, to help mow down the enemy. These bonus abilities are planet based, meaning you can use any of the abilities you have unlocked on a planet, for any missions on said planet which can really help out later on. Also these points have to be defended from time to time in a "Defence Mission" which are optional, but if you don't do them, you will lose the strategic point, and any bonuses that come with it. Defence works very well too, showing you where each wave of enemies will make an attack from, so you can try and counter it with a bit of good planning and tactics (Exploding a group of enemies with a well placed explosive charge is a VERY satisfying feeling).

All in all DoWII is an amazing game, with a very deep atmosphere; play it for a while and you will be sucked in, "Just one more mission" will be said again and again, until you look at the clock and realise it is 2AM and your due for work at 8AM... A good reason for this is because you want to try on that new armour, see what this new ability does in a battle or just to get that little bit of EXP to get that level up. DoWII is one of the greatest games I have ever played, it has given me the RTS itch again, something that has been lost for quite a while in me, thanks to this game I feel I can actually do RTS again, especially ones that do not have a pause button (I would have LOVED a pause button!!!).

If your a fan of Warhammer, RTS or even an RPG gamer, you should try this out, it's RTS at a very high level of immersion. Now forgive me as I have to go, Orks are raiding my Communications array, the BLEEDERS!

Uhh, so this is your big day, huh? (24 Hour Gamer is 1!)

2010-07-10T11:38:00.003+01:00

It's hard to believe, but today marks a whole year since my first post as a fledgling blogger, a three-paragraph effort with very very brief looks at 24: The Game, Assassin's Creed and The Punisher: No Mercy, which, quite understandably, nobody read. With a combination of no paragraph spacing, a lack of the html skills to add pictures (before Blogger improved the user interface) and nothing particularly interesting to say, things didn't exactly look rosey for 24HG, but I didn't mind.

See that right there? That's paragraph spacing. The extent of what I've learned is astonishing. So anyway, with the blog slowly picking up momentum, and readers of course, over the last year, I'm going to go over the good and bad times, some of which will be new to you guys.

Firstly, the most mentioned game over the whole year. I checked a few months ago, and the clear winner was Epic's erm... epic, Gears of War, obviously down to every game that involves a gun chiefly taking place mostly behind a waist high wall. But it has since fallen behind games like The Elder Scrolls, Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect, the latter of which I had actually assumed would be the most mentioned, as I've actually played both ME and ME2 twice each over the last year. But the actual most blogged about game, deservedly so, is Uncharted, with the series' second iteration taking the game world by storm just before Christmas. If I'd have known how terrified I would become of Dragon Age back then, U2 would have most definitely been my Game of the Year.

Uncharted: Officially the most popular game on 24HG.

E-mails. I've taken the e-mail button from the site now, since 24HG is no longer a one-man operation, but for a while it was there and I had a few pretty funny messages. Firstly, an offer was extended to me, following my use of lyrics from 'Borderline' in the title to my Borderlands-centric post, to join a Madonna fan club. I quickly declined, as the version of Borderline that I had in my head throughout the whole 35 hours of play that Borderlands offered was in fact a cover by pop-punk stalwarts Showoff. But the offer was nice. I had an overwhelming amount of e-mails (like, three of them!) asking me to review Final Fantasy XIII, and I still haven't. And let's just say my treatment of Modern Warfare 2 didn't go down well. And finally, I had a very politely worded e-mail asking me to give up the name '24 Hour Gamer' and my login details for my Twitter account. Needless to say, I didn't.

I'll review it one day. Probably. Possibly.

Speaking of Twitter, I set up my account (@Pete_24HG, or follow Trev @TjStan if he ever tweets again) alongside the blog to whore my posts out to anyone who'd listen. It's seen me post about everything from Blockbuster pricing the first Fallout 3 Expansion disk at £40 to awesome fictional metal bands in Alan Wake, but perhaps most noteworthy was my 1000th tweet, which read like a Shakespearean sonnet: "@MarkySharky Kiss my ass :p".

So onwards and upwards then. Hopefully, with Trev on board, 24HG should continue to expand over the next year, potentially with Podcasts, video reviews and joint pieces, maybe even a forum or something, who knows? We're open to suggestions too, anything YOU'D like to see, just pop it in the comments box, tweet at us, or e-mail one of us at the24hourgamer@googlemail.com or thetrevstan@googlemail.com and let us know.

Finally, a big thanks to everyone who's helped out: To Trev 24HG for extending his hand in aid, like Elika catching the 2008 Prince of Persia as he plummets into a chasm for the 4000th time (one day I'll compare you to a male character). To Susie, my wife, who not only actively encourages me to game, but also soundly kicked my ass on Guitar Hero Arcade on our actual honeymoon. To MarkySharky and CtrlAltKill of Twitter, for drilling into me the need to space paragraphs and add images respectively. To Paul and Raz7el, for always offering good videogame chat. To 30-Something Gamer for being my first follower and providing a great blog for me to read. Imagine Publishing's Dan Howdle for inadvertently mentioning the site in his Podcast a few times. The guys at the NowGamer forums. Paul_LFC at VideoGame Space. And everyone who's read and/or commented here at 24HG. It's been a good year.

New Tech Level Available

2010-07-10T00:04:00.002+01:00

In a bid to be able to actually review some of the newer games on PC (Or run them at some sort of decent speed), I have decided to buy it a new processor.

I SHALL not bore you with my specs, at the same not humiliating myself by giving them you... But I should, after this upgrade, be able to give you at least a real review of Dawn of War 2, which is supposed to be great, however when it runs at 8 fps when a lot is going on, it kinda sucks, and makes me think how bad it would be if I were Superman and the world went at 8 fps (I don't know the exact Superman fps of life... lol). Also a review of King Arthur, which runs fine at the moment, but I want it to run BETTER!

SO YES I will let you know how that goes, as my PC is the Highlander of all PCs, it destroys lesser ones to become more powerful.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!

Buster bowl me over with your bogus dance, shuffle me off my feet, even though I'll keep on runnin', I'll never get to Orange Street...

2010-07-06T22:46:00.001+01:00

Thought I'd have a bit of a catch-up on what I've been playing recently, as with all of the changes and what have you I've barely had time to post about the awesome, average and absolutely arse games I've been playing. So, for old time's sake, here goes.

Firstly, for the sole benefit of Paul, Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles. A sequel to last year's Umbrella Chronicles, TDC is an on-rails shooter that follows the events of Resident Evil 2, Code: Veronica, and the mission that was alluded to in RE4, the first meeting between Leon and Krauser. Firstly, it seems that Leon has a very selective memory, as the story is told through Leon's flashbacks, and everything seems to revolve around him. Even the bits of RE2 where he wasn't even canonically there, are retold with him as some sort of action hero. And he does it all in his husky Batman voice, not the pre-pubescent whinge that he actually had back then. And while I'm on it, he had nothing to do with Code: Veronica at all, yet still recalls it.

Surely there are better ways to pierce your naval, Claire.

Okay then, good news first. The game is a far, far better play than it's predecessor. It's a lot more intense, and the fact that you can actually see your allies around you makes it feel far more cinematic. As a nostalgia trip it's unequaled. The graphics are absolutely astounding for a Wii game, and the Havok engine powering the physics makes the environment come alive in a way that the console isn't used to. But the visuals do have their faults: Both Leon and C:V sidekick Steve Burnside look identical (a lot like the tranny from Hollyoaks now you come to mention it), and probably shouldn't have been in the same game. But I suppose that's more down to poor character design than anything else.

But every silver-lined cloud is pissing on somebody somewhere, and none more than I. While the graphics are great, they push the Wii a bit too far, and as a result the shadows look awful. The dialogue is terrible, with characters repeatedly stating the obvious, spouting lines like 'I hate this' (no shit) and 'They won't let us through!'. They're Zombies, Leon, not fucking bouncers. The 'shakey cam' makes aiming a nightmare at times too, and the awful treatment of Robert Kendo, one of my series favourites, sent me into a rage. Lastly, for an on-rails shooter, the game is too long, a far cry from the throwaway 10-minute fun fests like House of the Dead and Ghost Squad.

Errrrrr... ModNation Racers! The PS3's premier kart racer is average at it's core, but saved thanks to it's user-friendly creation tools and fantastically creative and talented fanbase. I find myself spending more time downloading characters and karts than actually playing it, exactly how I was with M.U.G.E.N. on the PC. The create mode is easy and accessible too, which is great, because I never got to grips with LittleBigPlanet's tools at all. MNR had me creating like a pro within minutes.

That's right, creator, you stick it to the man!

So the game tries to be a perfect marriage of LittleBigPlanet and Mario Kart, yet fails to encompass the charm of either. It's relentless attempts at being 'street' alienate those who don't buy into that crap, and Mario's game engine is far simpler and accessible to a younger audience, with MNR confusing matters with drifting, stacking powerups and an accumulative boost meter. So for these reasons it stalls at the finishing line. Good, but not great.

Alpha Protocol then. Basically a merging of two of my favourite things, the gameplay of Mass Effect and the theme of 24, it stands apart from other games of the RPG genre by being set in a contemporary real-world setting, packed with espionage and action. Strapping on the shoes of Mike Thorton, you are the newest recruit of the titular government agency thrust into a world of combat and subterfuge when you are forced to go rogue.

Keep your gun on him, he's definitely a terrorist!

Below average graphics and stereotypical characters and dialogue are the only tarnishes on an otherwise brilliant western RPG, with a twisting plot that genuinely does revolve around your every action. The developer, Obsidian, has constantly bragged about the game's ability to channel the 'Three JBs'; James Bond, Jason Bourne and Jack Bauer, but truth be told, mine was more like a very Torchwood-esque John Barrowman: morally ambiguous and shagging anything he can get his hands on.

I'll not go much further with this one, because my colleague Trev and I are planning a joint review, but I'll just say, I was greatly saddened when I read that Sega have ruled out a sequel thanks to poor sales. The Man wins again. Sigh.

Finally, I've been hopping, skipping and wall-running through the Wii version of Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands. Far from a port, the Wii version is a completely different animal to it's HD cousins, with a whole new, unrelated storyline and different powers and a more strategic combat system more akin to that in The Sands of Time. And while it takes cues from the main TFS release and TSOT, it also has a few throwbacks to the 2008 PoP too, with the power plates helping you to traverse the environment, and a 'never die' mechanic replacing the time powers once more (although you can only be rescued a few times before being sent back to a checkpoint). It's great for fans of the genre like yours truly, but a lack of classic controller support harms it in a big way once your arm starts to ache.

And while I'm on the subject, I saw the Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time movie to last week. It's enjoyable, but not particularly close to the source material in any way, save for three scenes which are nearly identical to key moments in the game. Jake Gyllenhaal is truly awful, with his sad puppy looks and dialect-hopping English accent, but fantastic turns from Alfred Molina, Ben Kingsley and a surprise appearance from Richard Coyle (voice of Keats, the protagonist from PS3 RPG Folklore, and the infamous Jeff Murdoc in BBC sitcom Coupling) who absolutely steals the show, all is forgiven. And if it does anything right, it's the boy/girl chemistry thing that I loved about the TSOT game and the 2008 PoP. Good, disposable fun.

He may look like a dejected Labrador, but he's still more attractive than Maggie.

Right, back to my cave then. This Saturday 24HG hits it's first anniversary, so I'll see you then. Ta!

Here comes a new challenger!

2010-07-06T17:26:00.001+01:00

Hello everyone,
This is just a quick post to introduce myself, I'm Trev 24HG!
I'll be posting my thoughts and features up here on 24HG as they come to me; so I won't really have any structure.....

I would have introduced myself earlier but due to the freaking Steam sale on PC games, I have spent quite a bit on amazing PC games, even though I'm sure SOMEBODY won't agree to how epic the games are, as they are for the PC.....

I own many consoles and games, and old computers too. I will try and take you through some of the amazing times I have had with gaming past, present and future (Even though I can't really take you through the future....).
So I am hoping to write about retro and up to date news, and also maybe some features along the way!
I warn you now that I am no writer, but I will get better as I get used to this stuff.

I have varied opinions on a lot of games, and knowledge of quiiiiiiiite a few! If anyone wants me to look into a game and review one, for any console or computer, I will look into it. BUT nothing obscure (Atari Jaguar), nothing I would have to sell my soul or mother to own (3DO) or something that would eventually make me look like Judge Doom the Toon with prolonged use (Virtual Boy).

But anyway, glad to be here, and my posts will get better as I get used to this shiiiiiiiiiiiit!

Anyways I'm off to play an amazing game I got on the Steam sale, King Arthur, it's freaking AWESOME!

And remember, the princess is always in the last castle you check.....

Yeah, that's right baby! Ergonomic management keyboard... (or Why PCs Suck for Gaming)

2010-07-03T10:24:00.002+01:00

Recently, while surfing the net on my laptop, one of the hinges holding the screen on just dropped off. Sensing this was an indication of said laptop's imminent mortality, I dusted off the old credit card and fired up the Curry's website. A couple of days later I was the proud owner of a refurbished Packard Bell EasyNote TJ71, with a 500gb HDD, 4gb of memory and some kind of AMD gubbins or whatever. I was reliably informed by Trev that it was a good machine, especially for the price, a cool breeze under £400.

So, after a couple of days of getting used to it, I signed up to Steam. Eager to see what the machine could potentially do, I quickly downloaded the Mass Effect 2 demo, and fired it up. To my joy, and honest surprise, it played the game, out of the box so-to-speak, perfectly at it's default settings. Which is, to say, as good as the 360 version.

So yesterday I had a look on Steam again, and they were offering Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas at 75% off, a meager £2.49, so I got my wallet. Now, the game ran perfectly, it has to be said. With the detail set to 'Very High', there wasn't a stutter. The problems came when I decided to try out my 360 joypad with it. The right analogue stick wasn't detected, the triggers didn't work, and the game couldn't differentiate between the left analogue stick and the D-pad. Tried out a PS2 controller through a USB adapter, the game didn't even acknowledge it.

A quick search on the Internet told me that GTA:SA was riddled with such controller issues, and downloading a program called SAAC would remedy it. So I did, but lo and behold, SAAC wouldn't work. Apparently it was made using Visual Basic 6, and when Microsoft brought out Windows 7, they decided that nobody in the whole universe would ever need to use that again, and thus got rid of it.

So I turned to a program called XPadder (which I had to download two versions of, thanks again to Microsoft making everything obsolete whenever they upgrade their OS), a program that allows you to map keyboard keys and such to another imput device, such as my XBox360 pad, which worked well enough. I fired up GTA once more, and entered the controller set up, and copied the PS2 control scheme to the best of my memory. Finally I was cruising around Los Santos without cramping my hands over the touch pad and forgetting the functions of endless keys.

But the fun came when it came to taking a corner, as XPadder didn't cater for analogue controls, and as such a simple tap on the left analogue stick equaled to full-lock on the steering wheel. Conversely, on foot I could do nothing but sprint at full pelt. The triggers, too, only functioned properly if I fully released them between shots, which sounds obvious, but I guarantee you never actually do.

So, call me over-precipitous, but PC Gaming sucks a lot of arse. A whole night wasted trying to get an ancient game to run in a half-decent way, when a decade-old games console can handle it without complaint. Sorry, but I'm a console gamer.

Two heads are better than one, it's double the pleasure, baby, triple the fun

2010-07-02T19:18:00.000+01:00

As I mentioned a few weeks ago, there were to be changes made around here. And, as I mentioned, I was looking to take on a young ward, to keep things interesting here and give a wider spectrum of gaming views.

So enter Trev 24HG, the Yorda to my Ico, only with a beard. Being as my gaming takes place mostly around the Wii and PS3, It's very convenient that Trev is more of a 360/PC man, so there will be more coverage where it was lacking before. He's also into a few pretty niche games that I wouldn't ordinarily play, stuff like Dynasty Warriors and Role-Playing Games like Blue Dragon and Lost Odyssey, so I believe he will make the 24HG experience all the more richer, as it shakes off the loner image and becomes a family. That's a family in a very literal sense, you see, I'm married to his sister after all.

So, as 24 Hour Gamer ventures into it's second year of existence, you (and I) can look forward to the same shit from me, and a fresh you outlook on things from my new partner in crime, Trev 24HG. Who knows, we might even surprise you with some new features here and there...

