In your bedroom at night with the lights off and your headphones on... everyone can hear you scream...

Like I said last week, I've grown tired of Fantasy RPGs of late, and felt that the well-above-average Divinity II: The Dragon Knight Saga deserved my attention at a time when I can bestow it fully upon the game. I even tried the simple, accessible Fable II (not a typo, I've just played Fable: The Lost Chapters and intended to play the three of them in sequence), but just couldn't muster the enthusiasm. The heroic adventures of Nobhead (descendant of Arseface) will have to wait.

All the while, the soundtrack to my RPG lethargy came in the form of The Smashing Pumpkins' whingey teen anthem 'Bullet with Butterfly Wings', a song (and band) I absolutely abhor, yet one that worms it's way into your subconscious like the T-Virus. The vessel for this song? The TV advert for Dead Space 2, a game that was so far off my radar it might as well have been Women's Murder Club or something. I've had the original Dead Space for so long, and it must be said I have never liked it, I just haven't ever gotten rid of it because of it's poor monetary value (I bought it for a tenner a couple of years ago, I'd be lucky to get £3 back on a trade-in). The reason for my disdain was the lack of positive reinforcement for your actions as a player, every little thing you did had a negative impact on the story, and every cutscene was just one of your companions telling you to go somewhere and do something, and the other, a bratty annoying bint of a woman, telling you it won't work. Then you do it, and it doesn't work.

But the TV spot for DS2 made me want the game so badly, for no reason other than that I couldn't get Billy Corgan and his group of misfitted pricks out of my head. And I felt like, as it is such a major player in the still fairly niche Survival Horror genre, I should really like it. So Divinity II took a temporary bow and my trusty 360 Elite became the subject of nightmares for a few days. And I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Bulbasaur used Vine-Whip! It's not very effective...

Actually, that's a lie. There's this bit where you have to shoot asteroids out of the sky before they hit you, and that had me on the verge of snapping my controller in two through sheer rage. But apart from that, it was excellent. None too original (Think Half-Life's Gordon Freeman complete with Gravity Gun, fused with Silent Hill 2's James Sunderland, on board Red Dwarf, fighting Zombies, directed by Ridley Scott and you're pretty much there), but that hardly matters when you are so preoccupied with being terrified that you daren't take your finger off the aim button to press a switch. Later in the game, the developers seemed to have forgotten that the game was supposed to be scary, with the whole endgame taking place in broad daylight, but that's just cleverly there to lure you into a false sense of security before chucking the ending at you, which had everyone I've spoken to who's finished the game collectively shit their pants.

So I'm on board for DS2 now. I'll no doubt pick it up in a month or so, I was planning on getting the 360 version to continue my night terrors, but the prospect of a single disk, a free copy of Dead Space Extraction and some armour for Dragon Age II (which my wife is to purchase on the PS3), I'm being swayed to the PS3 version, but I'll see. Speaking of Dragon Age, the Archdemon finally fell last night. I've got Awakening, Witch Hunt and The Golems of Amgarrak to do before DAII, but for the minute I'm enjoying the light-hearted and simple Batman: The Brave and the Bold.

Here at 24HG, if you ask us what the manliest game in the world is, chances are you'd be told Ghost Squad. Sega's Wii Shooter does have you high-five the President after rescuing him from the clutches of an evil homosexual terrorist after all. but this week it's been surpassed by... EA's girl-friendly casual gaming champion The Sims 2?

Now, Ghost Squad may be manly. But it will never be Pyramid Head, Kratos, Barry Burton and The Punisher in a Hot Tub talking about Baseball manly.

Finally, I was asked over Formspring what I have against Bayonetta. Good question. One that I will answer the next time I don't have anything better to do, like oh, go and buy Marvel vs. Capcom 3, which is what I'm going to do right now. Bye for now.

Uhh, so this is your big day, huh? (24 Hour Gamer is 1!)

It's hard to believe, but today marks a whole year since my first post as a fledgling blogger, a three-paragraph effort with very very brief looks at 24: The Game, Assassin's Creed and The Punisher: No Mercy, which, quite understandably, nobody read. With a combination of no paragraph spacing, a lack of the html skills to add pictures (before Blogger improved the user interface) and nothing particularly interesting to say, things didn't exactly look rosey for 24HG, but I didn't mind.

