I wanna be the very best, like no-one ever was, to catch them is my real test, to train them is my cause!

We're currently in the throes of a midlife crisis here at 24HG-UK towers ladies and gents. It all started with my acquisition of the X-Men Animated Series on DVD, then my rekindling a fondness for the soothing tones of Limp Bizkit. And now, to cap it all off, I've been playing Pokemon.

Not the old versions mind, although I do have both the Yellow and Gold editions and a working Game Boy Colour to hand, but this year's Black version on the DS (the standard DS, puzzlingly enough, as it was released about two weeks before the 3DS arrived, which strikes me as a bit of a missed opportunity), and it is absolutely brilliant. Not that it's any different to the old colours of course, thanks to Nintendo's policy of never changing anything, but that doesn't matter, it's not broken so it need not be fixed, as it were.

I had forgotten how much of an asshole the Pokemon AI can be at times though, upon facing my first Gym Leader's Lillipup, which pumped up it's attack power to astonishing levels right up until it's health was in a critical state, then wiped out all six of my Pokemon in six moves without me getting a turn, the bastard. Not phased though. I just need to train mine some more before I sink further into my youth. Ooh look, Comix Zone is on the PSN store...

More on Nintendo and their unwavering opposition to risk-taking, I've also put a few hours into The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D. I do acknowledge that when the game first arrived on the N64 all those years ago it did radically alter the former Zelda template, but having recently finished Twilight Princess it's glaringly obvious that nothing has changed since then. Once again, however, it's not really that much of a problem because Ocarina is still an incredible game.

One thing though, that really could and should have been altered, is the map in the HUD. Twilight Princess' map switched between floors as you did, making multi-tiered dungeons for more manageable. Ocarina's didn't, and still doesn't, annoyingly.

That's just one minor complaint though, in an otherwise great game, still as impressive now as it ever was, and thanks to a 21st century makeover, it's looking beautiful too. The only thing missing is a touch screen mini game where you catch Link's annoying fairy sidekick Navi in a jam jar and burn the little fucker with a magnifying glass, but no game is perfect, right? Well, not until November anyway.

Hunted has outstayed it's welcome, and as such I've moved on to Red Faction: Armageddon, which ditches the open-world sandbox of it's predecessor Guerrilla for a more traditional underground corridor shooter style that the series was built on. You play as Darius Mason, descendant of Guerrilla's protagonist Alec Mason (Not to be confused with Call of Duty's Alex Mason), a bald man with goggles seemingly surrounded by fellow bald men with goggles (seriously, the game looks like a Chronicles of Riddick convention) who inadvertently condemns the whole of the human population of Mars to life underground by destroying the planet's seemingly solitary terraformer, and then in a completely unrelated event, awakens an ancient race of large surly insects a few weeks later. What is he like?

While the ability to raze buildings to the ground with a lump hammer still... erm... stands, the game seems to have more of a focus on rebuilding and repairing, both of the shattered remains of society that seem to be left every time Darius decides to joke about organizing a riot on Facebook or put a cat in a wheelie bin, and of the environment which inevitably suffers after each hefty firefight, and this concept is seemingly symbolically the franchise as a whole, Armageddon being the closest in tone and concept to the original out of all three sequels. Darius keeps a magic machine on his wrist that unleashes Red Dwarf-style nano-machines to reconstruct anything in it's path, which works as fast as you can run, allowing for some genuinely impressive escapes when things get tough.

Armageddon functions well as a shooter, it's decent. There's no cover system, which would have worked a treat with the rebuild mechanic, and each weapon only has a single function, but everything else is present and correct, if a little old school. The only major problem I have with it is the same thing that bugged me about Halo 2, that you're faced with room after room full of hundreds of bad guys at times, and plugging away at identical aliens for hours on end gets very, very monotonous. And as such, as with Halo 2, I often find myself just legging it past my marauders. Also, as good as Armageddon is (and it is), it fails to live up to Guerrilla's standards. There's still no greater thrill than bombing a 120mph garbage truck into a high-rise building and seeing it collapse on top of you.

Can't help but think though, why didn't he just rebuild the terraformer at the beginning of the game, and avoid all of this hassle? What is he like?