Canis Lupus, the domestication of the dog - We all love dogs!

2010-06-23T11:38:00.000+01:00

Holy crap! I just learned that the 23rd of June is in fact none other than 'Take your dog to work day'! So, to celebrate this, possibly my new favourite national holiday of all time, I've decided to compile a list of the greatest man's best friends to ever grace videogames! And you thought I never wrote anything useful here...

10: Sam - Sam and Max

We'll start with Sam then. He falls at tenth place because, although he is a Dog, he's just a bit too anthropomorphic. A freelance detective, with his psychotic rabbit buddy (and one-time president of the United States) Max, Sam has helped save the world more times than you can count, and has battled everything from hypnotic teddy bears to a sentient statue of Abraham Lincoln. And he never loses his temper too, making him a great choice of pet for young families...

9: Lupus - Jet Force Gemini

Making up the forth part of the eclectic Jet Force team, Lupus stormed onto the scene in one of the best (and in most need of a re-release) games on the N64. What he loses in his stumpy legs and bizarre elephant feet, he makes up for with high intelligence and a back-mounted machine gun and jetpack. Fiercely loyal and armed to the teeth, who would be better guarding your house while you sleep?

8: War Dog - Dragon Age: Origins

The Denerim equivalent of a Staffy, the War Dogs are bread specifically for battle, with their imposing muscular frame and razor-sharp teeth. Your War Dog has been with you for years, and while it still retains it's killer instinct, has become as soft as shit. He can even be coerced into licking the blood from your body after a skirmish. And you can name him anything you want without complaint, Raz7el called his Lady Gaga.

7: Shadow - Dead to Rights: Retribution

Shadow was perhaps the only thing that made Dead to Rights: Retribution worth even looking at, and that's for one reason. He bites your enemies' penises off. Next.

6: Link - Legend of Zelda: The Twilight Princess

Okay, so he's not really a dog, he's a wolf, and he's not really a wolf, he just gets turned into one for a bit, but it's my rules, you don't like it, then get out of my house. Yeah, the last Zelda game's gimmick (after the Ocarina, masks and boat) was the fact that whenever link entered the shadowy realm, he became a wolf, and was accompanied by that annoying cat thing on his back. In this form Link could talk to other animals and sniff out buried treasure, as well as fit into spaces he wouldn't be able to earlier. All in all, he was his own best friend.

5: The Dog - Fable II

How old is this fucking dog? It meets you when you are just a child, sits with you for ten years while you recover from your first run in with the game's antagonist, follows your for about ten years, then waits another decade while you're in prison. And after all that, it can still chase a ball, find treasure and charm villagers like a puppy in it's prime. The best thing about the Dog in Fable II though, is how realistic it's movements are, how it's ears flap about when it runs, and those whimpers when it gets injured can melt a heart of stone. There's going to be a dog in Fable 3 too, probably the same fucking one.

4: Dogmeat - Fallout 3

I only knew Dogmeat for about 20 minutes, as after rescuing him from Raiders I let him out of my sight for a few minutes and he was set upon by a pack of Mole Rats. I went all Anakin Skywalker on their asses when I found them, but the loss of a companion was deeply distressing. Until I got the Puppies perk, now I've got a never-ending army of mangy wasteland mutts. Glory be. So yeah, all Darth Vader needed was a 'Mummies' perk.

3: Spiffy - The Secret of Monkey Island

Ah, Spiffy. I remember seeing his happy face on the back of the Monkey Island box, and being frustrated that he never appeared in close-up in the game. All this was rectified with last year's Monkey Island Special Edition, and he was presented in all his glory. A key character in the game, it is Spiffy who first tells Guybrush about the impending arrival of the Ghost Pirate LeChuck, by barking out certain words like the Walls Sausages Dog. Woof-woof, arf. Wuf-LeChuck.

2: K.K. Slider - Animal Crossing

One of my all-time favourite videogame characters, Totakeke (or K.K. Slider, his stage name) visits your town every Saturday evening to play free concerts for anyone who'll listen. He even hands out recordings of his work, and never asks for a penny. And he even turns up in Super Smash Brothers Brawl too, if one plays the game on a Saturday night. And his name is a Judas Priest reference, which just adds to his awesome.

1: Mira - Silent Hill 2

Perhaps the most famous dog in gaming, Mira was a Shiba Inu that was secretly behind the events of Silent Hill 2. James, the protagonist, finds her in her control room, but when he confronts her, she just licks his face and sings him a song, and all is fine again. She made another appearance in Shattered Memories, apparently somehow in league with the series' secret alien observers, but that cheery barking melody is what sealed her a place in my heart. I now vow to have a pet dog called Mira at some point in my life. And another called Spiffy.

Turn and face the strain, ch-ch-changes... Just gonna have to be a different man...

2010-06-15T17:45:00.000+01:00

As most of you probably don't know, 24 Hour Gamer is fast approaching it's first birthday, and as such, there's gonna be a few changes around here.

First and foremost, the weekly schedule is GONE. Trying to keep things fresh on a weekly basis is a huge strain, on both my bank account, tasked with giving me at least two new games to play every week, and my free time, on actually playing these games to completion in time to write about them. As a result of the latter, I'm passing on games too quickly and not getting the most out of them.

Also, there have been times when I've not been particularly inspired, and the week's post hasn't been a very interesting read as a result. More flexibility will give me the freedom to write as inspiration strikes, keeping things more interesting. So this, right here, is the last Tuesday blog. Well, not necessarily the last blog ever to fall on a Tuesday, but, you know what I mean.

Secondly, I'm ditching my other blog, Gaming Overtime. All of the content usually found on there, as sporadic as it was, will now be posted over here. With my time-limits being more relaxed from the first change, there'll likely be more of such content too.

Thirdly, and finally, the more astute among you will have noticed my user-name change from '24 Hour Gamer' to 'Pete 24HG'. Reason is, I'm thinking of taking on a second writer. This will keep things moving quicker, and inform about games that I wouldn't ordinarily play. I've got a couple of people in mind, but if anyone else would like to join me, then please, get in contact.

So that's that! I still hope to inform and entertain like I always have, but on a more casual, informal basis. When E3 is over, I'll likely post a roundup of highlights, and I'm knee-deep in the very noteworthy Resident Evil: The Darkside Chronicles on Wii at the moment, so expect a post about that soon. Just not in a week.

I wanna be a Cowboy, baby...

2010-06-08T15:47:00.000+01:00

John Marston. Rough rider. No, you don't want nada. None of this six gun in this, brother running this. Buffalo soldier, look, it's like I told you. Any damsel that's in distress, she'll be out of that dress when she meets John Marston.

That's quite enough of that. Yes, as I said last week, I've caved and brought home a copy of Rockstar's latest insta-classic opus Red Dead Redemption. It was the Sunday before last, I'd finished Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands in probably about five hours, and, despite enjoying it greatly, was stinging a little because I'd opted to side with the underdog, and re-home that from the shelves of my local HMV instead of Red Dead. My reasoning was that The Prince had a better track record, with The Sands of Time being fantastic, and the 2008 PoP and PoP Classic both being enjoyable too, whereas Red Dead Revolver was a steaming (but apt) pile of horse shit. Besides, between Calamity Jane, Brokeback Mountain and the Village People, cowboys are about the gayest thing in the universe. But I knew deep down, that if I had bowed down to Rockstar's invariably foul-mouthed, violent and morally ambiguous genius, I'd probably have barely scratched the surface by then.

And to make matters worse, as I sat sulking with my wallet running on empty, my wife had offered to buy it for me, and her two brothers and the girlfriend of the eldest (who, might I add, is not a fan of videogames at all) were all siding with her. Now, I don't like charity, which often causes animosity in my marriage, but after a couple of hours the temptation was killing me. I gave in, and let a higher power make the decision for me.

The Magic 8-ball said "Looking good".

So, as tradition goes, I'll start from the beginning. John Marston is an ex-gang runner, who has renounced his ways and settled down with a wife and sired a son and daughter, the latter claimed from him before the events of the game. All is going well in his new life (well, dead daughter aside), until some government types turn up and abduct his family and force him into picking up his shootin' irons once more and hunting down the very men he used to ride with. And that's where you, the player, comes in.

The game can be very atmospheric at times, it makes you forget that you're being chased by bandits.

Right from the outset the game's ties to Grand Theft Auto are obvious, with the HUD being virtually the same, and the look and feel being very similar too. So, in order to keep this post from becoming an essay, I'll avoid retreading old ground and focus on what's different from it's spiritual predecessor. First and most obvious is the fact that you're riding horses, not cars. The horses are controlled much in the same way as maneuvering your character, allowing you to gallop by tapping the X button (that's a PS3 X, A if you're on the 360) at the cost of stamina. I have seen a few rudimentary cars in cutscenes, but I'll confess I don't know if you get to drive any.

Commandeering a horse is far more complex than simply approaching them and pressing Triangle too, one must first lasso the beast, then approach it, mount it (with Triangle) and then use the analogue sticks to keep balance while the steed throws a tantrum for a minute or so. Then, once you hitch it to a post outside a property you own, it's yours, and will come to you whenever you whistle for it.

Next there's the setting. After GTA IV's sprawling city, RDR's wild west locale has more in common with Fallout 3, although there's a lot less to see. RDR's world is basically split into three categories: deserts, canyons and ramshackle shanty towns, so it does tend to get a little bit monotonous. So it's good that there are a lot more random encounters than in GTA IV to break up the tedium, from full-blown side missions with their own story arcs, to simple chase downs and protect missions. The first one I encountered was a guy in the desert who asked me for a lift. As I slowed down beside him, he lassoed me from my saddle and was off with my horse like lightning. My rifle put an end to that.

My one and only gripe is that the protagonist, John Marston, is a 'reformed character who's done a lot of bad things in his life and renounced his ways only to be forced back into them once more, even though he only wants to get along and not cause any trouble'. So that's Niko Bellic, Johnny Klebitz, Luis Lopez, Carl Johnson and Jimmy Hopkins, from the last few GTAs and Bully respectively, all over again. it's becoming a bit too noticeable now Rockstar.

In conclusion, the game is fucking brilliant. Redemption is a very apt title, as it improves no end over Revolver, and the atmosphere is great too, helped along by a soundtrack that's very reminiscent of that of Bully in places. Yet another contender for Game of the Year.

I've also had a bash on Lost Planet finally, and it's not bad. When I first played it years ago, I instantly hated the game for it's piss poor controls and aiming mechanic, but I've given it more of a chance now and am able to look past it. It feels very old-school, and indeed looks like it's been ported from a PS2 release, a bit like Phantasy Star Universe does. In fact, it has a very similar feeling to Dirge of Cerberus: Final Fantasy VII, only a fair bit better. Not bad at all.

Vampires. They might do a lot of things, but they don't fucking sparkle.

And back to Oblivion (let it be known that at any given time somebody in my house will be playing Oblivion, at least until Bethesda get off their arses and give us a sequel). I've been struggling with the dreaded Vampire Cure quest this week, although the addition of The Wizard's Tower DLC made things a lot easier than the last time I did it. I still can't see any advantage to being a vampire in that game. And take heed: Shepherds Pie does not cure vampirism. Just in case you're ever struck down by it, in Oblivion or real life.

And finally, after wading through an epoch of updates and faulty matchmaking systems, blogger Raz7el, regular commenter Paul and I managed to get a co-op game going on Resistance 2 yesterday, only for it to end up being an unplayable mess. So we then endured the same updates on Uncharted 2 and tried out the co-op modes that Nate and co had to offer, and they were an absolute blast, if a bit short on content. The competitive side of things wasn't that great, but the three co-op scenarios provided us with a couple of hours of thrills so all is not lost. I really should give that another playthrough sometime. But for now, I'm off to play more Read Dead, in hope that I might meet this lady. Wicky wicky wild wild.

Tibet is about the best co-op level, offering platforming as well as shooting.

Supplemental: I feel obligated to mention that I fired up Red Dead last night after posting and was immediately treated to lush forests and snowy mountain tops. I thought a week and a half was enough time to play this before writing, I was obviously wrong.

All human life is here, from the feeble old dear, to the screaming child...

2010-06-01T17:58:00.000+01:00

"I have to say, I was disappointed in this book. It was well written don't get me wrong, but it wasn't in the least bit funny."

That, ladies and gentlemen, is a genuine quote from a review of Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy on Amazon.co.uk. Christina Martin, the author of that quote, you are a special, special person. Of course it's followed by a comment pointing out the hand-clapping retardedness of the review, and sequentially a retort from Ms. Martin claiming to be a patron of sarcasm instead of a window licker, but when someone is that keen to cover their tracks after saying something like that, you have to worry.

Now where was I? Oh yeah. Dante's Inferno, a game developed for release earlier this year by Visceral and published by EA, is a... well, I'm sure there's an official term for the genre, but if any game deserves to be called a God of War clone, it's this one. It's a videogame adaptation of Inferno, the first part of The Divine Comedy, and chronicles the titular Dante, now re-imagined as a Knight Templar, on his quest to reclaim the soul of his lost love Beatrice from the clutches of a decidedly well-endowed Satan, after his own sins condemned her to hell.

I'm not even going to try and sugar coat the God of War references, the game is God of War, just not as good. That's not to say it's a bad game by any means, it just lacks the epicness and polish of even the last generation second of Sony's trilogy, and just seems bland and incomplete in comparison. Hell, for instance, is really well-imagined during the first couple of levels, but after the Lust section (think phallically-shaped towers, writhing scantily clad whores who attack with concealed penises and a 100ft tall woman with mouths for nipples that lick their lips and lactate unbaptised babies), and the fleshy bile-filled Gluttony, the other circles just become routine and virtually identical to each other, and each of them seems to be a short walk followed by a boss fight, rinsed and repeated. When you do come to a puzzle, often the screen is so dark that it's frustratingly difficult to work out what to do as well.

It's hard not to make a Connection between Dante's Inferno and Assassin's Creed too, with Dante being a Templar, and the sect being illustrated as evil in this media too. Not to mention the fact that the short chapters set on Earth are in Acre and Florencia, major settings in AC and ACII respectively. Assassin's Creed II also references Dante Alighieri too, along with Marco Polo, which struck me as clever marketing on Ubisoft's part by drawing association with Dante's Inferno and Uncharted 2, two other major franchises. Who knows?

Be thankful for what this image actually doesn't show.

So anyway, Dante is a very average game, but enjoyable. To those of us who are owners of the XBox 360 exclusively, and no doubt won't admit their burning envy of their God of War playing peers, the game is a godsend. For me, however, it was a decent warm-down session after GoWIII's sensory assault. If I was to give my reviews a score, Dante would be somewhere around the mid-seventies.

Back onto Metro 2033 then, eh? I've come to the conclusion that yes, I do in fact like the game. It's just very hard work. The gas mask filters that were once a very scarce commodity eventually become commonplace, and the weapons gradually get upgraded (my assault rifle, for instance, began as a 'Bastard Gun', a cobbled together atrocity of a weapon which sprays bullets everywhere apart from where you're aiming, and I now carry a scoped AK 47). I've decided that it feels like a piece of Fallout 3 DLC, which at £40 is a little bit steep. I definitely recommend it, but wait until it depreciates in value a smidgen first.

Metro 2033 paints a considerably bleaker post-apocalypse than Fallout 3.

Finally in this week's short-but-sweet report, I've had a go with Invizimals on the PSP. The latest contender to the Pokemon phenomenon's throne, Invizimals comes bundled with the PSP's digital camera, which once equipped allows the player to search for the obligatory tiny battling creatures in one's own home, the bus, the toilet, wherever you want. Once an 'Invizimal' is found, the player catches it, usually by performing an act of animal cruelty such as shooting or hitting them with the palm of your (real life) hand until they submit.

Once captured, the domesticated critter can be forced into cutesified cock-fights with other Poke... Invizimals, which operate more like a one on one fighting game than the turn-based battles in Nintendo's established franchise, and works to a degree, but it's more based on timing than statistics.