See that right there? That's paragraph spacing. The extent of what I've learned is astonishing. So anyway, with the blog slowly picking up momentum, and readers of course, over the last year, I'm going to go over the good and bad times, some of which will be new to you guys.

Firstly, the most mentioned game over the whole year. I checked a few months ago, and the clear winner was Epic's erm... epic, Gears of War, obviously down to every game that involves a gun chiefly taking place mostly behind a waist high wall. But it has since fallen behind games like The Elder Scrolls, Assassin's Creed and Mass Effect, the latter of which I had actually assumed would be the most mentioned, as I've actually played both ME and ME2 twice each over the last year. But the actual most blogged about game, deservedly so, is Uncharted, with the series' second iteration taking the game world by storm just before Christmas. If I'd have known how terrified I would become of Dragon Age back then, U2 would have most definitely been my Game of the Year.

 Uncharted: Officially the most popular game on 24HG.

E-mails. I've taken the e-mail button from the site now, since 24HG is no longer a one-man operation, but for a while it was there and I had a few pretty funny messages. Firstly, an offer was extended to me, following my use of lyrics from 'Borderline' in the title to my Borderlands-centric post, to join a Madonna fan club. I quickly declined, as the version of Borderline that I had in my head throughout the whole 35 hours of play that Borderlands offered was in fact a cover by pop-punk stalwarts Showoff. But the offer was nice. I had an overwhelming amount of e-mails (like, three of them!) asking me to review Final Fantasy XIII, and I still haven't. And let's just say my treatment of Modern Warfare 2 didn't go down well. And finally, I had a very politely worded e-mail asking me to give up the name '24 Hour Gamer' and my login details for my Twitter account. Needless to say, I didn't.

 I'll review it one day. Probably. Possibly.

Speaking of Twitter, I set up my account (@Pete_24HG, or follow Trev @TjStan if he ever tweets again) alongside the blog to whore my posts out to anyone who'd listen. It's seen me post about everything from Blockbuster pricing the first Fallout 3 Expansion disk at £40 to awesome fictional metal bands in Alan Wake, but perhaps most noteworthy was my 1000th tweet, which read like a Shakespearean sonnet: "@MarkySharky Kiss my ass :p".

So onwards and upwards then. Hopefully, with Trev on board, 24HG should continue to expand over the next year, potentially with Podcasts, video reviews and joint pieces, maybe even a forum or something, who knows? We're open to suggestions too, anything YOU'D like to see, just pop it in the comments box, tweet at us, or e-mail one of us at the24hourgamer@googlemail.com or thetrevstan@googlemail.com and let us know.

Finally, a big thanks to everyone who's helped out: To Trev 24HG for extending his hand in aid, like Elika catching the 2008 Prince of Persia as he plummets into a chasm for the 4000th time (one day I'll compare you to a male character). To Susie, my wife, who not only actively encourages me to game, but also soundly kicked my ass on Guitar Hero Arcade on our actual honeymoon. To MarkySharky and CtrlAltKill of Twitter, for drilling into me the need to space paragraphs and add images respectively. To Paul and Raz7el, for always offering good videogame chat. To 30-Something Gamer for being my first follower and providing a great blog for me to read. Imagine Publishing's Dan Howdle for inadvertently mentioning the site in his Podcast a few times. The guys at the NowGamer forums. Paul_LFC at VideoGame Space. And everyone who's read and/or commented here at 24HG. It's been a good year.

Oh Mickey, you're so fine, you're so fine, you blow my mind.

Where to start? Well, if I said that the last week had been a good gaming week for me, I'd be lying through my teeth. It started off well, with my re-discovery of The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, which has eaten up about 12 hours of time that I should have spent sleeping this week. I have played Oblivion before, about three times from start to finish actually, so I thought I'd mix things up a little this time. Playing as a Khajiit, an anthropomorphic cat for those who haven't played the game yet (although you really should, it's a very likely candidate for the best game ever made), I've taken it upon myself to make it my goal to hunt and kill every Argonian (lizard people, and historical enemies of the Khajiit) in the game world, after they've served any purpose they might have that is.

Aside from that, this is the first time I've tried playing the game with Light Armour, and only the second time using swords, as I usually go for heavy armour and axes or (my favourite) warhammers. And it's my first time out of the dungeon that I wasn't in the shoes of an Elf too, so a lot of the game is fresh to me this time. But that's the high point of the week over right there.

