Wow, what a mansion! (AKA the 24 Hour Gamer DLC edition)

Okay, doing something a bit different this week. With the recent trend of affordable DLC hitting the PSN store, I thought I'd grab a bit and give it a write-up, especially seeing as my Shame Pile has dried up. So here I go.

I started off with the two pieces of episodic DLC for Ubisoft's masterpiece (and clear winner of most improved sequel of the last decade) Assassin's Creed II, entitled The Battle of Forli and Bonfire of the Vanities. The two pieces fit nicely into the conveniently skipped chapters of the main game's storyline, so it's possible to play them both as part of a complete playthrough as well as going back to them after the game's conclusion. At £3.19 a piece, they don't exactly break the bank either.

The Battle of Forli takes place right after Ezio officially earns his Assassin's stripes, when the fight with Rodrigo Borgia, the would-be Pope, went a bit wrong. It involves a siege on the palatial home of briefly seen countess of Forli (and, lets face it, a bit of a slapper) Catarina Sforza, during which two of her seemingly countless children are kidnapped, along with the Apple of Eden, an artifact of limitless power.

The chapter starts with an escort mission, where you need to get Catarina and fellow Assassin Niccolo Machiavelli safely to the castle's keep, and is frustratingly annoying. Both of your charges would much rather dance around catching enemy axes with their faces than do anything useful, so it takes a lot of patience and perseverance to get through the very first bit. Once you get past that small annoyance though, it's back to the usual standard of the game though, fun, stylish combat and satisfying kills. The last kill, which took place atop a tower in the centre of a restricted area was extremely gratifying for me, as my assault on the monolith went flawlessly, with me stealing around the grounds surreptitiously picking off guards when their backs were turned, before leaping up the bastion, taking my target's mace out of his hands and deftly planting it, with the greatest of care, into his arsehole.

While The Battle of Forli wasn't to the standards of the main game, The Bonfire of the Vanities was a disgusting disappointment. It sees you, with freshly cultivated facial hair, tracking down the captor of the aforementioned Apple of Eden, exiled friar Girolamo Savonarola, who has taken over Florence. He has stationed 9 lieutenants around the city, who must each have their day ruined before the big man himself.

One of these future corpses is stationed on a boat, and for some reason if any of his guards see you the mission is over, despite the fact that he really isn't going anywhere quickly on a moored sail barge. The single assassination alone took me over an hour of swearing and pillow punching to (pun intended) execute, as it appears that 15th century guards can see through walls. I came so close once, after a flurry of smoke bombs and throwing knives, only for my prey to see me standing BEHIND him. And this, this single insignificant murder, made me go from loving Assassin's Creed II, to never wanting to play it again.

I was much happier with the two extra chapters for Resident Evil 5, a game I wasn't too thrilled with to begin with. Both are available now for a measly £3.99 each, and offer about an hour and a half of genuinely great gameplay.

The first, titled Lost in Nightmares tells the story of how series staple Jill Valentine met her apparent demise at the hands of superhuman baddie Albert Wesker during the assault on Ozwell Spencer's stately mansion, as told through a flashback in RE5's main story. The plot though, is a thin disguise for a basic summation of the first Resident Evil, and feels like a big 'thank you' to the fans from Capcom. It has all of the favourites, from the 'Jill Sandwich' spiked ceiling, to the secret door opened by playing 'Moonlight Sonata' on a Piano, to the different shaped cranks used to progress. There are even a few stray Zombies dotted around too. The only real let down of the piece is a slightly sketchy boss fight with Mr. Wesker, but that's only a small complaint and doesn't mar the experience one iota.

The second part, titled Desperate Escape, tells the events of RE5's climax from the point of view of Miss Valentine, and her new acquaintance Josh Stone (not Joss Stone), of the West-African branch of the Bioterrorism Security Assessment Alliance, or BSAA. Where the first pack was mainly puzzle based, this is all about action and does not disappoint, throwing all kinds of enemies at you. There are plenty of Executioners, Chainsaw Majini and Gatling Gun Majini to keep the action flowing, with mannable grenade-launcher emplacements dotted around sporadically, and ammo everywhere to keep the carnage up. The chapter climaxes with what is basically the game's mercenaries mode, with you holding position while waiting seemingly hours for an evac, which gets genuinely tense. Both expansion packs breathe life into a game that frankly got stale before it's own ending.

Finally, I finished off with the first chapter of the episodic Heavy Rain Chronicles, ominously named The Taxidermist. Way back during Heavy Rain's early development, Quantic Dream showed a technical demo of the game's heroine Madison Paige being chased around a house by a crazed killer, and that eventually became what I was playing. Currently unavailable commercially, I downloaded it freely with the game's collector's edition.

It starts off with Ms. Paige investigating a potential Origami Killer, an ex Taxidermist (hence the title) who turns out to be away from home when she arrives. Naturally, she breaks into his home and starts to snoop around. Upstairs she makes a grizzly discovery in the bathroom; the body of a woman in a bath filled with more blood than water, then in a large open plan room at the end of the corridor, more dead women, this time stuffed and placed in provocative clothing and positions, including, sickeningly, a nude one in a double bed.

The look of shock on Madison's face and how she reacts to everything she sees is fantastic, it really shows emotion that isn't usually conveyed in games outside of cutscenes. And it's mirrored in the player when the killer returns home, I've honestly never felt so tense as I tried, and ultimately failed to sneak out of his house, I could actually hear my own heartbeat. Long story short, things ended badly for poor Madison, but that was only one of a potential six conclusions, so it has replay value too. I'll definitely go back to it, and await future episodes eagerly.

Back to normal next week, and I'll try and dig up something to play and comment on before then. I might finally have time to give Little Big Planet a proper go. Until then.