And the whole thing is interrupted by filmed cutscenes featuring an annoying hyperactive Japanese 'PSP Scientist' and, who else, the mighty Brian Blessed, who's booming English tutorials give a similar feeling to the patronising tones of Stephen Fry in LittleBigPlanet. In short, Pokemon is awesome, the technology utilized is awesome, and Brian Blessed is awesome. Pokemon might be better, but this is a great alternative for PSP users.

If this picture doesn't make you want to go out and buy Invizimals you're dead inside.

So there you are, a theme! A poor man's God of War, Fallout 3 and Pokemon, right there for you. I know I said I'd play Lost Planet, but truth be told, I've spent too much time playing Red Dead Redemption for that. Yeah, thanks to the generosity of my wife, I have Rockstar's epic, but I'm neglecting to write about it just yet, as three days just isn't enough time for it to fully sink in. So I'm not going to bother closing by saying what to expect next week, because I never live up to it. Apart from Red Dead that is, you can expect that.

This is what it sounds like... when doves cry...

2010-05-26T17:08:00.000+01:00

Ah, medieval Persia. A place of great beauty. A place of technological wonder. A place where villains are grandiose and theatrical, and heroes are gallant, chivalrous and Caucasian.

So Friday saw me perhaps foolishly overlook Red Dead Redemption in favour of Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands, the 10th game in the PoP series and not a sequel to 2008's un-subtitled Prince of Persia, but an 'interquel' set in between The Sands of Time (which I played last week) and Warrior Within. And it is definitely NOT a movie tie-in.

I did have the game preordered at GAME, along with a limited edition pack of PoP playing cards, but after seeing the queue for Rockstar's Wild West opus, I ducked into HMV instead, whom I discovered were giving away the 1981 version of The Clash of the Titans on BluRay with every purchase of The Forgotten Sands on the PS3. Sold.

So anyway. The prince (unofficially named Dastan in the upcoming Disney film) has been sent by his father (who you had to slay in the first game, having become a sand monster, although that never happened due to the prince rewinding time to before the event, stay with me) to the kingdom of his elder brother, Malik, to learn how to be a successful ruler. Upon his arrival, he finds Malik's palace under siege from unknown invaders, and Malik himself fighting a losing battle. As a last resort Malik unleashes the fabled army of King Solomon, which happens to be an unlimited swarm of sand creatures led by a huge demon named Ratash. With the help of Razia, Ratash's benevolent female counterpart, and the powers she bestows upon him (conveniently including the ability to rewind time a few seconds) the prince has to find a way to defeat the demon and banish the army before the world is overrun and all is lost.

The ice power makes for some very tense moments.

Initially I felt like the game was holding my hand a little bit compared to the prequel, all of the moves and actions seem a lot easier to pull off, and everything moves a lot slower giving you more time to pull them off. The combat has also been noticeably simplified, sacrificing strategic thinking and positioning for waves and waves of easily killed but overwhelmingly numerous enemies for the player to wade through, which sounds like a negative point but in all actuality is extremely satisfying. The major new point is the prince's ability to flash-freeze water, allowing himself access to previously unreachable locations.

Aside from that, the game is pretty much what you'd expect from the series: puzzle-solving, acrobatics and a healthy dose of swordplay. The graphics are spot-on, highly detailed, and the only two visual qualms I had are with the prince himself: his face is distinctly simian looking and his arms have a plastic look about them, similar to Dead or Alive's Ryu Hayabusa. But the detail in his armour is spectacular in HD.

Well, it's an enjoyable game. I'll confess I've only played The Sands of Time and the 2008 PoP up until now, and this game lacks the boy/girl partnership that was done so well in the others. Razia pops up every so often, but it just isn't the same. But that's made up for in the game's cinematic and epic closure, set in the epicenter of a huge sandstorm. Verdict? Not going to win any awards, but fantastic fun and great for any fan of the genre.

So, Metro 2033 then? I haven't got this linking thing worked out. Metro 2033 is a post-apocalyptic First-Person Shooter based on a Russian novel of the same name. The game puts you in the shoes of Artyom, a man born in 2013, the final days of Moscow before the world was devastated by nuclear war and forced to live his first twenty years (2013 + 20 = 2033) in an underground settlement in the city's subway system (hence 'Metro') before leaving for the mutant-infested surface on a mission to save the world. As gamers, I'd forgive you if you think you've heard all this before.

But unlike Fallout 3, the game it shares it's back story with, Metro is a very linear experience, and Moscow is a lot darker and a much more depressing setting than the Capital Wasteland. The scenes set in the subterranean towns are very reminiscent of the flashback/forward scenes in The Terminator, with survivors living woefully in overcrowded squalor. Heading outside is also very different, with the game being set a lot sooner after the nuclear disaster than Fallout 3, making for a more hostile world. The air is still polluted, necessitating the use of a gas mask which requires frequent filter changes. Water is irradiated as you'd expect, and hurts you on contact as opposed to the accumulative nature of the radiation in F3.

Unable to find a Metro 2033 screenshot, I'll have to make do with this stock photo of Birmingham.

Okay, no more Fallout comparisons I promise. The game, as I've mentioned, is very dark and depressing, and mostly (so far, I've only played a couple of hours) spent skulking around in dark tunnels with hideously underpowered weaponry. Ammunition, as you can imagine, is a commodity, and is actually used as currency, with pre-war ammo worth more than the low quality bullets created after the bombs. Things begin to get a bit weird when ghosts start appearing in subway cars, and Artyom is plagued with visions of tall, lank creatures in the darkness, taking you up to just about right where I'm at.

Okay, I can't decide whether this game is really good but hard going, or really, really shit. But it definitely is one or the other. The graphics and atmosphere are both phenomenal, and the fact that the cutscenes play out in first person brings a feel of Half-Life 2 into the mix. Voice acting is hit and miss, with some of the frankly strangest accents I've ever heard flying around, and the characters are all grizzled Russian men, without fail, to the point of not being able to tell them apart. I'll reserve judgment for now, as I'm firmly on the fence with this one.

And that's about it. I finished Alan Wake, and the game seemed to lose it's way a bit. After the first half being genuinely scary, reminiscent of Jame's Herbert's fantastic novel 'The Dark', but not actually that good, the second half brings the gameplay up to scratch, with the story descending into a camp buddy comedy. The whole thing is capped off with a baffling ending that answers no questions and leaves no room for the planned sequels or DLC to follow on from. So the game, while decent, is not a patch on what it could have been.

James Herbert is about the only author this guy doesn't name-drop.

So that's that then. I'll try to be on time next week, with Dante's Inferno, hopefully a verdict on Metro 2033 and I just might possibly get my hands on the original Lost Planet. Time will tell.

Alice in Wonderland

2010-05-18T12:55:00.000+01:00

Hype is a cruel mistress. She waltzes in to a game's life and promises to spread the word, gets prospective fans excited, sends the media into a frenzy, and the ultimately undoes the game by building up a pre-reputation that it can't possibly ever live up to. Haze fell prey to this, with all the 'Halo on PS3' comments, when in reality it couldn't even hold a candle to the first Red Faction, or the PS2 port of Half-Life (Coincidentally two of the first four games I got for the console). Another casualty of hype was Fable, with verbal-diarrhea sufferer Peter Molyneux making all sorts of wild claims about features of the game that the XBox hardware couldn't even handle, and the otherwise fantastic RPG was stricken with a stigma that outlived the game's own lifespan.

I am going somewhere with all of this, I promise you. Alan Wake (a game that not even I had seen coming in this week's blog) has been in development for nine years, and was formally announced five years ago, and in that time, particularly in the last year or so, has fallen for lady hype hard.

I think the stupidest thing I'd heard was "It's like Heavy Rain on the 360", because the game is everything but that. If anything, it's more like Siren Blood Curse. Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I don't dislike Alan Wake, it's just decidedly average. A storyline that is genuinely gripping and involving (at least after a few hours anyway) is buried under a torrent of disgusting voice-acting, one-dimensional characters and graphics and animation that are just not up to the standard of the rest of this year's releases - Alan himself looks like he's having a stroke, and he seems to bare his teeth at people all the time, like a territorial dog. But hey, at least the 'Energizer' logo is clearly readable on the batteries you find lying around everywhere, and that's the important thing, right? In-game advertising? Anyway.

I see your schwartz is as big as mine...

The story goes: Alan Wake is a successful author, leather elbow pads and all, but has suffered epic writer's block since his last novel three years prior to the events of the game. His wife, Alice, attention seeking jerk and scared-of-the-dark woman-child, decides to lure him to some backwater hick town (which has somehow become a tourist trap despite looking like a bad northern council estate) under false pretense of having a quiet holiday, when really she was just trying to muse him into churning out another pay cheque.

The holiday is cut short however, when Alice is taken by dark forces and Wake looses two weeks of his life, only coming back to consciousness when he is involved in a car crash to find that he's written a book that's slowly coming true. And to top it all off, a dark entity is sweeping over the town and possessing the locals. Shit.

Alan Wake plays like a 'best of' from other franchises. Combat, for instance, is played out with a torch, that you must use to burn the 'dark energy' from your foes, before finishing them off with a couple of bullets, almost exactly like ObsCure. Then there's the bit where swarms of birds are attacking you, and you have to burn them by boosting your torch at them, like the driving section in Gears. Not enough? The enemies are all axe-wielding lumberjacks, who approach you slowly and throw their infinite reserves of hatchets at you, literally exactly like Resident Evil 4 (there are even Chainsaw bad guys that take more damage), even the animations could be ripped directly from Capcom's opus. The car crash scene is near frame-for-frame exactly like the first Silent Hill, and the use of flares as weapons is taken straight from the last. And the episodic formula is ripped from Alone in the Dark and Siren Blood Curse. I could go on all day.

But I won't. because Wake has a saving grace in it's story, which seemed pretty by the book until a plot twist turned everything upside down at the end of the third episode, which was where I last switched off, and I'm looking forward to going back to it tonight. Oh yeah, the collector's edition is fantastic too, and only the same price as the game itself at most places.

I've also gone back to the first of last generation's Prince of Persia games, The Sands of Time, in anticipation of the series' 'interquel', being released on friday. Regrettably, the game has aged horrifically, but it's interesting to see now how revolutionary it must have been at the time, and how that just passed me by when the game was released. You can really see how it helped shape games like Assassin's Creed, Uncharted and the last three Tomb Raiders, and other games of their ilk, and it makes you wonder where they would be if PoP never saw the light of day.

Realising you can rewind time: priceless.

As dated as it is I'm loving it, and can't believe that I've never finished it or even played the rest of the trilogy (sorry, quadrilogy now isn't it), because as a rule I love this type of game. Needless to say, I'm going to go out of my way to complete the story in the near future.

And after getting a lump in my throat over braining Sean Paul in Def Jam: Fight for NY the other week, I grabbed a copy of it's PSP port The Takeover last week. It's a little disappointing that the cutscenes are absent and the fighting is limited to one-on-one, but the core gameplay is still there. The great thing about Def Jam is that losing is just as fun as winning. You can always laugh when you realise you just got stoved in by Flava Flav, who happens to be sporting a rather nice tux.

Don't worry about the car, Xzibit was just gonna pimp it anyway.

However, the game employs one of my greatest pet peeves ever. What's the point in being able to customize your character if their skills and stats depend on what they're wearing? It's like 'yeah, you can look however you want, but if you actually want to win fights, you better wear what we tell you to'. It fucked me off in SoulCalibur IV, It's fucking me off now.

On that note I'll put a lid on it. Check back next week for Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands and possibly, just possibly, Metro 2033. Ciao.

The power you're supplying, it's electrifying!

2010-05-11T10:29:00.000+01:00

Once again I step up to the mantle with very little to write about. Who's stupid idea was it to make this a weekly thing?

Well, I had a bit more of a go with InFamous, and it still seems pretty shocking (pun intended). I noticed a very annoying game mechanic, where the main character, Cole, would automatically attach himself to the nearest ledge whenever I would jump. Yeah, this is standard in any vertical platforming game nowadays, but most usually just apply it to the ledges you're aiming at, not just any that happen to be near you. I was chasing some kind of visual memory of a target who'd been there previously, to find his current whereabouts, and when I jumped over a dumpster I ended up dangling from an adjacent bus stop and losing my quarry.

You'll survive that fall. Stub your toe and you're fucked.

Cole also has a bit of a Superfriends-era Superman thing going on, in that he seems to develop a convenient new power every time a scenario demands it. Upon finding a dead woman on the ground, Cole exclaims that he's going to try something completely off-the-wall, and touches her head. Hey fucking presto, he can read her memories, despite the fact that the brain is actually dead, holds no impulses and is effectively cat food now. Who would have known?

He also gets an ability where he is able to heal dying civilians by jolting them with his lightning powers. All well and good, if these victims are suffering from a massive cardiac arrest and need defibrillating, but they are mostly dying from a plague, and would probably actually not benefit at all from several thousand volts directly to the heart.

You know what, the more I write about it, the more I hate it. Fuck it, I'm shelving it. It's a ridiculous game, even for one of the Superhero genre. Cole, for all I care, can develop a hunch, and jump off a building, to see if he has a 'nosedive-into-concrete-and-survive' power. Oh wait, he did. AND IT WORKED. But about 3 bullets still kill him.

I also finally got around to trying my hand at the Borderlands expansion pack The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned. Guess what? That's pretty dick too. I don't know if I've just tired of Borderlands or what, but the game that made it into my Top 10 of last year doesn't seem to hold the same charm any more. My main problem with Zombie Island is that it just seems like they've simply bogged you down with thousands of respawning enemies to add longevity to the game, as it seems to take hours to travel a few hundred yards.

This screenshot tells you all you need to know about Zombie Island

But the thing is, I can't remember exactly what I liked so much about Borders anyway. From what I remember it was simply just walking through boring, samey landscapes and shooting things, and that's exactly what's on show with Zombie Island too. Surely there must have been something more, but if there was, it's evaded me. Anyway, I think I'm done with Borders now, the rest of the DLC will probably go untouched.

Finally, I downloaded Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection Online on the PS3. It plays pretty much exactly the same as the PSP version, which is no bad thing as said version is just about the best Tekken in the series. Haven't tried it online yet, but I have had countless hours of multiplayer on the PSP version so I know to expect more of the same, just probably with more people who actually know what they're doing, and consequently more ass-kickings for me.

Speaking of PSP, I finally let go of my frankensteined PSP 1000 (Casing and inner components of a JP white console, screen and face buttons of a UK Black one) and upgraded to an absolutely gorgeous Radiant Red PSP 3000 (I'm boycotting the PSP Go, because it's shit). The console is taking some getting used to, with the tighter analogue nub and the smooth, handgrip-less back, and obviously it's a lot lighter and quieter than the Phat, but playing LittleBigPlanet on my TV was great last night, and the UMD movies are near DVD quality even on the 21" inch screen in my bedroom.

Isn't she lovely, isn't she wonderful...

So now, with the ability to play the games without squinting at a tiny screen and being able to hold the console in my lap like a controller, instead of enduring arm-fatigue from holding it in front of my face, some of my unfinished games like Resistance: Retribution, GTA CTW and Tales of Eternia might get some more play. And upcoming games like God of War: Ghost of Sparta and Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker will seem all the more special too. Bravo Sony.

I'm Super, thanks for asking!

2010-05-04T21:06:00.000+01:00

It's amazing, that in this day and age, if a linear game takes more than six hours to complete it outlives it's welcome. GTA IV, Fallout 3, that's fine. They've got plenty of things tucked away for the ADHD generation to stumble across, and it's easy to poddle off and play something else for a few weeks and drop back into it if needs be. Yep, £40 is perfectly acceptable for six hours of disposable entertainment.

Take Darksiders for example. One of the finest games so far this generation, capturing the feel of absolutely classic games like Soul Reaver and Primal, and throwing a gripping and engaging storyline and at times jaw-dropping visuals to boot, but after 16 hours of game time, spread over the course of two weeks, it had dragged on a little bit too long.

So when I finally dropped the last enemy last night (enemy is the only word I could use which is still accurate and doesn't give anything away) and laid my pad down, I breathed a sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong, it is a fantastic game, but I was aching for something new.

"I'm a fuckin' Demon!"