After the surprisingly great ObsCure, I was eager to fire up ObsCure II on the Wii, and was appalled. None of the atmosphere had survived, the creepy post-Gothic feeling of the original's high school setting had been replaced by a college frat house full of asshole stereotype douchebags with absolutely disgusting voice actors that they must have scraped up off the street. I commented on how Sum 41's 'Still Waiting' failed to set the scene in the first one, but the opening music to ObsCure II (god knows what it was) was comically inappropriate, actually cheerful sounding.

Then you get thrown into the gameplay, and the erratic animation combined with the standard sketchy-at-best Wii controls that make any attempt at a serious game (bar Resident Evil 4) a chore make the game virtually unplayable. The writers seem to have forgotten that our heroes found a cure for their infection at the end of the first game, because now they are having to take medicines to stop it spreading. Also, none of the returning characters look, sound or behave as they did before (our hero Stan has even stopped talking like Vanilla Ice), showing yet more lack of attention by the developers. And after a bad nightmare sequence that shamelessly ripped off Silent Hill and a run-in with the game's very first enemies who can tear about a third of your health away with one hit, it wasn't long before I switched it off. If I ever find it for a decent price on the PS2, I might be tempted to have a go at it with a normal controller, but as it stands I'm just not interested enough to put myself through it.

So I moved on to this week's main event, the infamous Rogue Warrior on the PS3. Rogue Warrior is a supposed true story based on the autobiography of former Navy Seal commander (and tourette's sufferer, if the game is anything to go by) Dick Marcinko. I'm not going to skirt around things here, this game is BAD. But it's not insultingly bad, like Haze, it's laugh-out-loud, piss-hilarious bad. I suppose, if you'd spend £40 on it, then it would be a bit of a kick in the balls, but I only spent £14.99 (I can only imagine how bad the person who sold it to Cash Converters felt, he can't have gotten more than a tenner for it less than a month after it was released. I hope for his sake he stole it).

I'm going to start with the script. Dick, voiced by muscular pensioner Mickey Rourke, must have said about 4 or 5 words before his first 'fuck' broke through, and then never looked back. Apart from the D-grade military action movie jargon I think I heard one line of F-bomb free dialogue in the whole game, and that was a reference to cunnilingus. At one point, close to death, Dick descended into one long, uninterrupted swear word, which went something like "fucknshitbastardcommiemotherfuckinfuck". That's quality writing right there. From his voice, you get the feeling that Mickey's heart wasn't really in it. But you also get the feeling that half of the expletives weren't actually on the script too.

Right, gameplay time. Rogue Warrior is a standard FPS, one man versus the whole of North Korea and the Soviet Union type of affair. It's cover system is like a happy marriage between Killzone 2 and Gears of War, and it feels great until you reload. If you leave cover half way through reloading, the action is cancelled. It's okay though, there's no reason to leave cover, because the enemies will just stroll over and stand at the other side of whatever you're hiding behind, happily firing round after round into the bulletproof barrier, allowing you to use blindfire and just poke your gun over the top and kill him without even aiming.

The enemies take cover too though, and I actually saw one throw a grenade at the cover he was hiding behind, resulting in the explosive bouncing right back and landing in his lap. So it's no surprise that Kim Jong Il's finest pose very little threat to you throughout the game. The only problem comes with the Shotgun carriers, who defy the laws of the world by being able to shoot the hairs off a flea's back at 200 yards. Attention to detail, nothing is spared.

Like with The Punisher on the PS2, I tended to favour the melee kills, which are triggered by moving close to an enemy and pressing the X button. This sends the camera out to a third person view so you can admire you suitably brutal finisher, ranging from turning an enemy's gun on himself to slitting his throat, to the frankly worrying move involving sticking your knife up a poor communist's arsehole. The mind boggles.

It's hard to imagine, that with the publisher of Fallout 3 and the developer of Rogue Trooper and Aliens vs. Predator, that an FPS with such a rich upbringing could go so wrong. Whoever thought it would be a great idea to let people play as a demolitions expert (the game's main aim is to plant explosives on missiles) was sorely mistaken. And who decided that 2 and a half hours was an adequate lifespan of a game was frankly insane. But at least it made me laugh.