But I will at least remember it fondly, and shit, I'm going to recommend it to anyone that will listen (I started that last night by passing the word on to my Elder Scrolls freak sister). As I said, the graphics are stunning in places, with vibrancy in colours on a par with Uncharted and Just Cause 2. And the voice acting is absolutely fantastic, with Mark Hamill and Moon Bloodgood leading the D-list way and Liam O'brien (me neither) doing his best Simon Templeman impersonation as the lead character. The boss fights mostly play out like N64 Zelda bosses, but it does have a go at the 'Epic Boss' style of God of War, without quite pulling it off. I also noticed that, when dismembering an enemy, the wounds are just hollow and red, no meat or bones, which is a bit of a letdown, but doesn't mar the experience and is only really noticeable in some of the larger enemies. Speaking of larger enemies, the end boss is a Fuck Off Dragon. But it's considerably easier to kill than the one in Dragon Age.

The preceding game on my shame pile turned out to be InFamous. For those who don't know, InFamous is a PS3 exclusive free-roaming Superhero game. You play as Cole McGrath, one of those annoying Parkour messengers who was unknowingly delivering a bomb to somebody when it went off, levelling half the city. Being at the epicenter of the blast, Cole naturally develops super lightning powers instead of getting vaporized. But when a plague breaks out, the city is locked off, and gang crime becomes rife. So Cole decides to become the people's protector. Or a public menace. yeah, the game has a karma system.

If you take the evil route, you actually become a Sith Lord.

Well, I've only played for like half an hour so far. Honest first impressions? well, it's a bit... shit really. Surprisingly ugly for a PS3 exclusive, and the fiddly climbing and jumping and hand to hand combat without any kind of lock-on function make it seem no better than Spider-Man 3. The only moral choice I had to make was when I found a food drop, and I could either let the citizens share it amongst themselves or take it all for myself, and sit atop my tower feasting, laughing at the starving peasants below and zapping anybody that comes near. Very black and white. So far, it's not a patch on Prototype, which I can't help but compare it to.

Moving on, Super Street Fighter IV arrived last week, much to my joy. This update to SFIV boasts ten extra characters, a new ultra combo for each character, the return of the car/barrel smashing bonus rounds, redone intros and endings and a bunch of extra multiplayer modes including 8-player team battle and a winner-stays-on type of affair, again for up to 8 players. So the fact that it wasn't just DLC is kind of justified.

Ibuki is a force to be reckoned with.

The characters are a mixed bunch. There's Adon from Street Fighter, and Cody and Guy from Final Fight (or all three of those from Street Fighter Alpha if you prefer), T. Hawk and Dee Jay from Super Street Fighter II, and Makoto, Dudley and the awesome Ibuki from Street Fighter III making a return, along with two all-new fighters. Firstly, Juri is an agent for the evil S.I.N. organization, using Taekwondo and drawing power from a 'Feng Shui device' in her prosthetic eye. Rather than give her the power to arrange furniture, it actually lets her kick fireballs at people, go figure. The second is Hakan, a Turkish oil wrestler who lubes himself up before each fight. I'm telling you, you can't make this stuff up.

Played a few rounds against Raz7el online too, and aside from quite a bit of lag, the game remains pretty tight. I also don't like to brag, but I handed his ass to him on more than a few occasions. Dan Hibiki is awesome.

Well, that's about that. Expect more of an opinion on InFamous next week, and a look at Borderlands: The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned. See ya!

I got soul, but I'm not a soldier...

2010-04-27T16:38:00.000+01:00

It's been a busy week boys and girls, but not in a good way. I've hardly had any gaming time at all this week, with the candle being burnt at both ends and all that, it's all caught up to me and as soon as the evening comes round I'm out like a light, when I would normally be gaming.

So I'm still knee deep in Darksiders, although now I'm more used to the gameplay and combat system It's gradually getting a bit easier. I'm not going to bore you with that though. I did however polish off Gay Tony (almost a double entendre, but not quite), so I moved onto another 360 title.

Soldier of Fortune: Payback is a 2007 FPS, and is perhaps most well-known for it's extreme violence. Hell, that's the only reason I bought it. It's a standard Modern Warfare style romp through various Middle Eastern and Chinese locales, the point of which is to rain down American one-man justice on everybody who doesn't fly the Stars and Stripes on their front lawn everyday, or 'terrorists' as they are commonly referred to.

I want to make it clear: This is a BAD GAME. Probably worse than Rogue Warrior. But, it is playable, due in no small part to the absolutely hilarious and over-the-top violence and piss-awful script and voice acting. Each level is just you plugging bullet after bullet into the natives of whichever country you happen to be in at the time, occasionally pausing for some banter with the female operator through your headset, usually dropping more one-liners than Arnold Schwarzenegger, and then back to the slaughter.

Nearly every shot fired severs a limb too. I was once outflanked by a marauding freedom hater, who hit me in the back with the butt of his (rather stereotypical) AK-47. In retaliation, I produced my trusty standard combat knife, and in one fell swoop, decapitated him! The comical level of violence makes carrying on worthwhile, although when I came up to a small escort section, the buddy AI resulted in more mission failures than I had patience for and I placed it back on the shelf. It had served it's purpose.

Sensing that I would have nothing else to write about this week, I hurriedly downloaded a few demos. The first of which was Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Conviction. As ashamed as I am to admit it, this is my first experience of Splinter Cell, despite owning Chaos Theory on the PS2 and never playing it. I don't know why.

The game, as far as the demo shows, is very similar the The Bourne Conspiracy, just with more refined shooting and less interesting takedowns. The interrogation at the start was fun, with a lot of detailed, if a little unbelievably OTT environmental damage, but the rest of the game failed to grab me. I might grab it a bit later on, but the fact that I have four games to catch up on first makes it a little daunting.

I also tried out Blur, which is a very old-school feeling arcade racer. It's pretty much WipEout or Rollcage, only in normal licenced cars. And CSI: Deadly Intent, which is a contender for the worst game I've ever played, with it's patronising tutorial voiceover and the graphical quality of a PSP game. It's the sort of thing you'd expect to find as a free download on the CSI website, a boring point-and-click evidence finder game, which is about as emotionally gripping as cleaning your kitchen floor. And if I was Laurence Fishburne I'd be pretty pissed about how overweight my character model looked.

Oh yeah, I won the NowGamer.com Podcast competition! At the end of each Podcast, they play a piece of music from a videogame (usually remixed or distorted in some way), and whoever identifies which game the music hails from, and is chosen from the other correct answers using the curiosity of a cat, of all things, wins a box of assorted junk from around the NG office. I answered correctly with Laura's Theme from Silent Hill 2, and was lucky enough to be drawn. I'll post over on VGSpace detailing my haul when the postie drags it to my door.

Well, short but sweet, eh? Next week I'll have a report Super Street Fighter IV, and I'll try and get Darksiders out of the way and make a start on InFamous. Tata for now.

Party for two

2010-04-20T17:35:00.000+01:00

After last week's mediocre gaming, the last seven days have come as quite a relief to me, as things have definitely looked up a bit. I started the week with survival horror title Silent Hill: Shattered Memories, opting for the Wii version over the PS2 and PSP, for unknown reasons.

Shattered Memories is a loose remake of the original SH on the PS1, one of my favourite ever games, and definitely my most replayed game ever. At my heyday I had a save file on my memory card which had saves before every single boss and all five endings, which took literally weeks to accomplish. The game's storyline was one of my favourites, and I pretty much committed it all to memory, so when the film was released and shat all over it, I was furious. Naturally, when I heard of the remake I was a little cagey.

I had kept an eye on the game throughout it's development, and with every new tidbit of information I grew less and less interested. First they decided not to include combat, then they changed the Other World from a rusted, blood and puss soaked hell, to a pretty tame Ice World, then they gave protagonist Harry Mason a frigging Cell Phone with a camera and GPS and all that, even though the original game was set in 1986, and by this point my interest in the game (and, after the completely unplayable Silent Hill: Homecoming, the series) had waned. Then they announced that the game was non-canon, and wouldn't have an affect on the greater story at all, which cheered me up a bit.

But what's the point in playing a story-driven game if it's story doesn't actually count for shit? Well, because it's fucking fantastic, that's why. The game begins just as it's source material did, with Harry regaining consciousness after a car crash and finding his young daughter Cheryl missing, and that's pretty much where the similarities end. The game swaps between two mechanics, the first being set in the real world. Solving puzzles is the order of the day, and there are some absolutely devilish ones too, and interspersed with these are some very Heavy Rain style exploration sequences (a comparison first brought to my attention by the pressing A to shout Cheryl bit at the start), were you have to use different combinations of buttons and movements to perform tasks.

Is that Katie Price?

The second mechanic takes place in the 'Ice World' and involves reaching a target destination whilst running from and evading the Raw Shocks, featureless creatures that relentlessly pursue Harry and latch on to him, lowering his body temperature until he passes out. Why the hell do I keep buying games on the Wii? Like Cursed Mountain before it, Shattered Memories requires you to fight off your enemies by performing different motions with the Wii Remote and Nunchuck, and like Cursed Mountain, most of the times these don't work properly. It makes for some very frustrating moments.

All in all, frustrations aside, SH:SM is a fantastic game, one of the best on the console. It's absolutely gorgeous too (although the same can't be said for Harry, one of the ugliest videogame characters I've ever seen), with the worlds merging in real time, and the level of detail in the environments is astounding for a Wii/last generation title. Also, between each section the game psychoanalyses you, by making you take tests in a shrink's office, and changes itself depending on your psyche, which once more is impressive on a lower powered console. A return to form for the series.

I've also been getting to grips with Grand Theft Auto: The Ballad of Gay Tony this week. Last week I expressed a disliking for it's predecessor The Lost and Damned, and can honestly say all is forgiven. Gay Tony goes back to the more tongue in cheek, humorous style of the GTAIII series, with comical over-the-top characters like GTAIV favourite Brucie Kibbutz's outrageous brother Mori, and Arab property tycoon Yusuf Amir providing out loud laughs as well as missions. Also the dancing mini game from San Andreas makes a return, but apart from the ability to replay completed missions to improve scores, there's nothing new. That doesn't matter though, when you aren't being forced to endure the painful Bike physics all the time. It's well worth getting Episodes from Liberty City just for this, The Lost and Damned is just a flawed but playable bonus.

TBOGT returns to the series' outrageous roots.

And I've spent the latter part of the week knee-deep in Darksiders, Vigil Games' contender to the God of War throne, and it's so very nearly achieving that target. The game casts you as War, one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, awoken when the end war between Heaven and Hell begins on earth. As you arrive to sort things out, you realise that you three brethren haven't turned up, and the Angels decide that you've brought about the war early for your own reasons. After a 'brief' jury, War is sent back to earth a century later to prove his innocence, despite the complete extinction/zombification of the human race.

The God of War comparison is only really valid in passing, a few hours of observing the game will show that it has just as much in common with games like Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver and Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, the former with the ruined environments and visual style, the latter with the Crossblade, a huge shuriken that acts very similarly to Link's boomerang, and the targeting system for which is virtually identical. And the way that the Crossblade can take on any elemental powers it comes into contact with is very Dark Sector.

Zelda's comparisons don't end there, War has bound to him a companion by the name of The Watcher, voiced by the legendary Mark Hamill (yeah, he's doing the Joker voice, but it's still great), who acts as the Navi to War's Link, popping out occasionally to offer advice and hints. Oh yeah, there's bomb plants too.

I have to note that the difficulty is quite unforgiving. After getting trounced on the demo, I stuck the game on the easy setting, and am still getting my arse passed to me on a regular basis. It's not quite Ninja Gaiden difficult, but it's approaching it. I'll persevere, but a rather epic boss battle with Bat-Queen Tiamat has me currently well against the ropes.

well, wrapping things up, I've had a crack at LittleBigPlanet PSP this week, which is just as good as the PS3 version, but not really better. The features are a bit more limited and Stephen Fry is at his most patronising, but the physics and graphics are top notch. Also had a bash at Final Fight: Double Impact on the 360, which is a great port. I might splash out on it, as both Final Fight and Magic Sword are both excellent retro games. Oh, and MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3! The teaser is great, especially with the appearance from Chris Redfield as he takes on the Hulk (let's face it, the only Marvel with bigger arms than Chris) at the end. It's Super Street Fighter IV next week, but it's hard to be excited now I've seen that. I'll link to it here, but don't be surprised if they take it down as I believe it was leaked early. Bye for now.

Dear Wanker. Sorry about the bang, send the bill to me arse.

2010-04-12T19:16:00.000+01:00

Ever since I'd decided to get The Saboteur, I'd been planning on using Beastie Boys lyrics as that week's blog title. "Oh my, it's a mirage. I'm tellin' y'all it's sabotage" it would say. Not too original probably, but it's so obvious that I couldn't not do it.

That was until I actually played the game, and heard the absolutely magical script. Delivered in his deadpan way, protagonist Sean Devlin spouts dialogue worthy of Shakespeare. Among my favourite lines were "You mean the guy smiling like a cat with a cream-flavoured arsehole?" or "In that case, fuck you arseways", but I decided to go with that one.

On to the game itself. You play as Sean Devlin, hard drinking, foul mouthed Irishman who hangs out in strip clubs and loves getting into fights with Germans, while staying in Paris. No, this isn't the 1998 World Cup, why it's World War II of course! But before you all groan at the prospect of yet another WWII videogame, give it chance. It's a bit different you see.

I don't think I've ever shot down a Zeppelin in a videogame before.

For a start, this isn't an FPS. It's not even a Real-Time Strategy game. And it isn't set on the front line, with you playing as Default Soldier #6 who manages to single handedly take down the Nazi regime all in a day's work. No, The Saboteur is a third person sandbox game, in very similar vein to Grand Theft Auto, and puts you in the role of an ex racing driver turned reluctant Resistance member when a prank on a German rival goes awry on the night that the Nazis invaded France, resulting in the death of his best friend. And so a tale of romance and revenge unfolds.

As well as aping Grand Theft Auto, The Saboteur also takes unlikely inspiration from Assassin's Creed, with nearly every building in Gay Paris being scalable. Although the climbing is more similar to that in Uncharted or the later Tomb Raider games, the sandbox environment brings AC to the front of your mind (helped along by the fact that there's a car called 'Altair'), and The Saboteur even has a go at viewpoints (although finding one serves no purpose other than ticking another box on your statistics counter), along with a Trophy/Achievement for Leap-of-Faith-ing from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

It also inherits Assassin's Creed's penchant for bending the truth historically. Every car in the Paris of 1939 comes as standard with Power Steering, a GPS device and not only a radio, but a radio that plays Nina Simone's 'Feeling Good' every ten minutes, despite the song being recorded 26 years after the events of the game. A TIME RADIO.

In summation, The Saboteur is a silly, above average but forgettable game. It does nothing new, but does what it does do well, and is well worth playing if you fancy something new from the WWII template, or just a laugh-out-loud, not too serious gaming experience. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone into it straight after Just Cause 2, as I kept wanting to hijack Zeppelins and couldn't, but I enjoyed it anyway. Nolan North's french accent is hilarious.

Also this week, I finally got around to playing GTA IV: The Lost & Damned. I was waiting for the Episodes from Liberty City disk to be released on the PS3 (GTA always will be a PlayStation game for me), but now it's here the 360 version is selling for half the price, so for the sake of £15 I swallowed my pride and got it.

I'll get it over with shall I? TLAD has full frontal MALE nudity in it. An OLD MAN'S PENIS. I've seen it. It's even got veins on it. I wonder who got the job of rendering that one? It's really not that big a (stop laughing) deal, especially as every game I've played recently has been full of women who can't keep their clothes on, but I understand it was very controversial at the time. People, eh?

There, you've seen it. No reason to play it now.

TLAD is actually a bit disappointing. The story is so far predictable and the characters uninteresting. I'm going to predict, nay, I pretty much KNOW that Billy, the leader of your Biker Gang, is going to end up being the main antagonist. And Johnny Klebitz, your hero, is just a Biker version of San Andreas' Carl Johnson, the voice of reason during cutscenes and a thoroughly nice guy, who then goes around committing atrocities with reckless abandon as soon as the missions kick in. Doesn't really make him a believable character.

The new gameplay mechanics aren't really welcome either. By riding in formation with your gang, you automatically fix your bike and heal yourself, even to the point of actually growing body armour out of your skin. Then there's things like arm wrestling mini games and stuff, along with the standard racing and vehicle collecting side quests. I'll be honest, I haven't tried any of these, and don't feel the urge to, ever.