And that's about it. I had a quick go on Madworld the other day, and it didn't really grab me. The visuals are headache inducing (reminding me of pictures I used to draw as a child, where I would only colour in the blood), and it seems to me that they had tried to come up with a valid storyline involving terrorists at the start of the game, but then abandoning it and leaving the cutscene in. One minute the president is addressing the nation over a terrorist attack and promising to send in a special agent, the next you're in a violent Running Man style game show. Then it's just hitting people until the game over screen. I'll have another go, but I don't predict I'll fall for it. Speaking of falling for things, I tried the Just Cause 2 demo last night, and I think I'll be bringing the full game home on the 26th. Even though I loved the original, for some reason I wasn't expecting much from the sequel, but was very pleasantly surprised. Gives me something to look forward to.

Check back next week for the DLC special!

Shoot yourself. Save me a bullet.

Well, here we are again.
Started the week by finishing Mass Effect a second time, and a really cool thing happened. I actually convinced Saren to shoot himself! Sure, I still had to fight his Husk after, but it was awesome none the less.
After posting last friday I headed out and re-bought The Punisher, this time on the XBox, and finished it last night. What a game. Most multi-platform games that I've tried on both the XB and PS2 have been identical in appearance, but TP actually looks loads better, from the contours on his face to the bump mapping on walls. It was the first time ever that I looked at the 'Box lovingly and pushed my PS2 aside, knowing that beneath the cheap feeling plastic and spazzy joypad there is something wonderful in that big black box.
Some of the dialogue in The Punisher is great too; "Who would win in a fight between The Punisher and DareDevil?" "Don't be stupid, DareDevil is a comic book character!", and the violence is top notch. Forcing a grenade into a guy's mouth and letting him run towards his friends? I don't know of another game where that happens.
I also picked up Resident Evil 5 last Friday, finally, and on Wednesday me and my friend Paul spent the day playing co-op over PSN. It's very good, very tactical. But I can't ever see myself playing it on my own. I tried the XBox Live demo on my own and it was arse. Sheva kept getting in my way.
I also read online that Capcom are thinking about a Wii conversion, which I'll probably grab. The Wii RE4 was probably the best version.
Looks like my PSP will be getting a lot of love in the coming months, with games like MGS: Peace Walker, SoulCalibur, Dissidia, Resident Evil Portable and Cannon Fodder on the Horizon. I hope none of them are only on this PSP Go travesty though. I still don't properly trust digital downloads, and I don't think games companies should abandon those of us without the disposeable income to upgrade their current consoles. I'm still on my first generation PSP, and while it still lives have no reason to buy another one. Plus, the Go's analogue stick is in entirely the wrong place. No thanks.
I'll sign out on a positive note, I got the Special Monster Edition of Crash of the Titans from Morrisons the other day for £4. Not a game I'll ever play, but the special edition lover in me wanted it, and as of then I hadn't ever owned a game in a fluffy orange case before. I still say it was worth it.

Dammit Tony, they've got Kim!

I've just spent the last week playing 24: The Game on the PS2. Damn Good.
Not only did I get to be Jack Bauer, The game is so far ahead of it's time it's untrue, and I'm kicking myself for not playing it back in the day. It even has physics! It runs on the Havok engine! And not to mention the much coveted cover system, from a time when every game wasn't centered around hiding behind a wall.
Also I've been messing around with Assassin's Creed (forcing myself to replay it because I played it on release and hated it) and Punisher: No Mercy, both on PS3. I've actually really enjoyed Ass Creed this time, although why a slightly-tanned American would be running around in the middle east killing people is beyond me. Maybe they have oil.
No Mercy is, well, it's Unreal Tournament III really. Fair enough, I can play as The Punisher, which would have sold it to me if I couldn't already play as Solid Snake and Cole Train in UTIII. I could argue that it's only £6.29, but you can pick up UTIII for around that now anyway. It's good, don't get me wrong. I still say buy it, but but the PS2/XBox Punisher game first. That's Brilliant.
I actually bought a bunch of games this week too. Killzone 2 is a mere £19.99 at Morissons right now, and Little Big Planet was on Deal of the Week at Blockbuster for a Tenner, so I snapped them both up, and I raided the dreaded '4 for £20' bin and came away with Beowulf, Golden Axe Beast Rider, Dark Sector and a friend got Kane and Lynch. Expect a look at Beast Rider next week.