All being said, It's still GTA though, and GTA will always be great. I think I'm ready for a new city though, and after The Saboteur I'm hoping for some countryside (albeit minus the exploding cows) on Rockstar's next car-jacking epic, like they did with San Andreas. Everyone I've spoken to says Gay Tony is a 100% improvement though, so lets wait and see.

And that brings me onto my final (not a pun) game of the week, PSP fighting game Dissidia: Final Fantasy. The prospect of a fighter featuring the main hero and villain from each of the first ten Final Fantasy games (plus, bafflingly, a random guy from FFXII and a little... 'thing' from FFXI) is enough to send many an RPG geek into a coma. The whole game is fan service, with the intro sequence littered with gratuitous 'what if' shots of Squall fighting Sephiroth and loads of other fights that would probably be monumental if I knew who the fuck half of the characters were.

I dove into the story mode, and, like 95% of all Square Enix games it was overly complicated and so, so boring it made me want to cry. It slammed me into the boots of one of the nameless assholes from Final Fantasy 1 and made me fight a 'false warrior' (that's a pallet-swap of yourself, in layman's terms), then repeated with other filler enemies before sticking me against the respective foe of my character. Then it was the same again with the FFII character. Sensing I was in for a long trawl before I got to see any characters I actually gave a shit about (especially since they didn't include Luneth from the DS remake of FFIII, in favour of an unnamed 'Onion Knight'), I headed into the Arcade Mode.

Probably won't be though.

Arcade Mode was an improvement, simpler and more accessible. I naturally jumped straight into Cloud Strife's shoes, and I won't lie, performing an Omni Slash on Squall Leonheart was the most satisfying thing I've done in a game since slamming Sean Paul's head in a car door in Def Jam: Fight for NY. But it still failed to grab me. I suppose it's an okay substitute for Tekken or SoulCalibur, but I actually have Tekken and SoulCalibur, so it's pointless. But it is the closest thing we have to a sequel to Ehrgeiz, so I have to be somewhat grateful. Oh well, they tried. I'll just go back to hoping Ehrgeiz is released on the PSN, so I can play that on my PSP instead.

It's Perfect Dark here, where the angels scream...

2010-04-06T09:22:00.000+01:00

The more awake of you out there may (probably not) remember me briefly slamming the DS version of Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars last July. I basically said that the top-down GTA template is long since deceased and the step backwards was an ill-informed one. Well, I couldn't be more wrong, it seems.

I picked up the PSP version a few weeks ago (or rather my wife did, as a birthday present for me from the cat, don't ask) during a brief blunder on Play.com where some bright spark deleted the '2' from the £24.99 price tag. It wasn't a game that I particularly wanted, but at the right side of a fiver I couldn't say no.

First thing I noticed while firing it up on the train is that the cell-shading that the DS used to disguise the awful graphics has completely gone, and the visuals have been tidied up a hell of a lot. Purely aesthetic I know, but I'd rather not have to stare at what looks like a very old Sega Saturn game if I can help it. I also blasted the DS screen, for being too small to tell what was happening in games like this (although in their credit, Nintendo have also realised that now with the DSiXL), and the PSP's larger screen really does benefit the game, allowing the camera to zoom out more and give you a better warning when you're about to wrap yourself around a lamp post. So there, the two major gripes with the earlier version are sorted.

The game accomplishes the feel of a true GTA game quite well actually (I hadn't had enough time with the DS version to notice, due to my instant dislike). Playing it had me wondering, how much actual effort would it be to take the storyline from CTW and recreate it as a 3rd person expansion pack for GTAIV? If we take away the side quests and mini games that is. Speaking of mini games, I wasn't all too comfortable with the drug dealing aspect of the game, and a quick scout around the Internet shows that I'm not alone in that feeling. Says a lot about people, that mowing down a line of Hare Krishnas is thoroughly acceptable, but selling crack to a deadbeat is pushing it a bit.

Moving on now. Perfect Dark, in my teenage years, was not so much a game than a religion to me and my friends. Late into the lives of the PS2, XBox and Gamecube, we would still fire up the N64 and crowd around the TV for a few hours of multiplayer action, trying desperately to achieve that fabled 'Perfect: 1' rank (I managed to get as high as 8, but I think one of my friends was at 3).

The game's prequel, Perfect Dark Zero was also a deciding factor in the XBox360 being my first seventh generation games console, and when I got my hands on it I was severely disappointed. It just wasn't the same, and it also made the crime of giving protagonist Joanna Dark an American accent when in the previous game she was English, which always bugs me (it was one of the reasons I didn't like Prince of Persia: Warrior Within, but I do plan on trying that again fairly soon, for obvious reasons). I did however discover Oblivion a week later, which I'm still playing now, so my 360 purchase wasn't a complete loss. But needless to say I was delighted when Perfect Dark saw the light of day on the XBLA a couple of weeks ago.

The game remains wholly unchanged, save for the character models and on-screen weapons having an overhaul and the game being given an HD makeover. And that is most definitely a good thing. I must admit I did worry about the controls, as Perfect Dark and it's predecessor GoldenEye 007 were the definitive games for the N64's unconventional joypad, but it still retains the awesome feel of the original game. Clutching at straws, the only negative thing I can say is that all of the character heads have changed, and I can no longer use the character that looked a bit like Timothy Dalton in multiplayer. But Perfect Dark is still the only FPS where the multiplayer even slightly interests me, and the single player experience is probably only surpassed by Half-Life 2 in my eyes. A must have for any 360 owner.

And now, the main event. Just Cause was a game I picked up by chance for a few quid from CEX during a summer gaming drought a couple of years ago, and it ended up being a surprisingly enjoyable game, if a little shallow. After the main storyline's climax though, I quickly lost interest in the side missions, and the main character Rico Rodriguez's mullet and the way he ran like he'd shat himself became a little too noticeable and it ended up back on the shelf, quickly forgotten about.

Then the demo for JC2 resparked my interest a few weeks ago, and on the morning of the 26th of March I skipped off to GAME and picked up a copy of the Limited Edition, bizarrely the same price as the standard one.

Where games like Grand Theft Auto and Saints Row offer a free-roaming open world, Just Cause 2 throws an absolute playground of... well, for need of a better phrase, a playground of destruction (sorry EA) at you. Your grappling hook, which is one part Spider-Man's web shooter, one part Scorpion of Mortal Kombat's spear and one part the slime tether from Ghostbusters, is just licence to play around. Not only can you fly around the environment, jumping from vehicle to vehicle, pulling pilots from their helicopters' cockpits and causing general chaos, you can also attach things, or people, to each other. Hooking a luckless soldier to a gas canister and shooting the cap off to watch him shoot off into the distance and explode against a rock, or tearing a statue down by roping it to the back of your car, before dragging the head at full pelt towards a foe and pulling a handbrake turn, swinging the detached concrete skull at them like a huge mace and chain.

For those who haven't played the original, Just Cause and it's sequel are easiest compared to the Mercenaries series. Unlike Mercenaries though, the sequel is a huge improvement. That's not to say it's without disappointment though. A few hours in I tried the PS3 exclusive video capture feature, and after it had reached it's capture limit, all of the sound apart from the music had muted, and the right analogue stick had no movement. Luckily, before I deleted my last save file as a last ditch attempt to remedy the problem, I tried deleting my settings file instead, which worked. But the other day, after a mammoth session, the game decided to not save my game (even though I observed the on screen 'saving' message and didn't switch off until it had gone), losing me about five hours of game time. The final straw having been crossed, I cast the game from my PS3 and onto the bottom of my shame pile. But I will say this, Just Cause 2 is the only game I've ever played that features hijackable crashable Boeing 747s and a set of identical adjacent skyscrapers. Ssh, the Daily Mail hasn't noticed yet...

I have started The Saboteur, but haven't had much time with it yet, so check back next week for that, Dissidia: Final Fantasy and possibly (but not definitely) Silent Hill: Shattered Memories. And as a parting gift, check this out, 2100 Microsoft Points for £4, thanks to MarkySharky of VideoGameSpace. That should get you those Modern Warfare 2 maps for the price that they are actually worth. Or Perfect Dark, if you're more intelligent. Au revoir.

This! Is! SPARTA!

2010-03-30T15:23:00.000+01:00

Last week I hit a milestone in my life. I turned a quarter of a century old. Officially, by mathematical terms, I'm pushing 30. So, I decided the best course of action was to have a midlife crisis and blow about £200 on videogames to drown my sorrows, and resurrecting my Shame Pile.

First things first though. For my birthday, which was actually last Thursday for anyone interested, my wife bestowed upon me God of War III and The Saboteur, both on PS3, and Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines, and the cat (allegedly) bought me Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars on the PSP. I dove straight into God of War III, naturally.

The game starts immediately where we left off, with Kratos leading the Titans in an assault on Mount Olympus. A few betrayals and a lot of blood later and Kratos finds himself back in Hades, and his quest for vengeance truly begins.

I can't really go into things any deeper, as the story hurtles along at an alarming pace and the spoilers flow thick and fast. The gameplay though, is the usual God of War affair, solid fighting, over the top gore and intermittent puzzles and platforming sections. Kratos has picked up a few new moves this time, like the ability to mount and ride larger enemies and lasso flying enemies to cross gaps. He also picks up a few new weapons along the way, most of which are variations of the sharp things on chains theme, but the most effective of all being two huge metal gauntlets, a lot like the ones he used in Chains of Olympus.

I recall a while ago reading a post on Twitter by Mortal Kombat's co-creator Ed Boon, saying he was motion capturing new finishing moves for Mortal Kombat 9, and that he was worried that he was 'going too far'. Seeing what God of War gets away with, I highly doubt it. I've mentioned before the head-ripping and disemboweling, but that's only the icing on the cake. Again, I don't want to spoil too much, but it's the first time I think I've seen eye-gouging in a videogame. And I even felt like looking away as Kratos dispatched with dear old brother Hercules...

The last thing I really want to talk about is the visuals. Graphically, GoWIII is a triumph, pretty much the most beautiful game I've ever seen. After playing Heavy Rain a month ago, and Uncharted 2 just before Christmas, that compliment is given far more weight too.

Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines was my back-up title this week, for when the wife was on Oblivion. The PSP-only game serves as a true sequel to the first Assassin's Creed, following what Altair did next, namely stalking the Templars to Cyprus. Not much really happens, apart from our hero repeatedly bumping into Maria Thorpe, the Templar that got away (and evidently from a flashback in ACII, future Mrs. Ibn-La'Ahad, if she can pronounce it).

It's strongest point is that, unlike the two AC games on the DS, Bloodlines looks and plays like a proper AC, more specifically the first one. Being set in the same time period, and in a similar locale, the architecture is more or less the same. The gameplay has been somewhat simplified, shaving a few of Altair's moves off to cram it all into a UMD, including, bafflingly, his diving assassination move, which is one of the most useful moves in the other game. The free climbing though, one of the series' major positive points for me, remains unchanged.

Another good aspect of the game is that the boss characters are unique, not just reskinned guards like in the other games. They fight with signiature weapons, like a ball-and-chain, or sharpened fingernails, and also trigger different counter moves.

I suppose the worst thing about Bloodlines is the fact that the city streets aren't as bustling as the ones in it's parent games, but that is fully understandable given that the game is running on a machine with a fraction of the power of a PS3 or an XBox 360. Overall, it's a very good game for the system, harshly received because it can't live up to it's expectations.

Okay, I'll keep it brief for the remainder. Next on the newly formed Pile of Shame was a game I missed out on but have always been interested in: Velvet Assassin. Oh good god, it's bad. The game is a 'True Story' about an MI6 spy behind enemy lines in World War II. She conveniently loses her equipment at the start of the game, and quips about how it won't hold her back, even though it does. It really fucking does. A quick look on Wikipedia shows that this World War II game about a British agent was actually developed by a German company, Replay Studios, which might explain why she's armed with a toothpick and a nasty look, and the Germans are all superhuman cyborgs or something. Either way, sporadic checkpoints and trial-and-error gameplay make this game completely not worth playing.

And I've spent a bit of time getting to grips with The King of Fighters XII on PS3 this week. A look at some YouTube videos shows just how impressive this game can look in the right hands, but I was brought up on the simpler Street Fighter and Mortal Kombat 2D games, so it was distinctly more boring while I was playing. Admittedly though, the hand drawn two dimensional graphics were absolutely beautiful, although a bit pixelated compared to Super Street Fighter II HD Remix. A highlight for my immature mind was being told to 'choose my member' at the character select screen. I can't give the game a bad write up due to my own inadequacy though, and I'm sure that in the capable paws of a seasoned fighting game fan it's fantastic. But it's not exactly going to get in between me and Super Street Fighter IV in a month's time.

Check back next week for Just Cause 2, GTA Chinatown Wars and The Saboteur!

Back, Sack and Crack.

2010-03-23T10:37:00.000Z

Woe betide the gaming blogger who runs out of games to play on his Shame Pile. There is so little to write about this week, I'd considered not even bothering.

Well, apart from my new found love and appreciation, not only for Sackboy (I already loved the little guy), but for Little Big Planet as a game that is. I've spent probably most of my non-Oblivion time on LBP this last week, and truth be told I haven't even tried the level editor yet. It looks simple and ordinary at a first glance, but when you look at it from a technical standpoint, it's absolutely breathtaking.

You see, for those like me who have foolishly looked past LBP all these years, everything in Little Big Planet is based around some absolutely astounding physics. Each level (even the ones in Story Mode are created using the game's robust edit mode) is basically a huge domino rally, with the charming little knitted character as the catalyst, and everything that happens is basically down to gravity, or a complex system of pulleys and gears, all in a virtual sense of course.

My only gripe with the game is that Sackboy moves around like a wet turd on a polished floor, careering into his surroundings and straight off ledges, which makes some of the more precise jumps a nightmare to pull off. But believe me, as late to the party as I am, I fucking love the game, and plan on getting the PSP version very soon indeed.

For the last few days, there has been a copy of God of War III in my house. But, you see, I somewhat foolishly asked for it as a birthday present, and as a result have to wait until Thursday to play it. So. to sate my hunger, I fired up my newly acquired NTSC copy of God of War Collection on Sunday night, to see how well it had been 'remastered and optimised'. The particular copy has been somewhat communal among my group of friends, first the property of fellow (if a little sporadic) blogger Raz7el, then passed on to regular blog-commenter Paul in exchange for a copy of Dante's Inferno before finding itself in my clammy paws, so I almost feel obligated to pass it on once I've had my fill.

I've only had chance to try the original God of War so far, and I'm in no rush to play them before the chalky angry one makes his belated PS3 debut in my house on Thursday because I can pretty much recite the GoW storyline off by heart (Angry man becomes god's assassin, accidentally kills family, gets angrier, purposefully kills god (Nolan North, naturally), becomes god himself, is a little naughty, gets god licence revoked, gets even angrier, meets titans, sets off to kill gods, and dies and escapes hell about a hundred times in the process). As for the remastering? Well, the game is by default in 16:9 screen ratio now, which saves you about three and a half seconds in the options menu, and the games are displayed in 720p, which is really not that noticeable frankly. Last year, believing GoWIII to be nearer to release than it was, I played the first two on a PS2 using an RGB cable on the very same TV, and it was pretty much identical. But saying that, when you aren't forced to look at a Greek Soldier who was rendered out of about eleven polygons, the game still looks great, nearly on a par with some of this generation's equivalents (Hellboy: The Science of Evil springs to mind). Really though, if this was born out of love and appreciation for we, the fans, then Chains of Olympus should have been on there too.

Oh yeah, there's Trophies too, and the only reason I'm even mentioning this is because of a cheeky, not-quite-copyright-infringing dig at Metal Gear Solid: Rising, with a Trophy called 'Bolt Action' awarded when you receive the lightning bolt ability. It made me laugh anyway.

I implore everyone who owns a PS3 to buy this though, especially those who don't still have the games on the PS2. Sure, nothing's changed really, but saying that they are still both amazing games, and still better than any and all of their rival series. Plus, if the sales reach noticeable levels, they might give us the backwards compatibility we've all been fucking asking for for the past few years. At the very least, they might do collections for their other IPs, like Ico/Shadow of the Colossus or (I know it's not theirs technically but it's where it belongs) Metal Gear.

Anyway, all things going well, I should have something to write about next week, and one of those things should be the return of Kratos. See you then.

Wow, what a mansion! (AKA the 24 Hour Gamer DLC edition)

2010-03-16T17:06:00.000Z

Okay, doing something a bit different this week. With the recent trend of affordable DLC hitting the PSN store, I thought I'd grab a bit and give it a write-up, especially seeing as my Shame Pile has dried up. So here I go.

I started off with the two pieces of episodic DLC for Ubisoft's masterpiece (and clear winner of most improved sequel of the last decade) Assassin's Creed II, entitled The Battle of Forli and Bonfire of the Vanities. The two pieces fit nicely into the conveniently skipped chapters of the main game's storyline, so it's possible to play them both as part of a complete playthrough as well as going back to them after the game's conclusion. At £3.19 a piece, they don't exactly break the bank either.

The Battle of Forli takes place right after Ezio officially earns his Assassin's stripes, when the fight with Rodrigo Borgia, the would-be Pope, went a bit wrong. It involves a siege on the palatial home of briefly seen countess of Forli (and, lets face it, a bit of a slapper) Catarina Sforza, during which two of her seemingly countless children are kidnapped, along with the Apple of Eden, an artifact of limitless power.

The chapter starts with an escort mission, where you need to get Catarina and fellow Assassin Niccolo Machiavelli safely to the castle's keep, and is frustratingly annoying. Both of your charges would much rather dance around catching enemy axes with their faces than do anything useful, so it takes a lot of patience and perseverance to get through the very first bit. Once you get past that small annoyance though, it's back to the usual standard of the game though, fun, stylish combat and satisfying kills. The last kill, which took place atop a tower in the centre of a restricted area was extremely gratifying for me, as my assault on the monolith went flawlessly, with me stealing around the grounds surreptitiously picking off guards when their backs were turned, before leaping up the bastion, taking my target's mace out of his hands and deftly planting it, with the greatest of care, into his arsehole.

While The Battle of Forli wasn't to the standards of the main game, The Bonfire of the Vanities was a disgusting disappointment. It sees you, with freshly cultivated facial hair, tracking down the captor of the aforementioned Apple of Eden, exiled friar Girolamo Savonarola, who has taken over Florence. He has stationed 9 lieutenants around the city, who must each have their day ruined before the big man himself.

One of these future corpses is stationed on a boat, and for some reason if any of his guards see you the mission is over, despite the fact that he really isn't going anywhere quickly on a moored sail barge. The single assassination alone took me over an hour of swearing and pillow punching to (pun intended) execute, as it appears that 15th century guards can see through walls. I came so close once, after a flurry of smoke bombs and throwing knives, only for my prey to see me standing BEHIND him. And this, this single insignificant murder, made me go from loving Assassin's Creed II, to never wanting to play it again.

I was much happier with the two extra chapters for Resident Evil 5, a game I wasn't too thrilled with to begin with. Both are available now for a measly £3.99 each, and offer about an hour and a half of genuinely great gameplay.

The first, titled Lost in Nightmares tells the story of how series staple Jill Valentine met her apparent demise at the hands of superhuman baddie Albert Wesker during the assault on Ozwell Spencer's stately mansion, as told through a flashback in RE5's main story. The plot though, is a thin disguise for a basic summation of the first Resident Evil, and feels like a big 'thank you' to the fans from Capcom. It has all of the favourites, from the 'Jill Sandwich' spiked ceiling, to the secret door opened by playing 'Moonlight Sonata' on a Piano, to the different shaped cranks used to progress. There are even a few stray Zombies dotted around too. The only real let down of the piece is a slightly sketchy boss fight with Mr. Wesker, but that's only a small complaint and doesn't mar the experience one iota.

The second part, titled Desperate Escape, tells the events of RE5's climax from the point of view of Miss Valentine, and her new acquaintance Josh Stone (not Joss Stone), of the West-African branch of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance, or BSAA. Where the first pack was mainly puzzle based, this is all about action and does not disappoint, throwing all kinds of enemies at you. There are plenty of Executioners, Chainsaw Majini and Gatling Gun Majini to keep the action flowing, with mannable grenade-launcher emplacements dotted around sporadically, and ammo everywhere to keep the carnage up. The chapter climaxes with what is basically the game's mercenaries mode, with you holding position while waiting seemingly hours for an evac, which gets genuinely tense. Both expansion packs breathe life into a game that frankly got stale before it's own ending.

Finally, I finished off with the first chapter of the episodic Heavy Rain Chronicles, ominously named The Taxidermist. Way back during Heavy Rain's early development, Quantic Dream showed a technical demo of the game's heroine Madison Paige being chased around a house by a crazed killer, and that eventually became what I was playing. Currently unavailable commercially, I downloaded it freely with the game's collector's edition.

It starts off with Ms. Paige investigating a potential Origami Killer, an ex Taxidermist (hence the title) who turns out to be away from home when she arrives. Naturally, she breaks into his home and starts to snoop around. Upstairs she makes a grizzly discovery in the bathroom; the body of a woman in a bath filled with more blood than water, then in a large open plan room at the end of the corridor, more dead women, this time stuffed and placed in provocative clothing and positions, including, sickeningly, a nude one in a double bed.

The look of shock on Madison's face and how she reacts to everything she sees is fantastic, it really shows emotion that isn't usually conveyed in games outside of cutscenes. And it's mirrored in the player when the killer returns home, I've honestly never felt so tense as I tried, and ultimately failed to sneak out of his house, I could actually hear my own heartbeat. Long story short, things ended badly for poor Madison, but that was only one of a potential six conclusions, so it has replay value too. I'll definitely go back to it, and await future episodes eagerly.

Back to normal next week, and I'll try and dig up something to play and comment on before then. I might finally have time to give Little Big Planet a proper go. Until then.

Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind.

2010-03-09T10:19:00.000Z

Where to start? Well, if I said that the last week had been a good gaming week for me, I'd be lying through my teeth. It started off well, with my re-discovery of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, which has eaten up about 12 hours of time that I should have spent sleeping this week. I have played Oblivion before, about three times from start to finish actually, so I thought I'd mix things up a little this time. Playing as a Khajiit, an anthropomorphic cat for those who haven't played the game yet (although you really should, it's a very likely candidate for the best game ever made), I've taken it upon myself to make it my goal to hunt and kill every Argonian (lizard people, and historical enemies of the Khajiit) in the game world, after they've served any purpose they might have that is.

Aside from that, this is the first time I've tried playing the game with Light Armour, and only the second time using swords, as I usually go for heavy armour and axes or (my favourite) warhammers. And it's my first time out of the dungeon that I wasn't in the shoes of an Elf too, so a lot of the game is fresh to me this time. But that's the high point of the week over right there.

After the surprisingly great ObsCure, I was eager to fire up ObsCure II on the Wii, and was appalled. None of the atmosphere had survived, the creepy post-Gothic feeling of the original's high school setting had been replaced by a college frat house full of asshole stereotype douchebags with absolutely disgusting voice actors that they must have scraped up off the street. I commented on how Sum 41's 'Still Waiting' failed to set the scene in the first one, but the opening music to ObsCure II (god knows what it was) was comically inappropriate, actually cheerful sounding.

Then you get thrown into the gameplay, and the erratic animation combined with the standard sketchy-at-best Wii controls that make any attempt at a serious game (bar Resident Evil 4) a chore make the game virtually unplayable. The writers seem to have forgotten that our heroes found a cure for their infection at the end of the first game, because now they are having to take medicines to stop it spreading. Also, none of the returning characters look, sound or behave as they did before (our hero Stan has even stopped talking like Vanilla Ice), showing yet more lack of attention by the developers. And after a bad nightmare sequence that shamelessly ripped off Silent Hill and a run-in with the game's very first enemies who can tear about a third of your health away with one hit, it wasn't long before I switched it off. If I ever find it for a decent price on the PS2, I might be tempted to have a go at it with a normal controller, but as it stands I'm just not interested enough to put myself through it.

So I moved on to this week's main event, the infamous Rogue Warrior on the PS3. Rogue Warrior is a supposed true story based on the autobiography of former Navy Seal commander (and tourette's sufferer, if the game is anything to go by) Dick Marcinko. I'm not going to skirt around things here, this game is BAD. But it's not insultingly bad, like Haze, it's laugh-out-loud, piss-hilarious bad. I suppose, if you'd spend £40 on it, then it would be a bit of a kick in the balls, but I only spent £14.99 (I can only imagine how bad the person who sold it to Cash Converters felt, he can't have gotten more than a tenner for it less than a month after it was released. I hope for his sake he stole it).

I'm going to start with the script. Dick, voiced by muscular pensioner Mickey Rourke, must have said about 4 or 5 words before his first 'fuck' broke through, and then never looked back. Apart from the D-grade military action movie jargon I think I heard one line of F-bomb free dialogue in the whole game, and that was a reference to cunnilingus. At one point, close to death, Dick descended into one long, uninterrupted swear word, which went something like "fucknshitbastardcommiemotherfuckinfuck". That's quality writing right there. From his voice, you get the feeling that Mickey's heart wasn't really in it. But you also get the feeling that half of the expletives weren't actually on the script too.

Right, gameplay time. Rogue Warrior is a standard FPS, one man versus the whole of North Korea and the Soviet Union type of affair. It's cover system is like a happy marriage between Killzone 2 and Gears of War, and it feels great until you reload. If you leave cover half way through reloading, the action is cancelled. It's okay though, there's no reason to leave cover, because the enemies will just stroll over and stand at the other side of whatever you're hiding behind, happily firing round after round into the bulletproof barrier, allowing you to use blindfire and just poke your gun over the top and kill him without even aiming.

The enemies take cover too though, and I actually saw one throw a grenade at the cover he was hiding behind, resulting in the explosive bouncing right back and landing in his lap. So it's no surprise that Kim Jong Il's finest pose very little threat to you throughout the game. The only problem comes with the Shotgun carriers, who defy the laws of the world by being able to shoot the hairs off a flea's back at 200 yards. Attention to detail, nothing is spared.

Like with The Punisher on the PS2, I tended to favour the melee kills, which are triggered by moving close to an enemy and pressing the X button. This sends the camera out to a third person view so you can admire you suitably brutal finisher, ranging from turning an enemy's gun on himself to slitting his throat, to the frankly worrying move involving sticking your knife up a poor communist's arsehole. The mind boggles.

It's hard to imagine, that with the publisher of Fallout 3 and the developer of Rogue Trooper and Aliens vs. Predator, that an FPS with such a rich upbringing could go so wrong. Whoever thought it would be a great idea to let people play as a demolitions expert (the game's main aim is to plant explosives on missiles) was sorely mistaken. And who decided that 2 and a half hours was an adequate lifespan of a game was frankly insane. But at least it made me laugh.

And that's about it. I had a quick go on Madworld the other day, and it didn't really grab me. The visuals are headache inducing (reminding me of pictures I used to draw as a child, where I would only colour in the blood), and it seems to me that they had tried to come up with a valid storyline involving terrorists at the start of the game, but then abandoning it and leaving the cutscene in. One minute the president is addressing the nation over a terrorist attack and promising to send in a special agent, the next you're in a violent Running Man style game show. Then it's just hitting people until the game over screen. I'll have another go, but I don't predict I'll fall for it. Speaking of falling for things, I tried the Just Cause 2 demo last night, and I think I'll be bringing the full game home on the 26th. Even though I loved the original, for some reason I wasn't expecting much from the sequel, but was very pleasantly surprised. Gives me something to look forward to.

Check back next week for the DLC special!

I've been ten thousand miles in the mouth of graveyard, and it's a hard rain's a-gonna fall

2010-03-02T19:33:00.000Z

Another month, another candidate for Game of 2010. After Mass Effect 2 a month ago, I recall expressing concern and doubt about playing a game that I would consider it's equal in the preceding eleven months. Yet here I am, four mere weeks later with a game in my clammy paws that I possibly like even more.

The game in question is Quantic Dream's PS3 exclusive epic Heavy Rain, spiritual successor to the fantastic (if a little flawed narratively) Fahrenheit (known as Indigo Prophecy stateside thanks to the combined efforts of Micheal Moore and Osama Bin Laden). When I first played Fahrenheit, it was completely new to me. The only games I could even begin to compare it to were Shenmue, Dreamfall: The Longest Journey and Broken Sword: The Sleeping Dragon, but even then the comparisons were vague and incomplete.

Heavy Rain goes down the same path in terms of delivery, but throws away the fantasy elements of Dreamfall and (to a lesser extent) Broken Sword and, taking the spiritual guidance of Shenmue, throws you into a very serious, very mature murder mystery. The story begins with a ridiculously perfect family living a ridiculously perfect life together, until one family day outing spells disaster for the father, Ethan Mars, when his eldest son of two, Jason, wanders off. Ethan eventually finds him, but their reunion is cut dramatically short when they are both struck by an oncoming car, sending Ethan into a coma and Jason into an early grave.

Two years later we rejoin Ethan a bit worse for wear. His marriage has ended and he's just picking up his remaining son Shaun from his ex wife's house. Instead of moving to Malibu with Charlie Sheen as some people do in these situations, he's got himself a shitty little house in the most depressing part of town. Shaun is quite understandably a bit pissed off at Ethan, obviously he never knows when he's going to get led into traffic by his dear old dad, and to make it up to him Ethan takes Shaun to a playground. Right about now seems a good place to mention that Ethan's coma rendered him a bit of a Schizo with a penchant for blacking out, and after placing Shaun on a merry-go-round (don't all playgrounds have them?), he promptly does just that. He wakes up later on to find his son missing, and a small origami figure in his hand, the calling card of a mass child murderer known as (wait for it) 'The Origami Killer'. So Ethan goes on a quest to find his son, along with FBI agent Fox M... sorry, Norman Jayden, lovable private dick Scott Shelby, his prostitute sidekick Lauren Winter and Madison Paige, a journalist who's clothes keep falling off.

Heavy Rain places itself in a very unique position in that it's not only one of my favourite games (I will go that far, I absolutely loved it), but also one of my favourite films too. A lot of the time I almost forgot I was playing at all, robotically hammering the quick time events in without even really noticing them even appearing onscreen. Another fairly unique thing about the game is that when a character dies, the game carries on without them instead of ending and letting you continue. Ironically, I can only think of one other game that does this and that's ObsCure, a game I only played a couple of weeks earlier.

Heavy Rain, like most PS3 exclusives, really excels in the graphical department. To say it looks beautiful is a criminal understatement. Even the graphical might of Uncharted 2 and Killzone 2 doesn't seem to hold up against Heavy Rain. The only thing I don't like about it really is the creepy facial expressions from Fahrenheit occasionally crop up, as if the motion capture artists didn't smile when they should have and one was thrown in at the last minute, a shining example of this is during the nightclub scene where Madison dances on the podium. I am just nitpicking for the sake of it though.

Before Heavy Rain I returned to the macho, closely shaven world of Richard B. Riddick once more, with The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena. Not so much a sequel to Butcher Bay, Dark Athena is more of an expansion pack. It plays exactly the same, which was quite disappointing to be honest. Even the main story seems completely plagiarised, with the prison planet that Riddick must escape from in Butcher Bay replaced with a mercenary ship filled with prisoners, that Riddick must escape from. It's considerably longer than Butcher Bay, but that's the only thing I can really say about it. If it wasn't for the first game being included on Dark Athena's disk, it really wouldn't be worth buying.

Thursday's PSN Store update saw the releases of demos for Darksiders and God of War III, both of which are bloody fantastic hack-and-slash kill-em-ups and like the earlier Dante's Inferno are both based on religious mythology, and have thus been locked in a friendly battle. There's no contest really, Kratos has made sure of that, but so far Darksiders seems to be superior to Dante's by a gnat's wing, mainly helped along by the bold imagery, great voice work (thanks Mark Hamill) and the fact that it's not shamelessly ripping off God of War in every way. But God of War III seems to be shaping up very nicely, losing none of what made it's three prequels brilliant. And it's just about the most violent game I've ever played: the demo sees you disemboweling a Centaur (raising questions about how their innards are arranged), yanking the eye from the head of a Cyclops (the stalk doesn't snap immediately like the previous games, it has to be pulled to it's elastic limit and then snapped off) and ripping the head from sun god Helios' shoulders with your bare hands, seeing the flesh tear bit by bit before it gives. Absolutely brutal, yet I would expect nothing less.

Finally, I finished my second play through of Mass Effect 2 this week. I didn't mention it so as not to give anything away, but the ending of my first attempt saw three of my crew in their graves: The Salarian scientist Mordin, Asari law enforcer Samara and Human/Llama hybrid Miranda. This time I was 100% successful, seeing all of my crew through the mission. I also went down the renegade route this time, essentially becoming a space Jack Bauer, and it made the game a lot more entertaining. Yes, there was a scene where I punched a woman news reporter completely without provocation, and I will admit I laughed out loud when it happened. It was her own fault, she was making disingenuous assertions, and Shepard had had enough of them. And for lack of anything to play on my 360 last night, I fired up Saint's Row. Big mistake. It hasn't stood the test of time well, with it's awful graphics and awkward humour. Don't think I'll play much more of that one. Anyway, I'm off to play Oblivion now, buh-bye.

Lethargy and Gaming - every TUESDAY.

2010-02-26T08:11:00.000Z

Just a small announcement, due to time constraints I'm moving the deadline for each post to Tuesdays. It makes sense, I don't have to go and do my real job on a Tuesday, so it gives me more time to write, and more time to play any new releases that come out on the Friday before I write about them.

So please, check back on Tuesday for a look at The Chronicles of Riddick: Assault on Dark Athena, Heavy Rain and first impressions of God of War III and Darksiders, and probably a short bit about Mass Effect 2 cheekily squeezed in there. Hope to see you then.

Now, I like Tatsunoko, and I also like Capcom. But which is better?

2010-02-19T08:34:00.000Z

This week I've been playing one of those games that defines a console, defines a genre, even defines a generation. It's an FPS that features a protagonist with a crisis of alliegance, a group of chemically altered warriors with golden visors on their high-tech armour. It's vehicular combat is second to none. If I say that it's title is a simple four-letter word, and the first two letters are H and A, then I'm sure you will be able to figure out what game I'm talking about. That's right, Haze.

And you'll probably also be able to figure out that the last paragraph is riddled with sarcasm, as Haze is one of the most offensive pieces of garbage I've ever had to play. For those of you lucky enough to not know, Haze is a below average PS3-exclusive shooter developed by Free Radical (who, with the Timesplitters series under their belts, and with ex-Goldeneye developers on the team, should have known better) that's major downfall was it's overhyped pre-release. Upon seeing the yellow visor splashed all over the promotional material, everyone and their gran made the Halo connection, and thus was born the "it's Halo on PS3" stigma was born, and expectations were raised to a level that Haze was never going to deliver. When put into words like that, the fate of Haze sounds quite sad, but the truth is, it would have still gotten those piss-poor reviews without the Halo comparisons. It just wouldn't have been pushed into the limelight as much.

Haze begins with you in the shoes of Shane Carpenter, who works for an American military group known as Mantel, who dose up on a hallucinogenic chemical known as Nectar before each conflict. Nectar dulls the soldier to the horrors of war, making things such as blood, injuries and even dead bodies invisible, and making morally wrong actions (like throwing babies in fires, as we find out) seem all in a day's work. On your first mission, naturally to rough up some ethnic minorities, your Nectar Administrator malfunctions and you realise that you're on the wrong side and that your enemy, a supposed vicious dictator and cannibal known as Skin Coat is actually quite a nice guy, and that the reason the Matel are invading their apparently very religious country (Somewhere in South America by the looks of things) is to harvest the plant that Nectar is refined from. So you set off and join him instead, and the rest, as they say, is history.

The story, as well as being a not-so-subtle dig at current events in the middle east, is actually one of the only redeeming features of Haze (the other being that you can switch it off), It kept me interested enough to put myself through the horror of the game. Texture pop-in is a term that really doesn't apply here, the textures fade in is if they were hoping that you wouldn't notice. Each scene starts off looking like a PS2 game, and gradually becomes a sub-par PS3 game. I have also never seen clipping issues quite so bad since the last generation either. Okay, so graphics don't really matter. What about controls then? The reload button, for one, is entirely in the wrong place at Triangle, when it should be Square. There's no dash either, so you have to saunter everywhere, meaning quite often I resorted to driving across some of the open areas to save time. Well, I wouldn't call it driving, not with the handling that's casually thrown into the game. The vehicles are controlled as they would be in a racing game, as opposed to the Halo/Mass Effect twin-stick driving method. But instead of R2 being the accelerator, it's R1, meaning you have two speeds: A billion miles per hour, or standing still. There's a nitro boost that can be activated with the X button that doesn't alter your speed at all, and the vehicles corner like a wet turd on a frozen lake. Just typing about it pisses me off.

Because I like to do things a little differently around here, I'm going to finish off my Haze rant by comparing it, and it's PS3 FPS brethren to, what else, the Baldwin Brothers. Killzone would be Alec Baldwin, strongest and most successful of the brothers. Resistance would be Billy Baldwin, still good, but lacks the edge of it's older brother. Haze, alas, is Stephen Baldwin: Short, ugly, boring and spouts religious nonsense at every opportunity. To perfectly sum it up, here's a video of a Mantel soldier being a very naughty boy indeed.

The week hasn't been all bad though, as my fantastic wife brightened up my Valentine's Day with a copy of Tatsunoko vs. Capcom: Ultimate All Stars on the Wii last weekend, and it is absolutely brilliant.

Tatsunoko vs. Capcom is the latest in a long series of fighting games putting Capcom's greatest warriors up against, well, everyone really. The series started with X-Men vs. Street Fighter, and Capcom have since gone on to fight the expanded Marvel universe, SNK and (in Japan only) Namco, until most recently coming to blows with 1970s' anime label Tatsunoko.

Now, I'd be lying if I said I knew anything about Tatsunoko. I remember watching Battle of the Planets (the American dub of Science Ninja Team Gatchaman) as a kid, so characters like Ken the Eagle, Jun the Swan and Joe the Condor are recognisable to me, albeit with different names to what I remember them as. But aside from that, I'm still learning. But I do love the Capcom vs. Series, and I love seeing characters that I know and love outside of their surroundings, and the Capcom side of the roster does not disappoint. Whereas every one of the vs. Series up to this point has been 2D and mostly made using recycled sprites from other games, TvC features fully 3D graphics, and has given Capcom and excuse to port some other under-used characters over, like Batsu from Rival Schools, and PTX-40A, the giant robotic suit from Lost Planet. But the real star of the show, for me anyway, is Dead Rising's Frank West, who comes with some suitably "Faaaaantastic" moves, from throwing a Zombie in a shopping trolley at his opponent, to slamming a Servbot mask on them and faceplanting them into the ground, all in the comfort of his own stage at Willamette Mall (the game actually prompted me to play Dead Rising for a bit this week. It hasn't stood the test of time very well). The game also features characters like Darkstalkers' Morrigan and Street Fighter III's Alex, featured for the first time in 3D.

The whole game is about excess. The special moves, similar to Marvel vs. Capcom, often fill the screen, and whenever a combo is executed on your enemy, instead of a damage percentage being shown, it will tell you you've done 12.874 billion points of damage or something, which is completely bonkers. Then there's the screen-filling enemies like the aforementioned PTX and Tatsunoko's Gold Lightan, who are so big the camera has to zoom out. I absolutely love it.

To complement TvC, I also picked up the new Classic Controller Pro for the Wii, which is a great controller. The arms and the repositioned shoulder buttons improve the controller to no end, and the glossy finish makes it look really smart. The lack of vibration places a downer on things, but I still hold it as the best Nintendo joypad I've ever used. Obviously a sentiment echoed by others too, as I think I picked up the last one in the whole of Sheffield.

Right, I'll drop it at that. I finished ObsCure, and after dragging my characters kicking an screaming through the game without a single fatality, one of them died in the climactic boss battle, much to my annoyance. And as I had read, the game took me little over three hours to finish, which is also a bit of a downer. And, for those who didn't know, Street Fighter III's Ibuki, Makoto and Dudley have been announced for Super Street Fighter IV. I've been wanting some SFIII characters for SFIV since it was first announced, so with that news I put in a preorder. Next week's post could be a little late, as I might be too busy playing Heavy Rain to write anything. I'll do my best.

No Baldwins were harmed during the making of this Blog.

Oh my God, they killed Kenny!

2010-02-12T10:24:00.000Z

This week, as I said I would, I finally got back on track with my backlog of unplayed Christmas games. Hellboy: The Science of Evil was first on my pile, after I briefly touched upon it a few weeks ago, before Mass Effect 2 barged in and ate up my whole life for a week.

As I had said previously, Hellboy was perhaps under appreciated, below average review scores all-round. But it found a fan in me. Where it admittedly lacks in areas such as next-gen visuals (the polygon count is quite low and the size of the on-screen text shows that it wasn't meant for HD gaming) and the story is fairly hard to follow with the slightly below-par scripting, the gameplay is brainless fun, and it offers plenty of fan service in the form of more gas mask wearing Nazis and frog demons than you could ever ask for. And the final boss fight is genuinely a good fight, unlike a few very highly praised games, Uncharted 2 springs to mind. And plus, it's got Ron Perlman in it, which generally adds a few points to the overall score.

With Hellboy finished I moved on to the often ignored PS2 high-school horror game ObsCure, a 2004 release from french developers Hydravision Entertainment. The premise of a possible Canis Canem Edit plus Resident Evil with a pinch of the school section of Silent Hill made the game very enticing to me, and while that wasn't exactly what was delivered, I'm still enjoying it.

The game opens with panning shots of an ordinary American high-school, accompanied by the dulcet tones of Canadian pop-punk jerks Sum 41 (music that sets the tone about as well as Slayer would for Mary Poppins). The camera comes to a halt in the school gym, as a mismatched group of youth stereotypes play a game of basketball. Here we are introduced to our five 'heroes': Kenny; a 'roid monkey, Stan (I think somebody was watching South Park); an underachiever who seems to fail, as so many white American teens do, to understand that he isn't a black gangster rapper, Josh; school newspaper geek and Shannon; all round genius who dresses slutty to downplay her intellect (she's got her priorities right). After everyone leaves Kenny to work off his steroids, he gets a phone call from our last player character, his girlfriend Ashley; a laitina cheerleader with bizarre fighting skills. While he's distracted by the phone, his bag is taken by a mystery evildoer, and he naturally chases them into an underground lab filled with monsters, where he is captured. The rest of the group, upon realising he's missing the next day, neglect to call the police the next day, and instead hide in the school (where all of the teachers appear to actually live) until the evening and go looking for him.

And so begins our tale. I want to point out here, that for a game approaching six years of age, the graphics are spot-on. All of the backgrounds are fully 3D and the characters look great. And the real time physics are among the best I've seen on the console, things move realistically when you brush past them, in a generation of consoles where most objects are super glued in place. The music is great too, Canadian arseholes aside, it goes from an eery choir one minute to the next being quite reminiscent of the Shinra Mansion section of Final Fantasy VII. There was a dodgy bit during a puzzle involving acid, a paper cup and a padlock (ripped straight from Monkey Island), which sounded like a German Oom-Pah band, but it was over quickly.

The game is a bit Resident Evil Zero, in that you control two characters at a time, with the ability to swap between them at will and the AI taking over the rejected character. However, ObsCure does this better than RE0 in a few respects. Firstly, the game features drop in/drop out multiplayer, like a bastardized Lego game, although I haven't actually tried that yet. Secondly, if the AI decides the best course of action is to drop the secondary character in the shit, so to speak(And it does in both games), and they wind up dead, this doesn't spell Game Over in ObsCure, the rest of the gang go on without them (or even shedding a tear, it seems). So in effect, you have five lives, and each life has a unique ability, be it Stan's 'master of unlocking' (worrying that a school lists this as a plus point on his report card), Ashley's worrying level of fighting prowess, Josh's journalistic ability to know whenever anything is interesting in the room, Shannon's precognitive ability to know what to do next or Kenny's ability to erm... Run quite fast.

Not that you'll get to use many of these skills though, because the game's infuriating difficulty level means that your teen heroes will drop like flies within seconds of a monster making itself known. You have to collect discs to save, and the limited nature of these makes it difficult to judge when to use them. Couple that with the even more limited health items and the fact that your characters are more fragile than Samuel L. Jackson in Unbreakable and it spells disaster. When you find a pistol and subsequently a shotgun (always lying about in an American high-school), the game gets a bit easier, but the first half hour or so is very tense.

I have played (and replayed after dying without saving) for about an hour and a half now, and am actually really enjoying it, despite difficulty being a bit of a phobia of mine. I have read in reviews that it only takes 3 hours to finish though, which is a bit of a downer. But I do have ObsCure 2 in the pile too, this time on the Wii. In the words of our racially confused hero Stan, ObsCure is Hype, yo. I don't know what that means either.

Here's where I would normally put a lid on things, but no! I got an early demo of Heavy Rain through an online promotion this week. The demo puts you in the shoes of an elderly and overweight police detective named Scott Shelby at first, and makes you question a prostitute over a serial killer who happened to target her son. It's a bit odd at first controlling your character like a racing car, pressing the R2 button to control the speed at which you walk and steering with the left analogue stick, but you get used to it.

As with Fahrenheit before it, most of the scenes are played out in the form of Quick Time Events. Before you all groan and switch off, they are done really well in this, particularly in the demo's fight scene, once an unwanted guest of the prostitute gets a bit shirty and you have to sort him out. It's a lengthy scene, and the commands come thick and fast, and missing one doesn't fail you instantly, instead the fight takes a different course. And watching the fight is a treat too, the cinematics are fantastic.

The second scene puts you behind the wheel of FBI agent Norman Jayden, and you are charged with investigating a murder scene. At your disposal are a pair of high tech glasses and a glove (to be honest, they were the only thing that seemed to put a damper on the experience, it subtracted from the realism greatly) which help you find clues and evidence. A quick sniff round and you find out that the killer escaped in a car, and that's where the demo ends. I hope the next two weeks are short ones, because I can't wait to get my hands on that game.

Now I'll wrap it up. Tried the beta of Modnation Racers and the demo of Sonic and Sega Allstars Racing this week, and controversially I prefer Sonic in terms of actual gameplay. But truth be told, neither really have the charm of Mario Kart anyway. And placing Sonic in a car and Tails in an aeroplane is redundant. Bit like giving Luke Skywalker a baseball bat. Bye for now!

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite store on the Citadel!

2010-02-05T10:40:00.000Z

Ladies and gentlemen, if you don't want to read about Mass Effect 2, then don't bother going any further. It's just about all I've done this week, literally.

When I reported in last week, I had played for maybe two hours, and truth be told wasn't too impressed, but was putting on a brave face in hope that things can only get better. The RPG elements that I'd become accustomed to in my four play throughs of the first one had been neutered within an inch of their life, everything had got a bit sweary (which I've noticed has happened with a lot of sequels, Assassin's Creed II, Metal Gear Solid 4 and Resident Evil 5 spring to mind), and the shooting mechanic has gone for the old copy-and-paste Gears of War method. Couple that with the still ridiculous reloading mechanic, and well, my first impressions were a bit testing, as much as I didn't want to admit it.

Things, however, did get better. 34 hours of gameplay better in fact. And I never once, in all of that time, actually wanted to set the controller down out of boredom. I actually scanned every planet, did every side-mission on said planets, all of the loyalty missions, everything.

For a bit of a story breakdown, after Shepard and his multicultural band of brothers saved the universe from a giant metal squid in 2007, they spent their days flying around the galaxy wiping out stragglers from the ranks of their enemies, the Geth. That is until their ship got ripped in two pieces by a mysterious new antagonist, and thanks to annoying pilot Jeff 'Joker' Moreau (who shows no sign of remorse throughout the game), things ended pretty badly for Shepard.

Then his body was recovered by Martin Sheen, who could rebuild him, He had the technology. He had the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Commander Shepard would be that man. Better than he was before. Better, stronger, faster. Sorry, lost myself a bit there. Anyway, after two years of being rebuilt, Shep wakes up to find out that humans everywhere are being abducted by crazy bug people, and naturally sets out to round up a bunch of hardasses and do some damage.

At first, as I was secretly not enjoying the game as much as I wanted to, I jumped headlong into the main story with little regard for anything else. I recruited the squaddies, of course, and when I first met Garrus, my joint favourite character (with Wrex) from the last game, and unlike all the other returning faces he actually wanted to join me, I could barely conceal a smile. But it wasn't until about half way through the story, when I was deep in enemy territory and the plot was beginning to unfold, that I got that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, the feeling that I was in for something special.

And something special it was. I know there's a lot of people out there who are still knee deep in this, so I will go no further, but a special mention has to go out to my new hero, ME2's krogan, Grunt. He's bloodthirsty, wreckless and at times laugh-out-loud funny. And he's the only squaddie I used in the game that never once needed a medi-gel. I have a new Wrex.

I was a little annoyed that such a good game was out in January though, as I had very little hope of playing another game quite as good as that all year. That was until last night's teaser trailer of Fallout: New Vegas though, and it's ambitious predicted release date of Autumn 2010. The trailer opens with some bizarre TV-headed robot sifting through a mass grave in the Nevada desert, with a surprisingly well preserved Las Vegas in the background. As the camera pans out, a mysterious long-coated character with a New Californian Republic flag looks on. He then turns to the camera, revealing a mask that resembles that of one of Killzone's bad guys, the Helghast. It's going to be a long 7 months or so for me now. Well, I still have three achievements yet to get on Fallout 3 anyway, so I still have a bit of Fallout to keep me going. If they fire out a new Elder Scrolls this year too, I'll be happy as a pig in shit.

I'll try and have more to talk about next week, I'm in the process of trying to get my grubby hands on a Heavy Rain demo, and I'll hopefully get motivated enough to finish Hellboy and start on something else, more than likely PS2 survival horror ObsCure. Bye for now.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away...

2010-01-29T19:48:00.000Z

There's been a decidedly Sci-Fi feel to my gaming this week. As reported, I was attempting to gather up the remaining Achievements on Fallout 3, so it occured to me that I should download and play the 5th and final expansion pack Mothership Zeta. I'd not heard good things about it to be honest, but for the sake of my Gamerscore (which, as any self-respecting Xbox gamer will tell you, is a virtual extension to one's penis), I thought I'd give it a shot.

The add-on is triggered when you find Fallout 3's fabled UFO crash site, previously infamous for the ridiculously powerful Alien Blaster you find there, and are 'beamed up' so to speak, to the titular alien mothership where you are experimented on and placed in an induced coma. When you awaken, you are greeted in a cell by a lady named Somah. She throws the idea out there that if you stage a fist fight the guards will unlock the door, and then the two of you can fuck them up and escape, and surprisingly it works (although she neglected to mention that she's bricks hard and very good at unarmed combat, and that resulted in a crippled head for me). So begins a tale of survival and escapism, involving a cowboy, a samurai, about a million aliens and a 200 year old little girl, but I'll not ruin any of that for you.

I actually enjoyed it, not as much as Point Lookout but definitely as much as The Pitt and more than Broken Steel and Operation Anchorage. It appeased the latent Sci-Fi geek in me, and kept me occupied for pretty much a full day. There are a bunch of new weapons available, my favourite of which was the Alien Disintegrator, a sort of Laser Rifle with a clip capacity of 100 shots and a reload time of under a second. At the end of the story I came away with upwards of 1600 rounds for it, and that's after heavy usage throughout too, so it will most likely see me through the last four Cheevos that I haven't acquired yet. Also to note is the fact that all of the alien equipment is extremely light, most of it doesn't weigh a thing, so you can virtually bankrupt the Capital Wasteland when you get back with your loot, which oddly enough none of the merchants bat an eyelid at. Much recommended anyway.

Fallout 3 has pretty much taken up the bulk of my week, but the big story is today's release of Mass Effect 2, the collector's edition of which saw me £60 poorer this morning. First things first, the collector's content is actually really good. The double-thick cardboard sleeve houses both a steelbook and a cardboard case (a mere mortal collector's edition only offers one of either). The steelbook holds both game disks and a bonus disk (the contents of which are still a mystery to me), plus the instructions, obviously, and a download code for some GAME-exclusive armour, and the fold-out cardboard case contains a plastic wallet-size Cerberus Network membership card (Mass Effect 2's platform for downloading DLC, which costs a completely unreasonable 1200 MS Points for anyone who buys the game preowned), which then grants you access to a downloadable squad member and side-quest, as well as a hardback artbook and the first issue of the Mass Effect: Redemption comic series. It doesn't look like much, but it seems worth it when it's in your hands. It's safe to say that, apart from the Guitar Hero bundles, this is the most expensive game I've ever bought though.

On to the game. I can't say too much, mainly because I haven't had time to form a proper opinion on it just yet. I will say that it doesn't seem quite as good as the first one, it just doesn't feel as deep. The game is more of a shooter it seems, and less of an RPG. Your squadmates, for example, have a default look, which isn't changeable. And the guns have technologically regressed, and now need reloading, like every other FPS. They tried to explain it, something about the advanced weaponry needing extra coolant that needs to be changed, but any way you look at it it's still reloading, and you need to collect the coolant, which is still ammo. The graphics, which were my only gripe with the first one, have been improved tenfold, there's none of the scruffy shadows and the texture pop up is entirely gone. It makes my pasty, deformed Shepard look a lot, ahem, more noticeable. Another plus-point is the fact that you can sprint outside of combat now, and for a lot longer, so you don't have to dad-run around the Citadel anymore.

The new characters (who I won't go into in detail for risk of spoilers) don't seem as likable as the ones in the first game though. I've seen a few returning faces, Seth Green's abhorrent Joker is still around and even more hateful, and Dr Chakwas (an anagram of 'hacksaw', fact fans) is knocking about on the ship. There's also been brief appearances from everyone's favourite bigots Ashley and Navigator Pressley, Cpt. Arbiter (sorry, Anderson) and Udina, Tali and even that Asari I let escape from Saren's lab on Virmire the first time round. There are a few new races too, the only ones I've seen so far are called the Vorcha, who are very theatrical enemies with the way they bare their fangs and growl as they talk. They are basically the monster equivalent of Dick Dastardly.

I'll report more next week, after I've had a bit more time with it. In other news this week, I earned my first ever Platinum Trophy on the PS3, for Assassin's Creed II. For the XBox fanboys out there, a Platinum Trophy is awarded when you collect all of the other Trophies, which usually mirror the Achievements on a 360 game. So in effect, I 1000ed it. And on a similar note, I got that 490 point Cheevo on Band Hero. I'm not addicted to Gamerscore, I promise. I was very proud of myself for not buying Tatsunoko vs. Capcom today, opting to be the bigger man and actually get my nephew a birthday present. Mario Kart Wii, if you were wondering. Oh, and ask Raz7el what happened when we played Dead or Alive 4 today. Laters...

Matt Day-Mahn!

2010-01-22T09:26:00.000Z

You know what makes me awesome? The fact that I buy games that I know to be widely condemned as shit, unplayable smears of filth on a perfectly good BluRay or DVD, wastes of nonrenewable resources used to create the disk, just so I can attempt to entertainingly write about how shit they are for you, the 3 or 4 people who actually read this crap every week. But you know what makes life awesome? When they aren't actually that bad.
Take Hellboy: The Science of Evil as an example. The PS3 version, which is the one I've been playing, received a score of 47% on Metacritic, yet I fail to see what's so bad about it. It's not like Batman, where I'm a complete fanboy, I did love the first Hellboy movie but the second was garbage, the comics do very little to hold my attention and the animated films are a bit on the mundane side, so if I was to be biased I'd be joining them.
The game itself is an enjoyable God-of-War-em-up which places you in the hooves of the titular demonic anti-hero as you (for reasons yet unknown) chase a Witch through a surprisingly atmospheric forest graveyard, bashing the daylights out of everything in your way with your signature massive stone hand, or whatever you find yourself close enough to pick up at the time, from discarded weapons to chunks of a tree to severed parts of enemies departed. As well as the melee combat you also have Red's trusty sidearm, his oversized revolver which can be equipped with various different kinds of ammunition to serve different purposes, from freezing enemies to destroying enchanted doorways.
The game occasionally flashes back to one of Hellboy's previous missions too, the first of which being a trip to Japan which throws quite a few nods to the first of the animated films 'Blood and Iron', with enchanted swords and floating heads, and to bait the fans an encounter with Herman von Klempt and his kriegsaffe, Brutus.
It's good brainless fun, slightly average but not bad, and it will sate my appetite before I get my hands on God of War III, Dante's Inferno and Darksiders in a couple of months. Glad I played Hellboy first though, doubt it would receive such a positive review after the big three.
Also, given this weeks post's title (I couldn't resist even though it's not his likeness), I've hammered through The Bourne Conspiracy on the XBox360, and absolutely loved it.
The game borrows from a lot of others, but the most unlikely (but most apparent) influence comes in the form of Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. When Bourne first appeared onscreen I immediately thought, with his appearance being close to Nathan Drake, Shadow Complex's Jason Flemming and Dark Void's William Grey, that he should have been voiced by he-who-shall-not-be-named. But the way he runs, takes cover, flinches from near misses and to an extent fights (he uses Drake's familiar jump-punch move) also echo Naughty Dog's triumph.
The gunplay is what ultimately lets Bourne down, being uninspired copy-and-paste Gears of War style hide and shoot (although with the more realistic weaponry and destructible cover, it also harks back to Uncharted), and as well as being a bit mundane at times it also gets a little frustrating. But the melee combat really shines. Unlike Uncharted, where you could punch and shoot on the fly, when an enemy engages Bourne up close the game shifts into a Shenmue style fighting mechanic, in which combinations of heavy and light attacks can be used, and when an on-screen 'adrenaline meter' reaches the appropriate level, the B button can trigger 'takedown moves' which immediately incapacitate between one and three enemies in a true-to-the-film cinematic fashion, often making use of the environment in typically inventive ways.
Speaking of cinematics, some of the cutscenes are hauntingly close to the film, particularly the failed assassination attempt on the boat and the Paris apartment attack, which was without a doubt a highlight of the game for me. And taking to the streets of a very destructible Paris in a very indestructible Mini Cooper in a Burnout meets The Italian Job frenzy was an absolute thrill-ride. I had hoped the driving mechanic would pop up again somewhere, as it was fantastic fun, but it never did. Anyway, I whole-heartedly recommend this to fans of both the film and the genre, it's available at most preowned shops for around £7 and won't eat up a lot of time, but it's a very rewarding experience.
It's a rare game that challenges a player to question his or her own sexuality. Curiosity led me to Google Dragon Age: Origins' man-on-man sex scene, and I unwaveringly decided it wasn't for me. Yet Band Hero, which the wife brought home on Sunday, had me worried at times at just how much enjoyment I was having with it, not only was I fearing for my heterosexuality but at times, bopping along to No Doubt's 'Just a Girl', I even began to wonder about my actual gender.
I know I commented on the demo, saying it was arse, but the full game actually proves itself to be more fun and actually slightly more polished than Guitar Hero 5. The series' cast is back in full force, but they've been bastardized to fit the game's X-Factor aesthetic. Gone is Johnny Napalm's Mohican, tamed to blond spikes. Goodbye Judy Nail's piercings, she's resorted to the awful Avril Lavigne 'mosher' template. And what did they do to Axel Steel...
The band also play a more visible role this time, when a track features a female vocalist the game provides you with one, so you aren't watching a butch metalhead squeal out a girlish ballad. Also, in the case of Evanescence's angst-ridden abortion 'Bring Me To Life', the bits where the guy sings were performed by my avatar, the guitarist. "Ha ha, you're the fat one" the wife pointed out. Her words cut deeper than any knife. I did resent the fact that, when playing 'Wannabe' by the Spice Girls, the camera panned to me for the line 'Easy V doesn't come for free'. Not only does it insult my sexuality, now I'm a hooker too. And a real lady, apparently. It makes up for the insults in a very realistically obtainable achievement worth 490 points (seriously) though.
Okay, to wrap things up: Having a bit of a break from Sam and Max after a barmy (yet equally genius and hilarious) song and dance routine about war performed by a bunch of presidential aides just about melted my brain, and have decided that ACII Discovery isn't as good as it first seems, as it's all to easy to wind up stuck between two guards and with the blocking reversals from the other games somehow forgotten about this surely means certain death. And have decided to spend the XBox time between now and Mass Effect 2 hoovering up the last few achievements on Fallout 3, including collecting the Bobbleheads, which I epic failed at when I blew up Megaton without collecting the one from Lucas Simms' house and forgot to save beforehand. I had to go back to the previous save before that, which lost me about three hours' play. And a warning to anyone else starting afresh, don't try to do Operation Anchorage at level 5. It's unforgiving. Ciao.

Demon possession is the gift that keeps on giving!

2010-01-15T09:27:00.000Z

Cursed Mountain. We don't talk about Cursed Mountain in my house.
It's not really that bad a game, it's just so fucking frustrating that I was in danger of putting my Wii remote through the TV, so I had to stop playing it about half way through and move on. It's mainly one factor, the healing process. You see, to heal yourself you have to visit a shrine-type-thing and light incense. There's always a shrine there during a particularly difficult fight, but it takes around 6 seconds to do the deed and by that time you've been assaulted by three or four angry spooks and your health is lower than when you started. Couple that with unskippable cutscenes which you have to watch countless times when you inevitably die just after they've played and it's enough to make you want to garrote yourself with the Nunchuck cable.
So Cursed Mountain went the way of Sacred 2, banished to the shelf with it's tail between it's legs, and before the Wii was able to recover from actually being used, I had slammed Sam and Max Season One in the drive and was eagerly awaiting "The Wii's first Sitcom".
Sam and Max is a collection of six bite-size episodic Point-and-Click adventure games featuring two "Freelance Police Officers"; Sam is an anthropomorphic dog in a trilby hat who talks like a 1930s movie detective, and Max is a sociopathic rabbit with a penchant for violence.
The game is absolutely baffling in how random some of your tasks are, I am through but two of the six episodes and have had to consult a guide on more than a few occasions. This is obviously a conscious decision though, as the game is very self-parodying of the genre. When a conveniently needed item is given to you by a completely unrelated NPC, Sam will comment on how convenient that is, etc.
The humour is pretty good too, I applaud any game that uses the word 'bollocks', especially an American one. As far as the genre goes, S&M isn't the best but it's still great and very original. A bit more polish for the Wii conversion would have been great, there are times when the speech skips itself and the framerate drops sporadically but it's nothing game-killing. I think I'll be able to get through it without smashing a controller.
Had a bit of a go with the demo of Dark Void, the latest offering from Capcom this week. Wait, what's that I hear? Is it, yes it is! Nolan North ladies and gentlemen! Well, even I'm starting to get a bit bored of him, and that's saying something. Great voice-actors should be a once every-so-often treat, like Simon Templeman (The voice of Kain, of the Legacy of, for those who don't know). If you hear their voice every time you fire up a console, it kind of dulls the pleasure. Like eating Steak every day. Anyway, Dark Void at least does Nolan North well, giving him a very natural role not too dissimilar to Uncharted's Drake, and for the first few seconds while you're on foot, the game feels decent. Then you employ Dark Void's gimmick, the Jetpack, and it all goes tits up. The controls are all wrong, it's boring, it's silly, no, this won't be getting a purchase this side of 2 for £20. Had a quick go on Assassin's Creed II Discovery on the DS the other day and was pleasantly surprised. Way better and more polished that Altair's Chronicles was. I'll definitely give it a proper go if I can tear myself away from Tetris DS for long enough.
I got Rogue Warrior the other day. Yes, I know, I've seen the reviews, I know it only got an aggregate of 27 on Metacritic, but fuck it. It was £14 in Cash Converters and it's only been out a month and a half. If it's so bad (Manhunt 2 bad) that I have to get rid of it, I should make my money back in Gamestation. For now, it's nestled in my Shame Pile, so time will tell. It's gotta be worth it to hear Mickey Rourke rap.